Pregnant Bridesmaid subsitute?

lizzaford

Hi. I'm getting married in October and one of my bridesmaids will be 8 months pregnant and not able to travel. I am thrilled for her and it's no big deal that she can't make it for my wedding. My fiance suggested that I ask his sister to replace my friend as a bridesmaid. A little background on the sister- I have met her about three times (she lives about 5 hours away), she has said a total of 10 words to me I think, she did not grow up in the same house with my fiance (she's adopted from his father and step-mother), and they are 10 years apart and not very close. She's nice enough but I don't get the sense that she cares either way if she's involved in our wedding, which she is not at this point. I need some advice on how to tell my fiance that I don't think I would feel comfortable having her as a bridesmaid, as it's my nearest and dearest friends, and would really just like to leave the spot empty. I don't want to hurt his feelings. Help, please!!

HaileyDancingbear

lizzaford said:

Hi. I'm getting married in October and one of my bridesmaids will be 8 months pregnant and not able to travel. I am thrilled for her and it's no big deal that she can't make it for my wedding. My fiance suggested that I ask his sister to replace my friend as a bridesmaid. A little background on the sister- I have met her about three times (she lives about 5 hours away), she has said a total of 10 words to me I think, she did not grow up in the same house with my fiance (she's adopted from his father and step-mother), and they are 10 years apart and not very close. She's nice enough but I don't get the sense that she cares either way if she's involved in our wedding, which she is not at this point. I need some advice on how to tell my fiance that I don't think I would feel comfortable having her as a bridesmaid, as it's my nearest and dearest friends, and would really just like to leave the spot empty. I don't want to hurt his feelings. Help, please!!

I think the bold is put pretty well, if he still tries to get you to add in the sister, just say that it's considered rude to replace a bridesmaid- You don't want to risk hurting your friend's feelings because replacing her sends a message that she's just interchangeable, which she absolutely isn't, and you don't want to risk hurting his sister's feelings because adding her in at this point sends a message that she's just an afterthought. 

AddieCake

Yeah, just tell him it would be inappropriate. If he wanted her in the WP, he should have asked her already to stand on his own side.

HisGirlFriday13

Don't find a substitute for her. You're not casting roles in a play, you're choosing your nearest and dearest to stand up with you.

If you're not close to your FSIL, then don't ask her. If your FI wants her involved, he could have asked her to stand up on his side, or asked her to do a reading or something.

But if the WP on both sides has already been chosen, asking her now is going to look like an after-thought.

Viczaesar

You should never replace a wedding party member.