Babies at nighttime movies?

JCbride2015

TL;DR: Family brings multiple crying infants to late night, violent movie and gets butthurt when they and their crying kids are jeered out of the theater. Then the dad tells me to "Choose a different movie" because, you know, it's my job to avoid his rudeness.

I am so pissed right now. Fi and I both had a hard day and I decided to take him out to see the Captain America movie (I know, we're super behind). The movie started at 10:10pm with previews, so the real movie didn't start till like 10:30. Pretty early in the movie, we heard a baby sort of babbling and talking. Nobody said anything for a little while, and the baby quieted down. Then it happened again... and again... and then the baby was crying. Mom brought the baby out into the hallway, then brought it back in. Soon enough the baby is crying again, she brings it out, then returns.... You get the drift. It also became clear there was more than one baby and they were all sitting together.

Probably the second time a baby cried, a few people started piping up. At first it was just "Well, excuse you!" or "Take the baby outside," then later on it escalated to a few people yelling "Shut that kid up!" I admit that I joined in with, "Your child does not belong in this movie!" Meanwhile the parents (probably embarrassed now) just sat there letting the baby cry. Finally two women, each holding a crying baby, got up and walked out of the theater. Practically the whole theater clapped and cheered.

After the movie, the group was hanging out outside the bathroom and Fi and I went to talk to them. It was a large extended family or group of friends, mostly 40-something parents, with literally 8 kids between them ranging from tiny infants, to toddlers, to maybe a 5-year-old. Fi was way angrier than me and started making snarky comments loudly to me within their hearing, like, "Wow, glad I spent $11 to hear a baby cry." I turned to the parents and said, "Do you realize how inconsiderate you are of everyone else in that theater?" A mom says, "But she brought the kid out." Me: "Yeah, but then brought her back in again and again and she kept crying. Once the kid starts crying, just leave!" The dad jumps in with: "It's not your business." Me: "Yes it is, once we pay for a ticket and you ruin the movie for the whole theater."

So the dad says: "So you should CHOOSE A DIFFERENT MOVIE. You won't teach me anything." Seriously WTF? You get to swagger all around the place being inconsiderate of everyone else, and the whole rest of the world is just supposed to avoid your assholery?

Out of respect because they did have their kids there and I had not interest in getting into a yelling match with strangers, I just said, "You're right. I won't teach you anything and you won't change. You'll just always be rude." and we walked away.

But really dude??? Seriously???? This is a movie that runs from 10:10pm-12:30am. It's an extremely violent, loud superhero movie full of explosions, machine guns, and loud sound effects. Why would you bring an infant to this movie?

I think sometimes it's okay if you think your kid will sleep through, and then the minute they start crying, you just decide you've forfeited your ticket and you leave. I can take a crying kid if you leave immediately. Meanwhile Fi thinks it's totally unacceptable to even try to see if your kid will sleep through at a 10pm movie. Regardless, I think these jerks were totally out of line. My blood is just boiling!

Drewsgirl31

I know I took my daughter to the movies when she was a baby but can't think of any off hand and my H, our friend, myself and our son who was just a few weeks old went to see Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. It was a late movie and we sat in the front sections back row so we could exit very quickly if need be. He ended up sleeping through the entire movie but had he cried or was fussy we would have left right away.

KytchynWitche

Ugh. I am so sorry your movie got ruined.

Last winter I went to see a show that my brother was playing in (Starlight Express). I dunno if any of you are theatre people, but SE is not exactly Sound of Music. It's very loud, lots of big, 'modern' numbers, and lights, and colours, and noise!

I went to see the 8pm show, which is really the latest any live show starts here because it's South Africa and people suck. I really was not expecting children in the audience. Average bedtime for toddlers here seems to be in the 6-7pm range, especially in winter. Anyway mother and grandmother come in, late, with kid in tow, about 2 or 3 years old. Kid proceeds to run up and down the aisle for the first two numbers. Did I mention she was wearing some sort of light-up party dress? Distraction for everyone. A few songs later, an usher went over to them. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but gran wrangled the kid. She was quiet for about 10 minutes, then started asking what was happening, very loudly, in Afrikaans. There was much shushing and the whole party disappeared shortly before interval.

This production had matinees, to which the kid could have been taken. The matinee tickets were cheaper than the evening tickets, the cheapest of which were R350. I got comped, so whatever, but I'm sure that most of the audience had to pay.

The bigger issue for me is, why would anyone take their child to see a musical in a language they don't understand and at an age when the plot of Dora the freaking Explorer taxes their attention span?! Surely mom knew kid was going to spend the entirety of the show asking loud questions about the story?

JCbride2015

Drewsgirl31 said:

I know I took my daughter to the movies when she was a baby but can't think of any off hand and my H, our friend, myself and our son who was just a few weeks old went to see Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. It was a late movie and we sat in the front sections back row so we could exit very quickly if need be. He ended up sleeping through the entire movie but had he cried or was fussy we would have left right away.

Yeah, this I'd be totally fine with.  Some kids will sleep through and that's fine.  As you said, once the kid gets fussy, you gotta go.  Meanwhile Fi takes a harder line and thinks nobody should even try to bring a kid to a movie that late.

@kytchynwitche That really sucks.  I actually wouldn't have been so shocked a kid was there at 8 (at least not as upset as 10pm), but the running up and down with lights?  Um, nopenopenope.

And I don't think parents bring infants/toddlers to plays or movies with any expectation they'll pay attention.  I think they just hope the kid will sleep and they save money on a babysitter.  I guess that works for a few babies, but I don't think you can bring a kid to a loud, violent movie like Captain America and expect the kid to sleep.  Maybe that works for some parents (like Drewsgirl) but I think most people just think their snowflake is going to be way better-behaved than reality.

AddieCake

I can't imagine bringing any child to a late night movie, and I always judge parents who do. Additionally, I feel if you have a child of any age in the theater at any time and he or she is talking, fussing, or crying, you should leave.

aspoonfulofsugar

I'm sorry, how frustrating for you on your night out. I went to see the last batman movie (uhh... The dark knight returns or something?) later on a Friday or Saturday night and there was a family next to us with young kids who COULD NOT sit still and got especially restless since the movie gets loud and violent. I am NOT okay with this for all the reasons PPs listed. I think it's inappropriate and disrespectful to other patrons, not to mention that it's not appropriate for kids to be at that kind of movie that late at night. Edited bc where did my paragraphs go?

B0320

I've actually left movies to get an usher when parents have been either incapable or unwilling to shut their kids up. If its a disney movie I'm totally expecting kids to fuss, if its a super hero movie I don't want to hear a peep out of them and if you're going to be rude I'll ask to have you removed from the theater.

HaileyDancingbear

Minimum age requirement for kids in movies:  Old enough to say "I want to leave/ I'm scared/ It's too loud." 

I'm sorry, for an infant that is friggin scary.  Imagine being in that situation.  You are in a strange place, you're tired (Because it's past when you'd usually be put to bed) so you're already cranky.  Then it gets dark and LOUD.  Explosions, yelling, gunshots, and you don't know how to keep up with a plot or wtf is going on so you're just freaking out because the weird noises are scaring you.  Screaming is your only method of conveying that, since you can't talk yet.  And your parents are IGNORING you.  You're stuck in the dark loud room screaming and you are being ignored, because your caregiver is an asshole, to you, and to everyone else in the theater. 

I think its just so fucking rude to allow your kids to scream through a movie and not remove them- You ruin it for everyone, for what, to not hear a movie and have an audience for your child's tantrum?  I imagine watching the movie when you're right next to the screaming kid ruins the experience just as much.  So you're ruining it for everyone and you're not even enjoying it.  Wait for the fucking DVD and watch it at home, at an acceptable hour when your kid isn't cranky.

Sugargirl1019

FI and I went to see Frozen when it first came out at a late showing. Two babies screamed and cried through the whole thing, mom sometimes walking out and walking in, pacing in the front aisle, and we were so annoyed. I understand this is a children's movie, but it still doesn't make it okay. A 2 month old isn't going to enjoy this. We were upset that people brought their babies to a late showing and let them scream and cry and distract us.

I'd rather a phone going off. At least it stops ringing.

KeptInStitches

Once the kid starts crying, the parent (and kid, obviously) should leave. Otherwise if the kid sleeps through, not a problem in my book.

JCbride2015

Hailey has a great point-- those poor kids must feel so confused and ignored!

I was blown away by the dad's comments that we should just "Choose another movie."  How am I supposed to do that once I already bought the ticket and sat down?  And why should I be the one responsible for getting away from you????

chkmeowt

i think infants are ok, if they are taken out once woken up. 

My bigger problem is with the other children who are out at movies that late - especially violent movies!  It's like when you go to wal-mart at midnight or 2am and there are parents there with their 4 year olds. WTF.

singinchick13

I agreed they should leave if the kid is crying....out of respect for the audience AND for the child's well-being. Obviously if he/she is crying something is wrong. DS is 7 months and we have never taken him to a movie, but he does great in loud restaurants....I don't really consider that the same thing, though.

I worked in a movie theatre as a teenager and had the pleasure of breaking up things like this. We had this beautiful thing called "theatre checks" where a staff member would hop from movie to movie checking that the sound and picture was ok, and also that no one in the audience was on their phone, putting their feet up on the seats, or otherwise interfering with other patrons' enjoyment of the movie. I worked the guest service counter often and would never bat an eyelash at someone wanting their money back because they had to leave with their crying baby. They would get a refund, no problem. And if something like this had been going on the whole movie we would have issued free passes to the rest of the guests to come back another time because we weren't able to make their current experience enjoyable.

doeydo

Some babies almost never cry.  My oldest sister never cried unless she was in pain.  So, no, I do not automatically think that people with babies should not go to late night movies.  But, it the baby (or young child) starts making noise then I think they should get them out of there quickly.

KGold80

Nope. Get a sitter. There is no good reason for a baby or very young child to be in a movie theater at 10:30pm.

themuffinman16

Never bring a child to a late night movie.  Adults are there at that hour because they want to get away from their kids.  Although, pouring a margarita or two will help you cope with kids at the movies.... so I am kind of torn.

lyndausvi

That is why I pretty much only attend over 21 theaters.  Never any crying babies, toddlers or unruly teens.   Plus they serve alcohol and food at your seat.  BOUNS!

Anyway, I get being annoyed.  I would also.  I just don't see the point of starting something with the offenders.  Those confrontations rarely end well.  If anything everyone ends up getting even more worked up.   I would just contact an usher and they get my money back.

I wish more movie theaters would impose age limits for the real late shows.   If the customer wants to go to an early show they can take their chances on kids being there.  If they want a guarantee then they can go to the later show.  Even in it is a Disney movie.

JCbride2015

lyndausvi said:

That is why I pretty much only attend over 21 theaters.  Never any crying babies, toddlers or unruly teens.   Plus they serve alcohol and food at your seat.  BOUNS!

Anyway, I get being annoyed.  I would also.  I just don't see the point of starting something with the offenders.  Those confrontations rarely end well.  If anything everyone ends up getting even more worked up.   I would just contact an usher and they get my money back.

I wish more movie theaters would impose age limits for the real late shows.   If the customer wants to go to an early show they can take their chances on kids being there.  If they want a guarantee then they can go to the later show.  Even in it is a Disney movie.

We have one of these about an hour from our house and it is just the best.  Unfortunately it's too far to go for a regular occurrence (we'd have to be out that way to begin with), but I love the combo food and movie experience!

I normally wouldn't confront somebody, but I was SO annoyed and there were literally 8 kids with them.  It was so ridiculous.  I kept my voice down and was respectful though.  I just felt like I had to say something.

pinkcow13

That's annoying. I don't have kids but personally I would get a sitter for a late night movie, even if the kid were to sleep through it. I just wouldn't want to take the chance. My cousin and I had a big discussion about this around the time the dark knight movie incident happened.

One time FI and I went to watch a movie (I think it was cloverfield) and it was a late show, I think around 11. There was some little kid about 3 years old, sitting next to me, and before the movie started he kept calling me a "Mombie!" And zapping me with his finger gun. He was surprisingly well behaved during the movie, because I was wary that he was going to get even louder during the movie.

SmileDamnit

lyndausvi said:

That is why I pretty much only attend over 21 theaters.  Never any crying babies, toddlers or unruly teens.   Plus they serve alcohol and food at your seat.  BOUNS!

Anyway, I get being annoyed.  I would also.  I just don't see the point of starting something with the offenders.  Those confrontations rarely end well.  If anything everyone ends up getting even more worked up.   I would just contact an usher and they get my money back.

I wish more movie theaters would impose age limits for the real late shows.   If the customer wants to go to an early show they can take their chances on kids being there.  If they want a guarantee then they can go to the later show.  Even in it is a Disney movie.

This!! We almost exclusively see movies at Alamo Drafthouse now because of that. And not just for the 21+, but because they strictly enforce no talking from anyone & there is a no cell phone rule. And they are very strict about it. 

afox007

I dot kinda as long as the parents leave when the baby gets fussy. If they wait until the actual crying starts its already too late. My parents and I used to go to movies with my siblings as babies all the time and would tag team it, first whimper and one of us was out the door.

WinstonsGirl

I don't care if the kid is quiet, but I'll judge young kid at late/inappropriate films.  Take your kid to bed.  It's one of the things you have to make concessions on now that you're a parent.  Our theatres also offer a "Strollers and Stars" seatings, usually matinees, with lower volume specifically for parents and young kids.  It's basically a way parents can see movies with other parents and young kids where it's ok if the kids  cry, cos everyone there is expecting it.  You've got a special movies time.  Use it and don't interrupt my more expensive time where there shouldn't be young kids

ktjanesmom

Why not just get management and let them deal with it.  I fear getting into spats with strangers.

RebeccaB88

Absolutely not, no attempt to take them, don't even consider it. In fact, I'd fully support and patronize a theater that had a rule of no kids under a certain age for showings after a certain time. Kids are unpredictable, especially, as PP pointed out, when there's loud noise and scary things going on. Even the best behaved ones can act out when scared or tired. Hell, *I'm* cranky at midnight because I'm tired. I don't want to go to a movie then.

I wish we had 21 and up theaters here. There's a ban on age discrimination in place. Only way they could get away with doing that is to make the whole place a bar, and that would never fly. Too much Bible Belt influence.

monkeysip

I thought it was strange when I went to see Catching Fire, and a lady brought her newborn in a stroller, and just left the stroller and baby near the front side of the theater.  The movie seemed extraordinarily loud to me, so I always wonder if that hurts baby's hearing at all.  I'd also feel uncomfortable having my baby 20 feet away from me, like I wouldn't even be able to enjoy the movie I'd be worried about her the whole time.

But I'm not a mom yet (due soon), so maybe I'm wrong and that's a perfectly fine thing to do with your child.

grumbledore

I think as long as they leave if the baby is crying/disruptive it's fine - babies don't sleep the same as adults, so I don't judge people for having a baby out with them late.  Toddlers and little kids, keep them home, they should have a normal sleep schedule.

lmcooper86

I don't care if the baby is quiet, but as soon as they start crying they should leave. I do fully side eye parents who bring young children to late and/or inappropriate movies though.

Last night BF and I went to see the new Spiderman movie with my sister and her BF. A large family sat in front of us, with 3 boys who were probably between 6 and 8 years old. The kid right in front of us would not stop talking! My BF eventually leaned forward and asked them to please be quiet because they were disturbing us. The dad got his back up right away and started arguing that "He's just a kid, he doesn't understand the movie and has questions! He's my kid I have a right to answer his questions!" If your kid doesn't understand and can't be quiet, maybe you should have picked another movie!!

I eventually had to threaten to get a manager because they would not shut up. They shot us dirty looks the whole way out after the movie. Ugh.

HobokensFury

My kid is going to be a teenager before he goes to late night movies! DH and I enjoy going to the movies and don't plan to bring the baby ( unless it's a morning kids movie) to the theater until he's 5 or 6. We actually didn't go see Spider Man 2 this weekend because we didn't have a sitter.

Angusaur

I discussed this recently somewhere else. I think maybe on a mom page on facebook. All the sanctimommys basically said if you're a mom you should be more understanding. You should understand sometimes the only way a couple can get out is with their baby and why should they lose out on their money and have to leave. I am a mom. I didn't take our son to his first movie until 1 month ago. HE'S FIVE. (Funny enough, we took him to see Captain America also!)

I waited until he was old and mature enough to sit for 2 hours quietly and not disturb other people. That's not to say you can't take your young baby especially if you think they'll just sleep. But once they start crying, screaming, babbling, disturbing other paying customers, one of the parents needs to step out and try to calm the child and quiet them down. If that doesn't work, they should leave.

Sorry, their night out is not my problem. And to think everyone else should have to suffer because they shelled out $20 to see a movie is just incredibly selfish.

PrincessOfHavoc

I know my SIL took her son to movies as a very young infant. Once he started getting fussy, she stopped. But when he was 3 months old, put his shooting muffs on, drive him to sleep - he'd be out until 2 am meal time.

Saw a very upset toddler at Sweeney Todd because THAT'S just what kids want to see after bedtime. Screw the manager, I called CPS. It's R rated for a reason, if the kid is screaming no no no at the start until you tell her to shut up before you punch her in the mouth, I have all kinds of reasons to make the call. I was not the only caller.

Angusaur

Oh wait, I lied. I've taken my son to the drive in a million times, because he's in my car and the only people he's annoying is us. I waited until 5 to take him to the indoor theater though.