October 2014 Weddings

Making everyone happy

It is getting down to the wire to find and order my bridesmaids dresses. I tried to plan a day to go, but one bridesmaid wants to go out of town that day. so I thought no biggie I will just go with her a couple weeks before. This simple nice gesture has started world war III with others. Should I just cancel the extra day and just say you will have to order later, without ever seeing dresses on??? So confused and annoyed. 

Re: Making everyone happy

  • I completely understand what you're going through.  I have 5 girls in my party, and most are spread out in different states. My maid of honor is in MD, my matron of honor is in NH, 1 bridesmaid in NH and 2 others in PA (pittsburgh and philly) so it was impossible to get them all together.  So what I did was take my maid and matron of honor out with me and the other NH bridesmaid and they tried on a BILLION dresses. Each was a different size (22, 4, 10) so it was easy to see how the dresses would look on the other 2 girls, and then I made the decision on which dress I liked. In the end it was up to me to make the decision, even though I wanted all of the girls to like the dress.  In the end it worked out, everyone loves the dress which is good. The 2 girls from PA went to alfred angelo (where I got the bridesmaids dresses) to try on the dress in the store at least before they placed their order with the bridal dress shop where I got my wedding dress. 

    Regarding canceling or keeping the  extra day, I don't understand why WWIII has started, are the other girls angry that you're going out before hand? perhaps you can explain the situation to them...not sure.  But if it I was me, I probably would just keep the day, versus canceling it.  If it's causing that much drama I would just tell the friend that can't come that she'll have to purchase the dress that everyone has decided on. 
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  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Could you invite the other girls to go on the 'early' date with you as well?  I'm guessing they're mostly afraid that friend you're going with early is going to have ALL the say in colors and styles and fabric. 

  • Agree with @Dignity100 - the group is worried your early viewing of dresses with the one girl will somehow sway your decision-making without the rest's input...that's my only guess.  I would also probably just keep the group day and the friend that can't come will have to deal somehow.  Or you can go with her AFTER the group appointment occurs. 
  • kla728kla728 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    My situation is similar to @ashwise, with BMs in PA, NY, MA, and OR while I'm in MD.  We ended up looking at dresses on the WeddingtonWay website, then once we found a group of styles that we all liked (which did take some time, mostly because I'm indecisive) they went to stores near them to try them on and then we ordered online.  It sounds like you're all in the same place so you may not need to order online, but you could look online first to get an idea of what you like and what they are comfortable with.  Maybe that would calm folks down.  Inevitably though, most people can't get all their BMs together to go shopping at one time in this day and age so I'm not sure what they are all upset.  My BMs were super laid back about the whole process and willing to do whatever.  Sorry yours are causing a fuss!
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