I'll start out by saying hi, I may be new to this board, but not new to internet boards, so, thick skin- yes. Crazy- yes. Cred here- none yet, I know that comes with time. Also, it seems impossible for me to say anything in a sentence that I can't string out into a novel, so I apologize that I do ramle a bit.
Back story- manpanion (we feel too old to call him bf, so that's my title for him) and I are coming up on out 2nd (3rd?) anniversary dating in just a few days. We've known we will eventually get married since about 6 months into dating (we've known each other 5 or 6 years.) he is awesome, everything I could hope for in a partner and future husband. We have been living together for just about a year with 2 fur babies (dog and rabbit.)
The issue: (warning- I already know I am being crazy and a little impatient. This is part rant part cry for help and mostly venting to people I'm sure have been in my position.) I am ready to just get this wedding business over with. He has had my engagement ring for over a year, and it's not on my finger yet. He has said that I can start tentative planning (looking at venues, pricing, setting a gameplan) but I feel crazy doing so when I don't have that silly ring and I can't tell certain people that we are engaged (I know, a ring does not = an engagement, but one of "the rules" is no planning with family till it's truly "official" yes, rules are silly, but they do keep us more sane) so, I've realized I'm at a catch 22, I can't really set a budget or find a venue without a tentative number of guests. I can't get a tentative number of guests because his answer to who do you want to invite is "you know my friends, and you need to talk to my mom about family later." Yes, I've come to realize that this is his way of telling me I can start planning without any pressure on him of it going anywhere. Have I mentioned we are both passive aggressive and it's honestly one of the things I love most about him because we are so honest about it and it becomes a joke? Sigh. So, I bring up ideas (for dates: maybe close to our anniversary? Maybe 51615? A Saturday, palendrome and we started dating on 5/13? ) or, I found this cute venue, what do you think? He sighs, tells me I'm a crazy person, and that he loves how excited I am to spend my life with him. I know the reason I don't have that ring yet is that he wants to talk to my dad. Admirable- yes. But that will be easy. On thanksgiving manpanion told my dad he wanted to go out for drinks and my dad got beyond excited. Like, "is it that kind of going out for drinks? You know my answer is already yes, can we go now?" Kind of excited. They've gone out together a few times since then, and nothing.
Now, normally I'm not one to rush things, and I know I stress both of us out thinking this way, and I also reiterate that I am crazy. My younger sister announced her engagement to her on again off again bf in August. She says it will be a long engagement, but as sudden as the engagement was, I don't know if I believe her. I do not want to plan around her. Nothing (well, honestly not MUCH) to do with I'm older me first, more she will think in stepping on her toes if my wedding is in the same year, so I want to pick a date first. Also, manpanions mom is sick, and seems to be giving up. We have agreed she needs big things to look forward to, helping to plan a wedding would really help keep her spirits up and keep her fighting. She is an awesome person and I know we both want her at our wedding. We do need to pick up the pace if that's going to happen, as much as I don't want it to be.
I try to keep the wedding conversations to a minimum (maybe once or twice a week? Sometimes more, sometimes less) but I just want to get it over with now, and really, I feel like I'll be able to calm down once I get that darned ring on my finger!
Also- throwing this out there, I was not snooping finding the ring. He had sent me some pictures to gage my taste, then once we moved into our house he asked me to check for some money he had squirreled away in a box that he keeps special things in while he was at work. Well, the money was right next to a tiny ring box, and one of the rings he had sent a picture of was sitting in that box. It is absolutely perfect.
So, moral of the story, am I already to the point of nagging, or still (as it is in my head) just friendly ribbing and encouragement? Am I as crazy as I think I am or just overly excited? I really do hope he is just teasing when he says that the more I bug him the longer he will wait, but since he's had the ring over a year, I'm not quite sure...
End rant. Thanks for reading. Gold stars if you actually read the whole thing. Thanks so much in advance for any advice, obviously I need it. And I'll attach the picture of the ring so y'all see what I'm so excited about.