Stamps on RSVP envelopes -- we messed up :o

cathysaurus · May 2014

So my fiance and I went through the arduous task of stuffing our wedding invites last night. In each envelope went the invite, protective vellum sheet, RSVP card and envelope, and a card with our wedding website address. It took two hours (my fiance is oddly slow at stuffing envelopes), but we got them all done and sealed! Yay, right?!?!

Today he texts me, "Did we put stamps on the return envelopes for the RSVP cards." I put my head down on my desk. We did not.

Help me out here with some advice on what to do. He wants to steam the dadgum things open and put stamps on the envelopes. I think this will ruin everything since water + paper = no. He suggested reordering the envelopes, but it would take several days to get them here and restuffed. So tell me this, do you think it's bad etiquette to send them out without stamps on the RSVP card envelopes?

My thought is that if I got an invite and the RSVP card envelope didn't have a stamp, I wouldn't think twice and would just put a stamp of my own on it. But I know there's variability in opinions on these things, so that's why I'm opening it up to the group. Tell me, what do you think of sending them out sans stamps?

smalfrie19 · May 2014

I received an invite last week that had no stamp for the RSVP, I kinda side eyed it myself, but I just put a stamp on it and sent it out.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

I'd probably be kind of surprised by it, but I'd slap a stamp on them (I carry a book in my wallet), send it back, and not think twice about it again.

Northrend · May 2014

Just send them out as-is, and then give stamps as favors at your wedding.

Inkdancer · May 2014

If you put envelopes in the freezer for a day, the sticky will unseal and you can open them again.

JCbride2015 · May 2014

Ermmm..... I would probably find a way to open them up again and put on stamps. I'd side-eye this as a guest, but then I'd probably forget about it. I also carry stamps in my wallet so it wouldn't be the end of the world. But I would indeed think it was weird.

tcnoble · May 2014

Like PPs said I would just put a stamp on it and not think twice. Definitely not something to stress about.

I'm just learning about all the invite processes and things that are involved. So do you put your return address on the outer invite envelope, and also address the RSVP envelope for guests? I know the label issue is a minor etiquette breach and more personal opinion...

Inkdancer · May 2014

tcnoble said:

Like PPs said I would just put a stamp on it and not think twice. Definitely not something to stress about.

I'm just learning about all the invite processes and things that are involved. So do you put your return address on the outer invite envelope, and also address the RSVP envelope for guests? I know the label issue is a minor etiquette breach and more personal opinion...

You want to go ahead and address the RSVP envelope to make sure they are addressed properly. The return address on the outer envelope can be hard to read. (Also it exists so the post office can return mail, so you definitely need it.)

cathysaurus · May 2014

Yes, our RSVP card envelopes are printed with our address.

We're honestly a little behind on sending these out (RSVP date is June 1st), otherwise I'd just order new envelopes without even thinking about it.

APDSS22 · May 2014

Try the freezer. I accidentally did this with the first 20 or so invites (then remembered before starting the second batch) and it really did work, although you have to be careful that the remaining sticky doesn't start tearing the envelope. You could also send them out as is since most people will forgive a missing stamp on the return envelope if the rest of your wedding is completely etiquette perfect.

cathysaurus · May 2014

APDSS22 said:

Try the freezer. I accidentally did this with the first 20 or so invites (then remembered before starting the second batch) and it really did work, although you have to be careful that the remaining sticky doesn't start tearing the envelope. You could also send them out as is since most people will forgive a missing stamp on the return envelope if the rest of your wedding is completely etiquette perfect.

Hm, this is the second suggestion of the freezer and I've never heard of it before! We'll have to try this tonight. I also agreed with my fiance to try steaming open one of the spare envelopes to see how that goes.

MrsMarende · May 2014

I would order new envelopes and resend them.

I plan to stamp ours not because of etiquette (although important) but I think you get more back and sooner. From someone who mails absolutely nothing, having to make an extra trip to buy one stamp during my hectic day will mean not responding until the last minute. If it was already stamped it would go out the day I got it.

buddysmom80 · May 2014

I would order new envelopes and just do a marathon of stuffing envelopes. Perhaps you can get express shipping for the envelopes?

AddieCake · May 2014

I would try the freezer thing first. And then I would just not worry about it if it doesn't work.

huskypuppy14 · May 2014

I think the stamp issue is very minor. Etiquette wise, I don't believe it's a big deal at all. Miss Manners thinks RSVP cards are gauche. Back in the day, people would RSVP on their own stationary.

I think your only problem would be people not RSVPing promptly or at all. They may keep forgetting because they have to get a stamp, and a lot of people don't have stamps because they pay everything online. It's hard to get people to send it back when there is a stamp on it already, so you may have a little more trouble.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

I would let it go. It may just mean more follow-up phone calls to people if you don't get responses by the deadline (people who don't keep stamps handy), but that seems like less work than opening and re-gluing all those envelopes.

ElcaB · May 2014

I wouldn't be overly upset at having to put a stamp on an envelope, but technically this is a faux pas on your part.

Both the freezer & blow dryer method work pretty well. My girlfriends and I recently experienced a similar situation while assembling my friend's invites and we blow-dried those bitches to fix the mistake. It worked like a charm.

laurenstlouis · May 2014

Both my FMIL and my cousin got married recently, and neither one included a stamp on the RSVP envelope (but then again, neither are really etiquette gurus, sooo...) I don't think it was a major issue for anyone, but I'm someone that never keeps stamps on them so it took me longer than usual to get the response cards back in the mail to them (obviously with FMIL it was easier, since she knew FI and I were obviously coming to her wedding!) If it were me, I'd do a "test run" with the freezer trick to see if it works; if it does, open them up and stamp them!

Good luck and sorry that happened, that's such a bummer!

Sugargirl1019 · May 2014

Freeze them or blow them and then sticker them (with a cute wedding sticker if it needs help sticking again)!!

mschristie123 · May 2014

I don't know... as a guest, I wouldn't even really think about it and just put a stamp on it. But if it were me as the bride, I would definitely order more envelopes. So maybe that just goes to show that the person planning the wedding cares more about those kinds of things than everyone else.

KGold80 · May 2014

Honestly, I wouldn't be bent out of shape at all if I received an RSVP envelope without a stamp. I keep a book of stamps handy anyway just in case, so it wouldn't be an issue for me. I don't think I'd worry about it, especially given that your invites are going out fairly late in relation to your RSVP deadline. Get those suckers in the mail and breathe a sigh of relief.

STARMOON44 · May 2014

Your reply date is June 1st? Go mail them right now!

sofakingmad · May 2014

As a guest, I wouldn't even think twice about it.

pinkshorts27 · May 2014

I would not care as a guest but since I never carry stamps, it would take me longer to rsvp

mysticl · May 2014

tcnoble said:

Like PPs said I would just put a stamp on it and not think twice. Definitely not something to stress about.

I'm just learning about all the invite processes and things that are involved. So do you put your return address on the outer invite envelope, and also address the RSVP envelope for guests? I know the label issue is a minor etiquette breach and more personal opinion...

I once did not RSVP to a wedding because they did not address the RSVP envelopes and I did not know the address to mail them to. The return address on the invites was for their venue. Turns out the venue was the bride's parents' house and it has a name. She opted to use the house's name on the return address instead of her own.

Bubblegum5586 · May 2014

These really need to get mailed out! I would try the freezer thing tonight and if it doesn't work then just send them!

ShallowSeas · May 2014

If the freezer thing doesn't work, I wouldn't even worry about it. Some guests may side-eye it, but its like the smallest side-eye ever. Its a stamp. Its not that big of a deal and if having to put their stamp on it really puts them out out then they have issues.

Grabows14 · May 2014

I received RSVPs without a stamp, I didn't really care though.

I would just send them out as-is. If your RSVP date is by June 1st, you don't really want to push it with opening and closing the envelopes. It would really suck if you ruined more envelopes than you had extra.

CamiSelene · May 2014

I wouldn't think twice about it. Stamps are cheap and I always have some with me. We put stamps on our but left stamps off of ones we gave to people we see on a daily basis (like coworkers, because they just handed their rsvp's back to us), people that lived in a different country (because they would need postage from their country), etc... and there was no way I would put a stamp on an rsvp for my roommate because well, duh, common sense. If I were you, I wouldn't stress about it.