I've lurked on the forums here for a couple of months now and from what I have seen, everyone is very much against not inviting SO regardless of their behavior, past dramas, whether or not you approve of them, etc.
Based on what I've read on here, I had come to terms with the fact that I MUST invite my FBIL's girlfriend, despite the following:
1) My fiancés entire family hates her and is very vocal about it to her face
2) She has threatened to have members of my fiancés family killed/beat up
3) They have a violent relationship and have cause embarrassment out in public on several occasions with their cursing and screaming. My FBIL has ended up in the hospital as a result of their fights.
4) She is an all around rude, unpleasant person to be around (like someone out of an episode of jerry springer)
When I told my fiancé we would have to invite her, he told me he would not even consider it. He is reasoning that due to venue capacity, we can only invite 80 people. As we both have large families, we are only inviting a couple people that are not blood relatives. He is not willing to make a space for her, as the family dislikes her and it is likely there will be a scene.
When I told him that this could result in his brother refusing to attended, he said he was fine with that and that he doesn't think his brother would show up regardless (he can be somewhat flaky). What do I do at this point?
Not sure if it's worth mentioning, but we are paying for about 50% of the wedding ourselves and the rest is coming from my family. His has not offered anything, so although they are very vocal about their dislike for this girl, not sure if their opinion counts for much.
Honesty is appreciated.