I got assigned...

theartistformerlyknownas

...to program duty at SS's wedding tomorrow. You may now all refer to me as "basket." That's what I've been reduced to.

JennyColada

It could be worse, you could be the manager of the program-hander-outers.

Which would make you…

A basket case.

beethery

I really wish you had time to get some kind of basket-inspired fascinator to wear during your basket duty.

theartistformerlyknownas

beethery said:

I really wish you had time to get some kind of basket-inspired fascinator to wear during your basket duty.

OMG I TOTALLY would have done this if she hadn't sprung this "honor" on me at the end of the rehearsal dinner!

beethery

Depending on how early you have to be there for basket duty, you could always hot glue a mini basket (filled with flowers that are matchy to the wedding colors) from Michaels or AC Moore onto a headband really quick. And hide the glue with some ribbon.

I wish I'd known ahead of time that I'd get roped into being a runner-of-bullshit at one of the weddings I attended a couple years ago, I probably would have made a pageant banner thing with my official title on it.

Actually, I should've done that last year when I stood in for the MOH at FSIL's hour-long rehearsal. MOH was FSIL's sister, who showed up FIFTY MINUTES LATE to a (oddly) super strictly timed hour long rehearsal. Stand-In MOH BC YOU'RE A DINK.

I need to photoshop these things.

wandajune6

Oh, the opportunities for awful behavior....

beethery

@lolo883 I'd make you one if you lived nearby, anything to avoid the cleaning tornado I need to get involved in tomorrow!

phira

I'm sorry, Basket

For serious, I just can't even with some people. Who the fuck needs an extra person to hand out programs?

"Well, if there isn't someone to hand them out, not everyone will get one!" Okay well maybe some people DON'T WANT ONE and maybe your wedding won't be a failure just because some people didn't feel like reading the list of all the bridesmaids.

amakayeb

I understand that asking someone to hand out the programs is NOT an honor.

However, I don't understand why it's so weird to have someone handing out programs. At every church service I have ever been to, 1 or 2 people are standing at the door to the worship space handing out bulletins. At other events, like school assemblies or plays, people are standing at the entrances handing out programs. In my experience, I think it would be stranger to see the programs just sitting there in a basket...

KGold80

amakayeb said:

I understand that asking someone to hand out the programs is NOT an honor.

However, I don't understand why it's so weird to have someone handing out programs. At every church service I have ever been to, 1 or 2 people are standing at the door to the worship space handing out bulletins. At other events, like school assemblies or plays, people are standing at the entrances handing out programs. In my experience, I think it would be stranger to see the programs just sitting there in a basket...

Because when you ask someone to hand out programs you are giving them a wholly unnecessary job when they could just be guests instead. A church service is not a hosted event. A wedding is - or should be - and guests should not be assigned to unnecessary tasks that are not considered an honor by most. Little kids - maybe....but an adult? Ridiculous.

AddieCake

amakayeb said:

I understand that asking someone to hand out the programs is NOT an honor.

However, I don't understand why it's so weird to have someone handing out programs. At every church service I have ever been to, 1 or 2 people are standing at the door to the worship space handing out bulletins. At other events, like school assemblies or plays, people are standing at the entrances handing out programs. In my experience, I think it would be stranger to see the programs just sitting there in a basket...

Too often, brides think they are honoring their friend or family member by giving them tasks to "include" them. They aren't. 

theartistformerlyknownas

Oh no, @phira. Not AN extra person. TWO (2, dos, deux) extra people. Grrrrr.

@amakayeb because those people either volunteer or are paid. And not wearing high heels. For 45 minutes before this dang thing starts.

AddieCake

phira said:

I'm sorry, Basket

For serious, I just can't even with some people. Who the fuck needs an extra person to hand out programs?

"Well, if there isn't someone to hand them out, not everyone will get one!" Okay well maybe some people DON'T WANT ONE and maybe your wedding won't be a failure just because some people didn't feel like reading the list of all the bridesmaids.

This is so true. And when someone hands me one, I feel obligated to take it. Grrr. 

amakayeb

KGold80 said:

I understand that asking someone to hand out the programs is NOT an honor.

However, I don't understand why it's so weird to have someone handing out programs. At every church service I have ever been to, 1 or 2 people are standing at the door to the worship space handing out bulletins. At other events, like school assemblies or plays, people are standing at the entrances handing out programs. In my experience, I think it would be stranger to see the programs just sitting there in a basket...

Because when you ask someone to hand out programs you are giving them a wholly unnecessary job when they could just be guests instead. A church service is not a hosted event. A wedding is - or should be - and guests should not be assigned to unnecessary tasks that are not considered an honor by most. Little kids - maybe....but an adult? Ridiculous.

But my point is, I don't consider it to be a 'wholly unnecessary job'. And, in my church, a wedding is first and foremost a worship service. I think that, to many people I know, it would be perceived as somewhat rude to just have the programs lying in a basket as opposed to someone greeting people at the door, welcoming them, and giving them a program

 Now, how you go about finding someone to do this job is a different issue. "Assigning it" to a guest or treating it like an honor is ridiculous. But I think it would be different saying to someone (a family member or close friend, perhaps) who asked if there was any way they could help with the wedding, "Well, do you think maybe you could help hand out the programs? You would be doing me a huge favor!"

AddieCake

amakayeb said:

But my point is, I don't consider it to be a 'wholly unnecessary job'. And, in my church, a wedding is first and foremost a worship service. I think that, to many people I know, it would be perceived as somewhat rude to just have the programs lying in a basket as opposed to someone greeting people at the door, welcoming them, and giving them a program

 Now, how you go about finding someone to do this job is a different issue. "Assigning it" to a guest or treating it like an honor is ridiculous. But I think it would be different saying to someone (a family member or close friend, perhaps) who asked if there was any way they could help with the wedding, "Well, do you think maybe you could help hand out the programs? You would be doing me a huge favor!"

Why is it a necessary job? People can pick up a program easily enough. They don't NEED one to be handed to them. How is it a huge favor?

JennyColada

I still don't understand why weddings need programs at all.

Is your wedding so long that there an intermission? Is U2 coming out for a small song set?

amakayeb

It's almost as much being a 'greeter' as it is handing out the program itself. Could the church just set the bulletins in a basket at the back of the church? Of course. But having someone there, personally greeting people, just seems more welcoming, and that is how every event like that I've ever been at has done it. Maybe it's a Midwestern thing, or a small town thing?

And since the bulletins aren't just sitting in a basket for any other worship service, it would come across as really odd if they were for a wedding, when there is even more reason to welcome each guest.

KGold80

amakayeb said:

KGold80 said:

amakayeb said:

I understand that asking someone to hand out the programs is NOT an honor.

However, I don't understand why it's so weird to have someone handing out programs. At every church service I have ever been to, 1 or 2 people are standing at the door to the worship space handing out bulletins. At other events, like school assemblies or plays, people are standing at the entrances handing out programs. In my experience, I think it would be stranger to see the programs just sitting there in a basket...

Because when you ask someone to hand out programs you are giving them a wholly unnecessary job when they could just be guests instead. A church service is not a hosted event. A wedding is - or should be - and guests should not be assigned to unnecessary tasks that are not considered an honor by most. Little kids - maybe....but an adult? Ridiculous.

But my point is, I don't consider it to be a 'wholly unnecessary job'. And, in my church, a wedding is first and foremost a worship service. I think that, to many people I know, it would be perceived as somewhat rude to just have the programs lying in a basket as opposed to someone greeting people at the door, welcoming them, and giving them a program

 Now, how you go about finding someone to do this job is a different issue. "Assigning it" to a guest or treating it like an honor is ridiculous. But I think it would be different saying to someone (a family member or close friend, perhaps) who asked if there was any way they could help with the wedding, "Well, do you think maybe you could help hand out the programs? You would be doing me a huge favor!"

Is it more rude to not have someone hand out programs or to give an adult a make-work job when they could instead just be a guest?

JCbride2015

JennyColada said:

I still don't understand why weddings need programs at all. Is your wedding so long that there an intermission? Is U2 coming out for a small song set?

THIS.  I understand in certain situations you may want it (like if you have a lot of people who wouldn't understand a religious ceremony).  But most programs I've seen are just lists of the wedding party, how everyone knows each other, and three little lines about whatever secular ceremony is taking place.  Just seems unnecessary to me.  You're killing trees and spending money, and then people will throw it out afterwards.

singinchick13

lolo883 said:

Oh no, @phira. Not AN extra person. TWO (2, dos, deux) extra people. Grrrrr. @amakayeb because those people either volunteer or are paid. And not wearing high heels. For 45 minutes before this dang thing starts.

Seriously, this could cost you 45 minutes at the end of the reception! I'm awful with heels and always end up taking them off/leaving early/refusing to stand up because my feet hurt. 

And @amakayeb I am not a regular church-goer, but when I was I seem to remember most bulletins posted up on the bulletin board for people to read as they walk by. Just sayin'.

FiancB

I'm sorry, Basket

For serious, I just can't even with some people. Who the fuck needs an extra person to hand out programs?

"Well, if there isn't someone to hand them out, not everyone will get one!" Okay well maybe some people DON'T WANT ONE and maybe your wedding won't be a failure just because some people didn't feel like reading the list of all the bridesmaids.

SITB

Well it's not so much that, obviously lolo would be very sad and put out if she was able to just sit in the pew like other adoring fans/peons, so now she can be The Basket. 

ohannabelle

Congratulations, Miss Basket! Do you feel all honored?

And I'm not trying to insult your wonderful new job here, but.....

My anti-program opinion:

I think programs are completely unnecessary, and never saw one during the first 35 to 40 years of my life. People simply used common sense and common courtesy, and if you didn't wholly understand all the religious aspects of a ceremony, you watched quietly and respectfully and followed the examples of others in the room- when to sit, when to stand, when to bow your head, whatever. It really wasn't difficult.

This suggests to me that people have managed to get married without programs for probably a few thousand years.

So many people now seem to be confusing their weddings with staged performances, and the program simply emphasizes that. I'm not in a frikking theater, I don't need a cast of characters list, and I've never seen a program that gave me any valuable information about a service that I couldn't have figured out by myself. I think it's an invention of the wedding industry. Complete waste of money. 

 

Pro-program opinion: They are useful as a makeshift fan on a warm day. 

SmileDamnit

Dear Basket,

I'll be thinking of you as we stand in line at the cash bar of shit show wedding we'll be attending.

Signed,

Fellow knottie who got sucked into a tacky wedding

theartistformerlyknownas

I'm honestly surprised she passed up the opportunity to have another obviously-worded burlap sign.

CaliMel11

I had a program, but it had the times on it, the cake cutting, etc, and when the dinner would be, since my whole family tends to freak out if they don't know what times things are at. 

However, we just had the programs out for people to take. I should have gotten a basket to put them in though because I have no idea how they even had them set up. 

Handing out programs is completely unnecessary. People have arms and know how to pick up a piece of paper. 

amakayeb

lolo883 said:

Oh no, @phira. Not AN extra person. TWO (2, dos, deux) extra people. Grrrrr. @amakayeb because those people either volunteer or are paid. And not wearing high heels. For 45 minutes before this dang thing starts.

Seriously, this could cost you 45 minutes at the end of the reception! I'm awful with heels and always end up taking them off/leaving early/refusing to stand up because my feet hurt. 

And @amakayeb I am not a regular church-goer, but when I was I seem to remember most bulletins posted up on the bulletin board for people to read as they walk by. Just sayin'.

SITB: In our church, we use 'bulletin' to refer to the printed order of service, which has the responsive prayers and readings, etc. It does also have notices and reminders, but it is pretty much necessary to have one in order to be able to follow along and participate fully in the service. 

theartistformerlyknownas

Well here's the thing.... if this was to serve a churchy-type purpose for this service, I still shouldn't have done it cuz I'm not a member of this church. I'm the bride's stepsister...and as it turns out, she had a lot of "extra" people she "wanted to include but couldn't," so she made up roles for them. I should be grateful though, because so e of these extras had to buy a bridesmaid dress! (Mistress of ceremonies, when there was already a master of ceremonies, plus one other miscellaneous bridesmaid-but-not).

Andplusalso, cutesy banner sign on the tip jar. Poem on the bathroom sundries. Pinterest-inspired sprinkle toss at their grand entrance, which we had to line up outside for a full 45 minutes before they showed up because they were busy taking pictures at the beach. Super duper. Her cousins kept telling me how much better my wedding is going to be (in 4 months and 3 days)!

KGold80

lolo883 said:

Well here's the thing.... if this was to serve a churchy-type purpose for this service, I still shouldn't have done it cuz I'm not a member of this church. I'm the bride's stepsister...and as it turns out, she had a lot of "extra" people she "wanted to include but couldn't," so she made up roles for them. I should be grateful though, because so e of these extras had to buy a bridesmaid dress! (Mistress of ceremonies, when there was already a master of ceremonies, plus one other miscellaneous bridesmaid-but-not).

Andplusalso, cutesy banner sign on the tip jar. Poem on the bathroom sundries. Pinterest-inspired sprinkle toss at their grand entrance, which we had to line up outside for a full 45 minutes before they showed up because they were busy taking pictures at the beach. Super duper. Her cousins kept telling me how much better my wedding is going to be (in 4 months and 3 days)!

Ugh! So sorry!!! That is all I can say about this. Aside from...thank gawd you didnt have to wear a bridesmaid dress.

theartistformerlyknownas

Oh yeah! 140 people, seating for 40.

amakayeb

@lolo883

I totally agree that this was ridiculous, and I'm sorry your stepsister did that to you. Making up roles and treating them like 'honors' is just annoying and rude.

But I maintain that in some circles, handing out programs is, if not a necessary task, at least something that feels like a nice touch.

rajahmd

I agree that individual programs aren't really necessary. We wanted to recognize our wedding party and parents though, so we had one giant one made. In fact, my mom painted it.