Wedding Etiquette Forum

Wedding Golf Tournament

Hi all!

My father has gotten the idea that it would be fun to throw a golf tournament the day before the wedding. Some background:

Over 70% of our guests are from out of town and many of them are planning on arriving Thursday.  My father and whole family really are avid golfers (they can't understand why I don't like it).  He thought it'd be a great way for family and friend of both sides to get together before the event.  The reception is at an Hotel Spa & Golf Club and most of the guests are staying at this hotel, so they would also play at the course there. 

My father would organize a captain's choice tournament with teams of four complete with boxed lunches, carts, and custom golf shirts for each player.  Also the winners would possibly be recognized at the wedding. He will invite all the wedding guests but leave it up to people on whether or not they'd like to play.  He was planning on asking those who'd like to participate to pay about $45/person (which is basically just the greens fee heavily discounted).  

Now I've been to plenty of golf tournaments and $45 is cheap for one.  I believe it is proper etiquette for those playing in a golf tournament to pay to enter.  However, since it is associated with the wedding is it rude to invite guests to pay to play in a golf tournament? I have absolutely no idea.  I know it's rude to expect a guest to pay for things at a wedding (ie cash bars), but does a pre-wedding event like a golf tournament fall under these rules? Help! 

Re: Wedding Golf Tournament

  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    We had a golf tournament.   My dad sent out invites stating the date, time and cost.    They ended up with about 12 or so foursomes so 48 or more golfers.


    ETA - the invites were sent out after the RSVP came back.  I feel like it's a gray area as far as etiquette goes.  Yes, it was a pre-wedding event, but it wasn't a gift giving event nor a requirement.  It was more of a fun event to do for those who wanted to participate.  Golf is not one of those things that you can often just decide once you get there.  Tees times often need to be setup in advance.







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I don't think it is against etiquette to ask everyone participating in the tournament to pay as long as the cost is known in advance. I might be wrong but it isn't really part of the wedding, just kind of an add on that guests can participate in if they desire.
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  • melbensomelbenso member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2014
    My dad was planning to organize a golf outing at the course at our venue the day before the wedding. Not a tournament... Just a chance for my family members who live across the country to get together. They were each going to pay for thenselves.
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  • I have limited experience with golf: only my grandmother plays, so I haven't been involved in organizing a family tournament.  But I think this sounds reasonable because it's not so directly related to your wedding (like a shower or RD).  If the normal thing for a golf tournament would be to pay, I think this is fine.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    It seems to me that if invitations to this golf tournament are separate from your wedding and if the fee is not sprung on the guests but made known to them in advance, it would be fine.


  • Thanks guys! This is what I was assuming but I wanted to make sure it was correct
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