Does Wedding Guest Have a Right to be Pissed?

jlteach78

So I had my wedding yesterday and dealt with all the SNAFUs leading up to it. It was the perfect day minus the tension between MIL and MOH. Right after the ceremony and before dinner there was a few minutes of down time while our 20 guests took turns congratulating us. It was kinda crazy with people swarming us, photog wanting cake photos ASAP and my husband rushing to another room for our minister's payment. I made sure to mingle after dinner with everyone after dinner so as not to make anyone feel unwelcome. My friend sat there, not talking to me, her face buried in a packet of paper which was wedding venue info for her October 2015 wedding. By nature she is huuuuge AW and everything always needs to be about her. She's demanding a 5 carat ring from her boyfriend. My husband and I were not going to serve alcohol but she kept asking all week about drinks so DH ordered drinks for everyone ( more money). She and her boyfriend left 5 minutes after cake @6:45pm claiming she needed to feed her dogs. My ceremony was at 5pm and 10 minutes from her home. Then on FB today she posts how some people are "all smoke and mirrors. I wasn't impressed at all". She left the post very vague and hasn't liked a single one of my pics. I thi she was so rude to be wedding venue searching at such a small intimate event called my wedding. I think her leaving early was because she wasn't getting enough attention. Do I let this go or say something?

thejucheidea

Let it go. What's the point in bringing it up and giving her attention? Just ignore it and move on.

Maggie0829

You say that she is a big AW.  I mean who brings information about their wedding to read at someone else's wedding?  I would personally ignore it.  Don't give her the attention she seems to crave.

6fsn

Evaluate the friendship.  Do you want to continue it? Is there anything else going on? 

Any one thing wouldn't bother me much, but taken together it's not very nice. 

I had a friend that sent me divorce statistics while I was on my honeymoon.  It wasn't very nice, but alone it wasn't major. There were a lot of other little things that added up to me thinking she wasn't worth my time though.  It was sad, and I miss her sometimes, but it wasn't something I wanted to continue.

emmyg65

Why are you friends with this person? She sounds like a self-centered drama queen. (I hate vaguebooking.) Definitely ignore her behavior at your wedding and decide whether you still want to be friends with her.

tawillers

I agree with 6.  Her behavior at your wedding and the vaguebooking that you assume is about you doesn't exactly scream "friend worth having around".  I would let it all go, but evaluate why you want her in your life.

But the title of your post makes me think something happened to upset her.  Did you leave something out of your post?

HisGirlFriday13

Why are you friends with this person? I agree with PPs -- evaluate the friendship, figure out if you can overlook this stuff, and move on.

But don't give her the attention she wants by responding to her vaguebooking or calling her out on her behaviour.

ETF: Words are hard before coffee

dharmabunny

Guess you didn't postpone.

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1017447/thinking-of-postponing-wedding

*Barbie*

she was rude, but really, you're complaining because she didn't like any of your FB pictures? 

I think you need to get over it, and decide if you really want to continue in this friendship. 

jlteach78 said:

So I had my wedding yesterday and dealt with all the SNAFUs leading up to it. It was the perfect day minus the tension between MIL and MOH. Right after the ceremony and before dinner there was a few minutes of down time while our 20 guests took turns congratulating us. It was kinda crazy with people swarming us, photog wanting cake photos ASAP and my husband rushing to another room for our minister's payment. I made sure to mingle after dinner with everyone after dinner so as not to make anyone feel unwelcome. My friend sat there, not talking to me, her face buried in a packet of paper which was wedding venue info for her October 2015 wedding. By nature she is huuuuge AW and everything always needs to be about her. She's demanding a 5 carat ring from her boyfriend. My husband and I were not going to serve alcohol but she kept asking all week about drinks so DH ordered drinks for everyone ( more money). She and her boyfriend left 5 minutes after cake @6:45pm claiming she needed to feed her dogs. My ceremony was at 5pm and 10 minutes from her home. Then on FB today she posts how some people are "all smoke and mirrors. I wasn't impressed at all". She left the post very vague and hasn't liked a single one of my pics. I thi she was so rude to be wedding venue searching at such a small intimate event called my wedding. I think her leaving early was because she wasn't getting enough attention. Do I let this go or say something?

jlteach78

My issue is her looking at packets of venues and then leaving an hour after the ceremony to feed the dogs (her excuse). The FB not liking of photos and vague booking tells me she's pissed off and I feel she's got no right to be. You all are right in questioning why she and I are friends. I def need to reevaluate the friendship. I don't care that she didn't like photos, I was pointing out its odd for her no to like anything as she typically likes most of my posts.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

6fsn said:

Evaluate the friendship.  Do you want to continue it? Is there anything else going on? 

Any one thing wouldn't bother me much, but taken together it's not very nice. 

I had a friend that sent me divorce statistics while I was on my honeymoon.  It wasn't very nice, but alone it wasn't major. There were a lot of other little things that added up to me thinking she wasn't worth my time though.  It was sad, and I miss her sometimes, but it wasn't something I wanted to continue.

OMG this!^^  Sometimes, just because you've been friends with someone for ages, doesnt make them a good friend, right?  It's really hard to take a look at that type of relationship objectively and actively decide to shut it down because it is so personal.

I used to have a friend that was kind of a jerk.  We'd been friends since Grade 9.  I went to her wedding.  We have mutual friends.  One day I was talking to my mother about her how she never replies to me when I message and ask how she is:

"I don't know why you keep trying.  She wasn't a great friend.  Honestly, you were always there for her and she's never there for you.  I don't know what you get out it."

She was so right.  After that, our relationship started to drift apart, and I almost never hear from her.  She wasnt even willing to reach out after I stopped reaching out.  It's just not worth the fight sometimes.

Just let it go.  Her fights are something you shouldnt get sucked into, you know?  Maybe now is a great time to start drifting apart if not severing the tie entirely.

*Barbie*

so you got past the unemployment and online search for trannies and S&M hookups? <<< none of this was an issue, but someone leaving your reception early, and not liking your FB photos was? 

priorities. 

http://forums.thenest.com/discussion/12005093/caught-him#latest

schellzinator

Maybe I'm wrong - but it sounds like there might be more going on with your friend.  I agree with PP, evaluate whether it is a friendship you wish to continue.  However, if you do continue - you might want to ask if everything is ok.

ReturnOfKuus

So you DID marry the shady-ass guy who was cheating on you.