Shower Gift: WWYD? *update with venting*

JCbride2015

FSIL's bridal shower is this Saturday.  I only just found out that I can definitely attend because of work, so I looked at their registries online today.  They have Target, Anthropologie, and Honeyfund (gross).  The Target registry is almost completely sold out of things that are available in-store, with only two or three items left and those are $300+.  There are several items available online at Target, but they don't offer rush shipping to get it before the shower.  There is no Anthropologie near where I live, but there is one near where the shower will be held on Saturday.  I refuse to use Honeyfund.

Options:

1) Buy something online from Target and have it shipped to their house.  Come empty-handed to the shower, but know they'll receive the gift at home next week.

2) Same as #1, but print out a picture of the item to put in a card for her to open at the shower.

3) Wait until I'm on my way to the shower, then stop at Anthropologie.  Hope none of the other guests do the same thing, because there are only like 8 things on the Anthropologie registry.

ETA: I guess there's a fourth option.  Just buy something totally not on the registry at all?

As a side note.  Both registries were extremely small to start with, and I'm annoyed because the easiest option for any guest at this point is to just give money to the Honeyfund.  Which I'm sure was the intent.  Barf.  Also, how awkward is this shower going to be with like a million Honeyfund cards?  Already went to one Honeyfund shower and it was basically the worst.

Having a tiny registry is fine, I'll just assume you want cash.  But then you shouldn't also be having a shower, with no boxed gift options.

****Friday morning

Ugh.  I just texted FMIL (the host of the shower) to explain I was able to get the class I'm teaching delayed, but not canceled.  So I will have to leave a little early.  She texts back, "I wish you could stay the whole time we have lots of fun games to play."

Seriously, I just inconvenienced a class full of 20 adult students so I can come to the shower.  Your only response should be "Thank you!  See ya tomorrow!"

/vent

SBmini

It's obvious that they want cash. I would just bring them cash. 

JCbride2015

SBmini said:

It's obvious that they want cash. I would just bring them cash. 

Yeah, it is obvious.  But bring cash to a shower?

lyndausvi

I would to option 2. That way you have something. Plus I'm sure the bride will appreciate one less thing to have take home.

blabla89

Get them a gift in your budget that you think they would appreciate. It doesn't have to be from the registry, although it would be convenient if it came from a store where they've registered.

ETA: Get it from a brick and mortar store so that you can present it at the shower (and save the cost of shipping)

KGold80

Go off registry and put together a nice gift basket of some kind?

JCbride2015

@lalalaurita and @KGold80 Yeah, they have a big backyard, so maybe we could do a basket of outdoor entertaining stuff?  And include a gift receipt from Target, so they can return it if they want.  I just don't know if the bride would be annoyed with that because it's off-registry, but I guess that's the risk you take when you have a 75-person shower with only like 20 registry items.

lyndausvi

funny I'm looking at SILs registry now. Not liking my options.

SBmini

JCBride2014 said:

SBmini said:

It's obvious that they want cash. I would just bring them cash. 

Yeah, it is obvious.  But bring cash to a shower?

I got a lot of cash at my shower because in my fiance's culture it's basically rude to give anything but cash. Different, I know, but it's how they operate. It was what I was expecting, so I didn't mind at all that it was how it ended up. 

If she wants cash, that is what I would give her. And if her shower is boring because all she does is open gift cards and cash, then that is her fault, not yours for following instructions. 

grumbledore

SBmini said:

It's obvious that they want cash. I would just bring them cash. 

Nope, not for a shower.  Absolutely no way under the sun I would do that.

Option 2 - order online and print a pic for the card.

daria24

Me personally, I would grab a Target GC for whatever amount I planned to spend on a gift and call it a day. I will admit I'm lazy. 

grumbledore

I was a BM in a wedding with a "honeymoon shower" - I gave the bride sunscreen bc fuck that noise.

chibiyui

I'd assemble a gift basket of some sort. I don't likr tobring cash to a shower.

JCbride2015

grumbledore said:

I was a BM in a wedding with a "honeymoon shower" - I gave the bride sunscreen bc fuck that noise.

Haha.  The "honeymoon shower" I went to was my first year out of college; I was starry-eyed and bushy-tailed, and I had no idea Honeyfund took a cut and then just gave them cash.  I was so excited to give them a trip to explore a volcano.

Then they took their honeymoon to some beach and told me when they got back all they did was lay in the sun and get tan, and Honeyfund just gave them a check and they're going to use it to pay their mortgage.

Never again.

lyndausvi

SBmini said:

It's obvious that they want cash. I would just bring them cash. 

I would sooner not attend a shower than to give cash.     

In my opinion, if you really do not need a physical gifts then why even have a shower?

emmyg65

I'd go off registry and choose a gift they'd probably like. 

KGold80

JCBride2014 said:

grumbledore said:

I was a BM in a wedding with a "honeymoon shower" - I gave the bride sunscreen bc fuck that noise.

Haha.  The "honeymoon shower" I went to was my first year out of college; I was starry-eyed and bushy-tailed, and I had no idea Honeyfund took a cut and then just gave them cash.  I was so excited to give them a trip to explore a volcano.

Then they took their honeymoon to some beach and told me when they got back all they did was lay in the sun and get tan, and Honeyfund just gave them a check and they're going to use it to pay their mortgage.

Never again.

'scuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor. Holy crap the audacity of some people....

blabla89

JCBride2014 said:

@lalalaurita and @KGold80 Yeah, they have a big backyard, so maybe we could do a basket of outdoor entertaining stuff?  And include a gift receipt from Target, so they can return it if they want.  I just don't know if the bride would be annoyed with that because it's off-registry, but I guess that's the risk you take when you have a 75-person shower with only like 20 registry items.

That sounds like a lovely idea. Unless the bride is a total gift-grabby SS, she shouldn't be annoyed that it's off-registry.

ElcaB

In this case, I'd purchase a Target gift card and call it a day. 

SBmini

SBmini said:

It's obvious that they want cash. I would just bring them cash. 

I would sooner not attend a shower than to give cash.     

In my opinion, if you really do not need a physical gifts then why even have a shower?

That's a good question for the bride who is having a shower with a purposely under populated registry! But she sounds like the sort of bride who would also not feign excitement to a well thought out give that wasn't on her registry, like a gift basket. I would rather take the easy route out and give her a crisp bill than waste my time on something thoughtful that she won't appreciate. Just my two cents here. I know a lot of people balk at the idea of giving cash, but a lot of people prefer it. It sounds like the bride is in the latter group.

pinkcow13

Can you buy something from the Anthropologie website and then pick it up at the store? That way you're assured no one will buy the item, and you can get it on your way.

Peaseblossom55

I would go with Option #2 as well. I went to a shower where most of the gifts were from a honyeyfund.  I got a physical gift I refused to give to a honeyfund, it was a boring shower.

kaos16

pinkcow13 said:

Can you buy something from the Anthropologie website and then pick it up at the store? That way you're assured no one will buy the item, and you can get it on your way.

That's what I was thinking too. . .. . call the store and have them put it on hold for you to pick up on Saturday.  It'll get taken off the registry and you'll have a physical gift to walk into the shower with.

In the alternative, where is this fancy guest funded honeymoon too?  If it's someplace warm and sunny I would put together a basket with sunscreen, towel, etc.  Stuff that is in theory great for their beach vacation, but probably too difficult to actually take with them, but that's because I'm a passive agressive brat.

JCbride2015

pinkcow13 said:

Can you buy something from the Anthropologie website and then pick it up at the store? That way you're assured no one will buy the item, and you can get it on your way.

@pinkcow13 I didn't know Anthropologie offered that service!  I don't see it when I try to check out with some of her registry items, though.  Do they only have it on certain things?

pinkcow13

Oh, I have no idea! I just figured most stores offered that, haha. Hmmm, well there goes that idea. In this case, I would probably go with #2 then.

JCbride2015

kaos16 said:

pinkcow13 said:

Can you buy something from the Anthropologie website and then pick it up at the store? That way you're assured no one will buy the item, and you can get it on your way.

That's what I was thinking too. . .. . call the store and have them put it on hold for you to pick up on Saturday.  It'll get taken off the registry and you'll have a physical gift to walk into the shower with.

In the alternative, where is this fancy guest funded honeymoon too?  If it's someplace warm and sunny I would put together a basket with sunscreen, towel, etc.  Stuff that is in theory great for their beach vacation, but probably too difficult to actually take with them, but that's because I'm a passive agressive brat.

@kaos16 They are staying at a family-owned home in Italy, with some excursions to other cities.

Just out of curiosity, I just looked at the Honeyfund.  Here is exactly what it includes:

Airline Miles 12 x $75

Accommodations 18 x $75

Dining 8 x $50

Beverages 25 x $10

Activities 2 x $50

That's literally everything, no details, no specific activities.  They are staying at a family home for free most of the vacation.  I'm side-eying this HARD.

littlemushroom

In this case, there are things on the Target registry you could get but they are online only, and it doesn't sound like you really want to show up empty handed.  So either go with a card and picture of what you got them, stop at Anthropologie the day of if it isn't really out of your way, or give cash.

I think it is relevant that they have things available on 2 different registries that you could get, but the logistics make it unrealistic (Target shipping and location of other store) due to when you were able to determine if you could attend.  I think it is perfectly acceptable to give cash in that case.

mschristie123

My vote is option #2. Someone did this at my shower. They sent the gift to my house, but I received a card with a little insert from BBB stating what the gift was.

HisGirlFriday13

Buy something off the registry and don't include a gift-receipt.

If you'd rather get cash, that's fine, but then you don't get a shower, too.

doeydo

I would buy something I thought the couple would like from a store in my area.

FutureMrsN3312

Giftcard to Target, cash, or something useful would be good to me.  ex:  FI's cousin got us folding chairs.  Not on the registry but a damn good gift that will come in handy.  I also got a wine basket and a basket made up of kcups for the keurig.  It was heavenly. 

Who doesn't need wine and coffee?  Especially while doing wedding shit...