Head table - not including SOs?

itslizzyC

Simply Fated said:

itslizzyC said:

FiancB said:

LadyMillil said:

I wanted to do a sweetheart table but DH wanted a head table without SOs because "that is what everyone does". When I sat down with him and talked about our WP and their SOs I was able to convince him that everyone needed to sit with their social unit. BIL was coming in from overseas with his GF that doesn't speak very much English. The only people that speak the same language as her fluently are BIL, DH and FIL. So, if she wasn't seated with BIL she would have to sit with FIL and a bunch of people that don't speak her language, so she could only talk to FIL. BM had a 3 week old baby at our wedding. If she was at a head table and her husband and son were at another table it makes it very difficult for both her and her husband to care for the baby.

We only had 4 people in our WP so it was very easy to seat all WP members with their social unit at the head table. I found it very awkward sitting at a head table because I was basically on display while eating. 

That's kind of where I'm at as well. All of the weddings in our circle have separated head tables. It was awkward for me at the first wedding we went to because I didn't know anyone, but now I know them and it's not really a huge deal- it's a group of girls that all hang out together without the guys anyway. I still don't want to do it though. 

My ideal would be a big table with everyone included, but I think that will be kind of impossible because I'm pretty sure that not only do most people in our WP have SOs, but many have kids too. My sister has her husband and 5 kids. Obviously I can't seat the kids on their own, and if I seat them there too than like 20% of our guest list is going to be at the "head table" and it just gets the point of ridiculousness.

So I think a sweetheart table's probably the only way it's going to work. We'll see though. 

This is our same issue. We decided to do a sweetheart table. However I just told my FMIL and she seems upset we're not doing a head table. I explained that it was too much and too many people with SOs. However she suggested to not include SOs. So I explained it is rude and against etiquette but she got all upset and said "well it's your wedding party and their SOs aren't part of the wedding party like it or not. No one wants to see all the SOs sitting at the head table just the bridal party." To which I explained its a social event and should be enjoyed together. To which she responded well it's just dinner they wouldn't be sitting together for. (But she's being VERY particular about where HER aunts and uncles are seated that I've never met and my FI hardly knows)
But she and my FFIL also totally expect us to do a dollar dance. (Totally not happening!)

Sorry for the rant! I just had to get it off my chest! I just hope they can all be happy and this doesn't all ruin our relationship.

Her logic is completely flawed...
First bolded part... no one really wants to see anyone but the bride and groom. Furthermore, we're not talking about show ponies here. We're talking about human beings. And apparently FMIL likes to watch people eat, which is weird in it's own way. But what ever.

Second bolded part... Dinner is the precise time couples should be sitting together. And it's not JUST dinner. It's the whole time before the ceremony, the actual ceremony, usually the cocktail hour, the toasts (if there are any) the first dance, the appetizers, sometimes the cake cutting... That's not JUST dinner they are apart for. Also, what about dessert?
And, what if they just want to sit while everyone else is dancing, but so does everyone else at the SO's table? Do they awkwardly move to another table that has open seats? Should they just sit up at the Head table or would the SO get shooed away by the FMIL?



Haha yes to everything! It blows my mind that she doesn't think it's rude. In her defense though (by NO means do I think she's correct) it is just dinner. The ceremony is at a Catholic Church and then the hotel for the reception. The cocktail hour begins with appetizers and then after that the doors to the hall open and people are seated for dinner. Then we hope and expect to see most people on the dance floor!