In a New Town

Britni&Bobby

I moved to a completely new town a few months ago to be with my, now, fiance. The only people I know in this town are his family members and his guy friends that he grew up with. My mom lives six hours away and all of my bridesmaids live all over the country (I'm in Nebraska, they're in California, Kansas, Texas). How much can I expect them to help? I feel bad asking for any travelling, since we're all still poor college graduates. I'm also starting a highly intensive year-long graduate program soon, that is supposed to help me get into medical school, so I'm really stressed out about trying to do everything myself.

I'm tempted to ask my fiance's sister for some help with some smaller things but we're really not close enough that I'd want to ask her to be my bridesmaid. Is it wrong to ask her for help but not give her a "bridesmaid" title?

mschristie123

That sucks that you're in a new town and don't know a ton of people yet. PPs are right, there are really no requirements for a bridesmaid other than to just show and stand by your side on your wedding day.

That being said, what do you need help with? What do you feel like you can't tackle by yourself or with your fiance? My friends are spread all across the country and for half of our engagement, FI and I were doing long distance. It's tough planning a wedding, but certainly not impossible to do on your own.

HisGirlFriday13

Britni&Bobby said:

I moved to a completely new town a few months ago to be with my, now, fiance. The only people I know in this town are his family members and his guy friends that he grew up with. My mom lives six hours away and all of my bridesmaids live all over the country (I'm in Nebraska, they're in California, Kansas, Texas). How much can I expect them to help? I feel bad asking for any travelling, since we're all still poor college graduates. I'm also starting a highly intensive year-long graduate program soon, that is supposed to help me get into medical school, so I'm really stressed out about trying to do everything myself.

I'm tempted to ask my fiance's sister for some help with some smaller things but we're really not close enough that I'd want to ask her to be my bridesmaid. Is it wrong to ask her for help but not give her a "bridesmaid" title?

1. Not at all. The only duties of any WP members are to get the right attire and show up on time and sober. All the planning is on you and your FI.

2. Yes, it's absolutely wrong to expect someone to help you other than your FI, but it's especially wrong when you're not close enough to ask her to be a BM, just close enough to ask her for help.

JMalettas

1. Not at all. The only duties of any WP members are to get the right attire and show up on time and sober. All the planning is on you and your FI.

 I should have apparently highlighted & sent this memo to one of my BMs, who went off the deep end, during the time we were engaged. (After I had already asked her to be in my wedding party). Thank goodness she didn't make a scene, & guests had no idea, but the bridal party knew what was up. :S (Who does that)???? *face palm* 

 *J 

jneen101

Get your fiance to help you.  That's what I did and it's been working out AMAZINGLY!!!  

AddieCake

What is it you need help with? I planned my entire wedding with next to no help. I simply do not understand what some of you need so much help with. 

Britni&Bobby

I never had requirements in mind for my bridesmaids- I did word that poorly. They have all asked for ways that they can help and I was looking for realistic things that they could do from a distance. As for my soon to be sister in law- I just wanted someone to go dress shopping with since I don't know anyone around here and needed help getting addresses from that side of the family. Thanks for the suggestion of having my fiancé help more.