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Invites and Paper

Feel like a Jerk

ugh so I'm just about to send my invitations out ( everythings sealed and stamped) and my mother just pointed out I forgot my groom's parents name on the invitation.I filled out a  template and it slipped my brain.. I feel terrible..what can I do for damage control?!

Re: Feel like a Jerk

  • Post your text and I will proof it.  The groom's parents do not normally appear on the invitation unless they are hosting.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    HisGirlFriday13kmmssg
  • Ditto @CMGragain. Post the text and we'll proof it. Generally the groom's parents aren't listed on the invites.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I don't see the point in proofing it since she already has them and is about to send them. I agree with Maggie; the names don't need to be on there unless they're hosting.
    Maggie0829JennyColadasheslikeasunburn
  • I don't see the point in proofing it since she already has them and is about to send them. I agree with Maggie; the names don't need to be on there unless they're hosting.
    Often when ladies ask for help on wording their invitations, I find that the wording that concerns them isn't the problem, but something else IS!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    @HisGirlFriday13 and @CMGragain - The invites have already been printed and sealed in their envelopes and stamped put on them.  She was worried that not listing her FI parents was rude.  We told her that it wasn't if they weren't hosting.  So why the need to proof them?  They are ready to go out the door.  I think it is a bit late to proof the invite.

    @foremaar - Are your FI parents hosting?  If not, then you are good to mail out your invites.

    JennyColadasheslikeasunburnvmj23
  • @hisgirlfriday13 and @cmgragain i do not see how you proofing her sealed and stamped invite would be productive.

    if they are not hosting then there is no damage to control.  if they are then i have no good advice. if you have the time and money i would reprint.  if not, i would have an honest conversation with them admitting you didn't realize all the intricacies around what goes on an invite, and thought the template was a good guide.  definitely don't try to sweep it under the rug if they are, in fact, the hosts.
  • technically they aren't hosting, i think they are paying for grooms tuxes some flowers and rehearsal dinner. I just don't want them thinking that I'm not appreciative for all the love and support they've given us. Plus they are paying for the honeymoon. I just need to man up and admit I made a mistake ( plus the FH proofed them and didn't mention anything...so technically its his fault too..) and give a wonderful thank you gift.
    vmj23
  • Have your FI make a special thank you toast to his parents at the reception, and do write them a heart felt thank you note.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    foremaar said:
    technically they aren't hosting, i think they are paying for grooms tuxes some flowers and rehearsal dinner. I just don't want them thinking that I'm not appreciative for all the love and support they've given us. Plus they are paying for the honeymoon. I just need to man up and admit I made a mistake ( plus the FH proofed them and didn't mention anything...so technically its his fault too..) and give a wonderful thank you gift.
    You didn't make a mistake.  They aren't hosting the wedding.  They are hosting the rehearsal dinner which is a completely separate events.  While you don't need rehearsal dinner invites you could make some up and list them as the hosts.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • dolewhipperdolewhipper [wh]orlando member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    mysticl said:
    foremaar said:
    technically they aren't hosting, i think they are paying for grooms tuxes some flowers and rehearsal dinner. I just don't want them thinking that I'm not appreciative for all the love and support they've given us. Plus they are paying for the honeymoon. I just need to man up and admit I made a mistake ( plus the FH proofed them and didn't mention anything...so technically its his fault too..) and give a wonderful thank you gift.
    You didn't make a mistake.  They aren't hosting the wedding.  They are hosting the rehearsal dinner which is a completely separate events.  While you don't need rehearsal dinner invites you could make some up and list them as the hosts.  
    How do you know they're hosting the rehearsal dinner? My step father is hosting my RD and I'm the bride.


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  • mysticl said:
    foremaar said:
    technically they aren't hosting, i think they are paying for grooms tuxes some flowers and rehearsal dinner. I just don't want them thinking that I'm not appreciative for all the love and support they've given us. Plus they are paying for the honeymoon. I just need to man up and admit I made a mistake ( plus the FH proofed them and didn't mention anything...so technically its his fault too..) and give a wonderful thank you gift.
    You didn't make a mistake.  They aren't hosting the wedding.  They are hosting the rehearsal dinner which is a completely separate events.  While you don't need rehearsal dinner invites you could make some up and list them as the hosts.  
    How do you know they're hosting the rehearsal dinner? My step father is hosting my RD and I'm the bride.
    Because she said they're hosting the rehearsal dinner.
    camillechattammym1001SKPM
  • My mom wanted me to put FI's names on the invite. There's some issues with his family that led us to not want to do it, but I also explained to her that it's not traditional to mention any parents unless they're hosting. I put my foot down and refused to do it. 

    If you're worried about their feelings being hurt, make up some cheap RD invites on Vistaprint and put their names on there as hosts. And be sure to thank them after the wedding for all they did. Or at the wedding if the two of you are giving a speech.

    Anniversary
  • Don't stress it or beat yourself up about it...most wedding invitations do not include the groom's parent's names (unless they are hosting)...especially since your Fiance proofed as well and did not notice. You say how your mother pointed out this "mistake"... If your mother is anything like my mother, she may not understand all of the wedding etiquette and be overly concerned with not offending anyone. For instance, my mom told me that my fiancé's friend's wives/girlfriends should be invited to my bridal shower since they will be invited to the wedding (even though it's just as the dates or SO's to his friends!). Obviously my mother doesn't know what she's talking about.

     

  • yea pretty sure my mom just doesn't want to offend anyone...such a mom 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    foremaar said:
    technically they aren't hosting, i think they are paying for grooms tuxes some flowers and rehearsal dinner. I just don't want them thinking that I'm not appreciative for all the love and support they've given us. Plus they are paying for the honeymoon. I just need to man up and admit I made a mistake ( plus the FH proofed them and didn't mention anything...so technically its his fault too..) and give a wonderful thank you gift.
    Paying doesn't equal "hosting."  "Hosting" means acting as the point persons for the guests-issuing the invitations, receiving the replies, greeting the guests, and making sure that their needs are attended to.  One can pay for this and that without acting as a point person, and if that's all one is doing, one should not be listed on the invitation as a host.
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