Face Palm...

hlvonb

So today was another "Really?!?" day when it came to our wedding invitations. We already sent them out and know that people have started receiving them. Anyway, I woke up today to a message on Facebook from my cousin who is 13 asking me if she could bring a guest to the wedding. I messaged back saying that unfortunately we can not accommodate any other guests. 

I thought that would be the end of it until I later got a message from her mother scolding me for not letting her 13 year old daughter bring a guest. I told the mom the same thing I told my cousin. She then replied with if I truly cared about family and wanted them to come and enjoy themselves, I would let her bring a guest. 

This went back and forth for a few minutes until I stopped replying - and eventually she stopped messaging me. 

My thought: You're a family of 8 and your daughter is 13. She will know 1/2 of the other people there. Tell me again why she needs a date.... (I did not say this to the mom. I kept my responses respectful). 

She's obviously not listening to me and I doubt she (my cousin's mom) will listen to my fiance. Should I ask my mom to talk to her?

JCbride2015

I wouldn't ask your mom to say anything, at least not until they bring it up again.  Somehow I get the feeling this girl is a little spoiled.  It's good for her to hear "no" once in a while.

hlvonb

JCBride2014 said:

I wouldn't ask your mom to say anything, at least not until they bring it up again.  Somehow I get the feeling this girl is a little spoiled.  It's good for her to hear "no" once in a while.

@JCBride2014

Yeah she's a spoiled brat. She got her belly button pierced without her parents knowing and they punished her by taking her phone away for 2 hours....

lyndausvi

A 13 year does not need a date. I side-eye any parent who even thinks she does.

Way to stick to your guns.

JCbride2015

hlvonb said:

JCBride2014 said:

I wouldn't ask your mom to say anything, at least not until they bring it up again.  Somehow I get the feeling this girl is a little spoiled.  It's good for her to hear "no" once in a while.

@JCBride2014

Yeah she's a spoiled brat. She got her belly button pierced without her parents knowing and they punished her by taking her phone away for 2 hours....

Hahaha.  Fi's parents somehow got that way by the time they had kid #4.  He and sister (#3) brought home A DOG and did not even get punished.  Well, the mom said they would be "grounded" or something and essentially nothing happened to them.  They weren't even made to take care of it, their dad walks it.

hlvonb

lyndausvi said:

A 13 year does not need a date. I side-eye any parent who even thinks she does.

Way to stick to your guns.

@lyndausvi

I agree. I could MAYBE understand wanting a date if she somehow wasn't going to know anyone else there but that's not the case. I am annoyed at her asking (just because she's a spoiled brat and being around her annoys me) but I am more annoyed with her mother. 

hlvonb

JCBride2014 said:

hlvonb said:

JCBride2014 said:

I wouldn't ask your mom to say anything, at least not until they bring it up again.  Somehow I get the feeling this girl is a little spoiled.  It's good for her to hear "no" once in a while.

@JCBride2014

Yeah she's a spoiled brat. She got her belly button pierced without her parents knowing and they punished her by taking her phone away for 2 hours....

Hahaha.  Fi's parents somehow got that way by the time they had kid #4.  He and sister (#3) brought home A DOG and did not even get punished.  Well, the mom said they would be "grounded" or something and essentially nothing happened to them.  They weren't even made to take care of it, their dad walks it.

@JCBride2014

Yeah. I don't think they would even try to ground her if she brought a dog home

HisGirlFriday13

If she pushes it, call her bluff. Say, 'Well, if you really feel you can't attend unless Suzy gets to bring a date, then we're terribly sorry and you'll be missed.'

People will be assholes until you push back.

hlvonb

HisGirlFriday13 said:

If she pushes it, call her bluff. Say, 'Well, if you really feel you can't attend unless Suzy gets to bring a date, then we're terribly sorry and you'll be missed.' People will be assholes until you push back.

@HisGirlFriday13

Yeah that's a good idea. I just hate this woman lol

jenna8984

Does a 13 year old even "date"?! Cuz if I was 13 and someone gave me a plus one it would be my best friend and we'd be super silly the whole time. Not like a romantic date?? But yea that's total poppycock. 

arrippa

 

hlvonb said:

JCBride2014 said:

I wouldn't ask your mom to say anything, at least not until they bring it up again.  Somehow I get the feeling this girl is a little spoiled.  It's good for her to hear "no" once in a while.

@JCBride2014

Yeah she's a spoiled brat. She got her belly button pierced without her parents knowing and they punished her by taking her phone away for 2 hours....

Is she an indigo child?

banana468

I'll echo @hisgirlfriday and just keep restating no. Is this your mom's sister?

JennyColada

I wasn't allowed a date at my cousin's wedding when I was 22.

She needs to suck it up.

RebeccaFlower

Seriously!? That is so absurd. I also second messaging her back using HGF's wording.

ohmrs2014

This is so similar to a post from awhile back about a guest asking if their daughter could bring a date.  The kid was like 8 or 9, maybe younger.  They specifically used the term indigo child.  

Seriously, a child does not need to bring a guest.  That's just ridiculous and and the whole situation makes me feel like this family feels entitled. 

MairePoppy

If the mother contacts you again, just say 'sorry, that won't be possible.' Don't offer any reasons, because that rude woman will try to argue with you - she'll pay for the kid, the kids can share a chair, meal etc... Hey, I have a novel idea. If the 13 year old will be bored at your wedding, she could stay home with her friend and a babysitter. Genius, right?

I wouldn't ask your mom to talk to the mother because mom might buckle. And hell, your answer should be good enough.

ETA - I think it's generous that you're inviting kids, especially a family with so many children. 

MairePoppy

As an afterthought, you should let your mom know that  you will be fielding questions about guests bringing guests, since it's a safe bet that Mrs. Rude is going to call your mom. 

hlvonb

jenna8984 said:

Does a 13 year old even "date"?! Cuz if I was 13 and someone gave me a plus one it would be my best friend and we'd be super silly the whole time. Not like a romantic date?? But yea that's total poppycock. 

@jenna8984

I would like to say no, 13 year olds don't date but these days, who knows.

hlvonb

banana468 said:

I'll echo @hisgirlfriday and just keep restating no. Is this your mom's sister?

@banana468

No. She married into the family

hlvonb

MairePoppy said:

If the mother contacts you again, just say 'sorry, that won't be possible.' Don't offer any reasons, because that rude woman will try to argue with you - she'll pay for the kid, the kids can share a chair, meal etc... Hey, I have a novel idea. If the 13 year old will be bored at your wedding, she could stay home with her friend and a babysitter. Genius, right?

I wouldn't ask your mom to talk to the mother because mom might buckle. And hell, your answer should be good enough.

ETA - I think it's generous that you're inviting kids, especially a family with so many children. 

@MairePoppy

I agree she can stay at home but to her mother that would be unheard of.

pabride56

Tell her she's lucky she's not one of our cousins. To us, DNA does not equate an invite. We invited 21+ (the legal drinking age in Penna.).

AlexaF2014