Invitation addressed to myself and FI...

bananasplit472001

I just received an invitation to my twin SISTER's PPD that is being thrown by her FI parents.  The wedding is in 2 1/2 weeks but the PPD is in July.  His parents addressed my invitation to Ms.bananasplit and FIancee.  I can't help but be a little offended because this is my sister's PPD we are talking about.  Couldn't they have written the name of my FI?  Is this proper etiquette and I am just offended for no reason?

KGold80

Whoa. They didn't even invite him by name? YES, I would be offended if it were my FI.

VulgarGirl

Wait...they actually just put Fiancee? Yeah, no that's rude. Find out the person's fucking name. I mean, they just have to look at their FDIL and say "Whats the name of the guy you're sister is marrying?" it's pretty simple.

Northrend

The simple solution here is to forever address gifts and invitations to them as Mrs. Bananasplit's Twin sister and "Husband".  

bananasplit472001

I am so angry! I hope that they put their friends boyfriends and girlfriends as "and guest". I also thought of that when they get my wedding invitation next year it will say and husband!

bananasplit472001

MagicInk said:

Wait...they actually just put Fiancee? Yeah, no that's rude. Find out the person's fucking name. I mean, they just have to look at their FDIL and say "Whats the name of the guy you're sister is marrying?" it's pretty simple.

Yes they literally put and Fiancee! What's worse is that the response cards are addressed to my sister's new address!

blabla89

bananasplit472001 said:

I am so angry! I hope that they put their friends boyfriends and girlfriends as "and guest". I also thought of that when they get my wedding invitation next year it will say and husband!

I suppose "and guest" doesn't bother me all that much - I've always taken it to mean that if FI couldn't attend, I would be welcome to bring anyone else so I wouldn't have to go alone. Which is nice when I have to drive a long way to the wedding or won't know many people there.

But to specifically invite the person you're planning to marry and not give him a name? I can't even...I'd be livid. So that still leaves the issue of the PPD. Are you at least invited to the real wedding?

bananasplit472001

lalalaurita said:

bananasplit472001 said:

I am so angry! I hope that they put their friends boyfriends and girlfriends as "and guest". I also thought of that when they get my wedding invitation next year it will say and husband!

I suppose "and guest" doesn't bother me all that much - I've always taken it to mean that if FI couldn't attend, I would be welcome to bring anyone else so I wouldn't have to go alone. Which is nice when I have to drive a long way to the wedding or won't know many people there.

But to specifically invite the person you're planning to marry and not give him a name? I can't even...I'd be livid. So that still leaves the issue of the PPD. Are you at least invited to the real wedding?

Yes, I am invited to the real wedding as I am my sisters maid of honor.  My sister only wanted her destination wedding with just close family.  His parents did not like that and since they can afford it decided to throw a party after the fact with over 200 people (mostly their friends).

AddieCake

bananasplit472001 said:

 What's worse is that the response cards are addressed to my sister's new address!

What's wrong with that?

Kauris

bananasplit472001 said:

 What's worse is that the response cards are addressed to my sister's new address!

What's wrong with that?

Addie, if I'm inferring correctly, it implies her sister is hosting and should have had some input in the invitations, therefore her fiancé's name should have been on the envelope.

bananasplit472001

kasmith1 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

 What's worse is that the response cards are addressed to my sister's new address!

What's wrong with that?

Addie, if I'm inferring correctly, it implies her sister is hosting and should have had some input in the invitations, therefore her fiancé's name should have been on the envelope.

Yes, that is exactly what it means.

sophhabobopha

That is beyond weird!

kmmssg

Yes, it wasn't proper and I get being annoyed, but I do NOT get being "so angry" over this.  It is a PPD, are you really expecting awesome etiquette?  Yes, "& Fiance" is incorrect but why spend so much emotion over being so angry about it?  Say you are accepting and mail the card back.

I mailed my DD's invitations last week and made call after call regarding the truly single people who were invited with "and guest" to see if anything had changed since the list was initially done, if anyone had an SO.  I hope we didn't make any mistakes in that but I did the best I could and checked and rechecked.  If someone ends up so angry, I can't help it.

Also keep this in mind - we are all sitting here on the E board espousing how much we know about etiquette and proper things to do for a wedding.  Every person here learned a lot when they got here.  if your sister's FIL's don't spend time researching etiquette and this is what has been accepted in their family they have no idea they did anything wrong.  

cbabybear

I just received an invitation to a very good friends wedding addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Last Name" I was a little irked by it... my fiance and I aren't married yet, nor will we be at the time of their wedding. Question though: The RSVP being returned to the brides address? Is this really a big deal? I was planning on it, because I know my parent's don't want 100 RSVP cards sent to their house, nor do I since I'm managing the guest list and things are sure to get lost along the way. (The invitation does say Mr. and Mrs. Brides parents request...")

HisGirlFriday13

cbabybear said:

I just received an invitation to a very good friends wedding addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Last Name" I was a little irked by it... my fiance and I aren't married yet, nor will we be at the time of their wedding.

Question though: The RSVP being returned to the brides address? Is this really a big deal? I was planning on it, because I know my parent's don't want 100 RSVP cards sent to their house, nor do I since I'm managing the guest list and things are sure to get lost along the way. (The invitation does say Mr. and Mrs. Brides parents request...")

That's fine. The RSVPs should go to whomever is managing the list.

lyndausvi

kmmssg said:

Yes, it wasn't proper and I get being annoyed, but I do NOT get being "so angry" over this.  It is a PPD, are you really expecting awesome etiquette?  Yes, "& Fiance" is incorrect but why spend so much emotion over being so angry about it?  Say you are accepting and mail the card back.

I mailed my DD's invitations last week and made call after call regarding the truly single people who were invited with "and guest" to see if anything had changed since the list was initially done, if anyone had an SO.  I hope we didn't make any mistakes in that but I did the best I could and checked and rechecked.  If someone ends up so angry, I can't help it.

Also keep this in mind - we are all sitting here on the E board espousing how much we know about etiquette and proper things to do for a wedding.  Every person here learned a lot when they got here.  if your sister's FIL's don't spend time researching etiquette and this is what has been accepted in their family they have no idea they did anything wrong.  

THIS.

This type of thing is way down on my list of things to care about.  Sure it would get an eye-roll, but not put me into the anger emotion.    

ashleyep

bananasplit472001 said:

MagicInk said:

Wait...they actually just put Fiancee? Yeah, no that's rude. Find out the person's fucking name. I mean, they just have to look at their FDIL and say "Whats the name of the guy you're sister is marrying?" it's pretty simple.

Yes they literally put and Fiancee! What's worse is that the response cards are addressed to my sister's new address!

Did they write Fiance or Fiancee? It would be even funnier if they used two Es since that implies a woman.

bananasplit472001

lyndausvi said:

kmmssg said:

Yes, it wasn't proper and I get being annoyed, but I do NOT get being "so angry" over this.  It is a PPD, are you really expecting awesome etiquette?  Yes, "& Fiance" is incorrect but why spend so much emotion over being so angry about it?  Say you are accepting and mail the card back.

I mailed my DD's invitations last week and made call after call regarding the truly single people who were invited with "and guest" to see if anything had changed since the list was initially done, if anyone had an SO.  I hope we didn't make any mistakes in that but I did the best I could and checked and rechecked.  If someone ends up so angry, I can't help it.

Also keep this in mind - we are all sitting here on the E board espousing how much we know about etiquette and proper things to do for a wedding.  Every person here learned a lot when they got here.  if your sister's FIL's don't spend time researching etiquette and this is what has been accepted in their family they have no idea they did anything wrong.  

THIS.

This type of thing is way down on my list of things to care about.  Sure it would get an eye-roll, but not put me into the anger emotion.    

I am no longer angry about it.  I wrote the post about 5 minutes after i received the invitation.  Not my proudest moment.  I am really frustrated that they are having a second wedding to begin with.  Her in-laws are also pretentious and insisted on having this party to show off to their friends.  So in my conclusions it wouldn't have killed them to write the name of my FI as it is very likely they will be seeing him at family events, involving my sister, for the rest of their lives.

bananasplit472001

cbabybear said:

I just received an invitation to a very good friends wedding addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Last Name" I was a little irked by it... my fiance and I aren't married yet, nor will we be at the time of their wedding. Question though: The RSVP being returned to the brides address? Is this really a big deal? I was planning on it, because I know my parent's don't want 100 RSVP cards sent to their house, nor do I since I'm managing the guest list and things are sure to get lost along the way. (The invitation does say Mr. and Mrs. Brides parents request...")

No it is not a big deal after re-evaluating the situation..  It was an "in-the-moment" freak-out.  I thought that my sister should have provided how she wanted the invitations address to her in-laws.  She actually did and they chose not to acknowledge her wording and wrote out the invites however they chose.  

lyndausvi

bananasplit472001 said:

lyndausvi said:

kmmssg said:

Yes, it wasn't proper and I get being annoyed, but I do NOT get being "so angry" over this.  It is a PPD, are you really expecting awesome etiquette?  Yes, "& Fiance" is incorrect but why spend so much emotion over being so angry about it?  Say you are accepting and mail the card back.

I mailed my DD's invitations last week and made call after call regarding the truly single people who were invited with "and guest" to see if anything had changed since the list was initially done, if anyone had an SO.  I hope we didn't make any mistakes in that but I did the best I could and checked and rechecked.  If someone ends up so angry, I can't help it.

Also keep this in mind - we are all sitting here on the E board espousing how much we know about etiquette and proper things to do for a wedding.  Every person here learned a lot when they got here.  if your sister's FIL's don't spend time researching etiquette and this is what has been accepted in their family they have no idea they did anything wrong.  

THIS.

This type of thing is way down on my list of things to care about.  Sure it would get an eye-roll, but not put me into the anger emotion.    

I am no longer angry about it.  I wrote the post about 5 minutes after i received the invitation.  Not my proudest moment.  I am really frustrated that they are having a second wedding to begin with.  Her in-laws are also pretentious and insisted on having this party to show off to their friends.  So in my conclusions it wouldn't have killed them to write the name of my FI as it is very likely they will be seeing him at family events, involving my sister, for the rest of their lives.

***  STUCK IN BOX

Hey, at least they know you are engaged.   I would be surprised if any of my sibling's in-laws would know my husband's name.    They have never met him.  Until one of my nieces or nephews get married and we are all invited to the wedding, they will not met him either.

Don't get me wrong, it's really lazy on their part.  Add in the whole PPD thing, and well would you expect anything less?

bananasplit472001

lyndausvi said:

bananasplit472001 said:

lyndausvi said:

kmmssg said:

Yes, it wasn't proper and I get being annoyed, but I do NOT get being "so angry" over this.  It is a PPD, are you really expecting awesome etiquette?  Yes, "& Fiance" is incorrect but why spend so much emotion over being so angry about it?  Say you are accepting and mail the card back.

I mailed my DD's invitations last week and made call after call regarding the truly single people who were invited with "and guest" to see if anything had changed since the list was initially done, if anyone had an SO.  I hope we didn't make any mistakes in that but I did the best I could and checked and rechecked.  If someone ends up so angry, I can't help it.

Also keep this in mind - we are all sitting here on the E board espousing how much we know about etiquette and proper things to do for a wedding.  Every person here learned a lot when they got here.  if your sister's FIL's don't spend time researching etiquette and this is what has been accepted in their family they have no idea they did anything wrong.  

THIS.

This type of thing is way down on my list of things to care about.  Sure it would get an eye-roll, but not put me into the anger emotion.    

I am no longer angry about it.  I wrote the post about 5 minutes after i received the invitation.  Not my proudest moment.  I am really frustrated that they are having a second wedding to begin with.  Her in-laws are also pretentious and insisted on having this party to show off to their friends.  So in my conclusions it wouldn't have killed them to write the name of my FI as it is very likely they will be seeing him at family events, involving my sister, for the rest of their lives.

***  STUCK IN BOX

Hey, at least they know you are engaged.   I would be surprised if any of my sibling's in-laws would know my husband's name.    They have never met him.  Until one of my nieces or nephews get married and we are all invited to the wedding, they will not met him either.

Don't get me wrong, it's really lazy on their part.  Add in the whole PPD thing, and well would you expect anything less?

That is true.  But they have met him many times and will actually see him again this Saturday for a family dinner at my sister's house.  So I really do not think they have much of an excuse at this point.  I probably should not expect anything less since this PPD is exactly like a wedding with formal shots and entrances and all the other stuff.

kitsunegari89

uuuugh PPDs...The obvious solution here is to gift her a beautiful collection of butt plugs and vibrators at her shower. Make sure one of the vibrators is turned on before you put the lid on the box. That ought to do it. What a twat. But IRL, I'd take the moral high ground. I'd only think about seeking revenge in my own head for therapeutic value.