Wedding Etiquette Forum

Honorary Bridesmaids?

My fiancé has four siblings – two brothers and two sisters – and I have three brothers. My brothers are Ushers and his are in the wedding party, but I also want his sisters to be involved. We have a set bridal party of 10 – my girls will be wearing light gray and the sisters will be wearing a darker gray and walking down the aisle with the Ushers (my brothers)… but what do I call them in the program?! I just want them to be involved – 'Honorary Bridesmaids', 'Hostesses' …any suggestions?!

Re: Honorary Bridesmaids?

  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited April 2014
    My fiancé has four siblings – two brothers and two sisters – and I have three brothers. My brothers are Ushers and his are in the wedding party, but I also want his sisters to be involved. We have a set bridal party of 10 – my girls will be wearing light gray and the sisters will be wearing a darker gray and walking down the aisle with the Ushers (my brothers)… but what do I call them in the program?! I just want them to be involved – 'Honorary Bridesmaids', 'Hostesses' …any suggestions?!

    There is no such think as an honorary BM. Its a crap title. Just have them be birdesmaids or dont. Its an all or none kind of thing.

    (Ushers walk down the aisle?)

    BabyFruit Ticker
    melbelleupdoeydoPrettyGirlLosts-aries8990
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Honorary kind of seems like a dig to me, like they weren't good enough.

    Why not just call them sisters of the groom?
    Agreed.

    I am not having any sort of role for my fsil, and I don't feel one ounce of guilt.
    grumbledorechibiyui
  • that seriously sounds like they're not good enough to be bridesmaids, but you still need to have them there.

    very rude.
    grumbledorechibiyui
  • MGPMGP member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    If you have room for ten other girls, you have room for two more. No one wants to be second tier, and asking them to dress like the first tier without the title is a huge slap in the face. Especially when this is your future family.

    My vote is for bridesmaids or nothing at all.
    KGold80PrettyGirlLost
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    The only people who can be honorary bridesmaids are those who have passed away.  So if your friends and family members are still breathing then they are either BMs or they are just guests.

    TeddiD34doeydoPrettyGirlLost
  • I don't understand how they aren't bridesmaids if they are wearing the same dress and are walking down the aisle?
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    It won't kill them to be guests. You do not have to give a role to every relative and friend ever. They would probably prefer to sit with family and wear whatever they want anyway. 
    image
    doeydoPrettyGirlLost
  • ei34ei34 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm confused- they're wearing a specific dress (dictated by you I assume?) and they're walking down the aisle...why aren't they just bridesmaids? 
    FWIW, I get along very well with both hubby's sisters, and they were both guests at our wedding.
    grumbledorePrettyGirlLost
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    My fiancé has four siblings – two brothers and two sisters – and I have three brothers. My brothers are Ushers and his are in the wedding party, but I also want his sisters to be involved. We have a set bridal party of 10 – my girls will be wearing light gray and the sisters will be wearing a darker gray and walking down the aisle with the Ushers (my brothers)… but what do I call them in the program?! I just want them to be involved – 'Honorary Bridesmaids', 'Hostesses' …any suggestions?!
    This makes no sense.



  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Why are they walking down the aisle in your BM's colors with groomsmen (ushers are essentially groomsmen) if they are not bridesmaids?
    PrettyGirlLost
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Those FSIL must be really nice sweet ladies.     No way in hell I would agree to buying a dress picked out by bride and being told I'm not even a BM.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    PrettyGirlLosts-aries8990
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited May 2014
    Why not just call them "guests"?  Forget about the special dresses.  This all sounds like a horribly over produced stage show!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Thy are buying dresses like a bridesmaid and going down the aisle like a bridesmaid... am I missing something? Why are they not bridesmaids?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you want them to buy specific dresses, then make them bridesmaids.  You have no business dictating what guests wear.  And nobody wants to be involved by being given "honorary" roles.  Either they're bridesmaids or they're not.
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited May 2014
    Agree with all the above. They are either bridesmaids or not. You can get them each a corsage. They could perform a reading at the ceremony, sign the marriage license as your witnesses, give a blessing before dinner, or just be guests.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    mysticl said:
    The only people who can be honorary bridesmaids are those who have passed away.  So if your friends and family members are still breathing then they are either BMs or they are just guests.
    Let me add those who cannot be there through no fault of their own to that.  For example a friend's sister ended up being deployed for the wedding so she was unable to attend but was still considered to be the MOH.  
    See even in that circumstance I wouldn't list her as honorary.  I would list her as a BM/MOH. Same if someone got sick at the last minute, gave birth, just couldn't make it.  I guess I always just consider "honorary" for someone who is no longer with us.

  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Buy them corsages to mark them as family members and leave it at that.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
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