Wedding Etiquette Forum

PPD Wars: The Church Strikes Back!

FI and I are getting ready for our Catholic wedding and I came across this little tidbit on their website that I thought I would share: 

"A Special Word to Couples Who Were Married at a Service Outside of the Catholic Church --Validation of Marriage:

When a couple seeks to validate their marriage which took place earlier without permission of the church or without the presence of a Roman Catholic minister, they are required to participate in the Marriage Preparation program.  

It is the policy of St. James Church that the liturgical service is to be simple and reverent.  While the validation does require a statement of vows, legally the couple has been married.  The celebration is to be a primarily sacramental celebration with the presence of 2 witnesses and family/friends.  Full wedding apparel, numerous attendants/ushers and efforts to seeking to create a full wedding ceremony that was not previously held with the civil ceremony will not be allowed with the validation ceremony in St. James Church. " (Emphasis added)

I find this particularly amusing since FI's sis may have played a role in the creation of this rule (She had a PPD there in which she lied to the deacon about her ceremony up until the day before the wedding when they had to admit that they were all ready wed.) 

So let this be a lesson to all those lurking, the Catholic Church is on to your game. You can have the sacrament, but not the 'wedding redo', because actions have consequences.  




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Re: PPD Wars: The Church Strikes Back!

  • I just like that the Church is 'on to' these brides (and grooms) and that there are no loopholes. Basically, they are saying that since you "had" to get married outside the church for whatever reason, we will forgive you and validate your union, but 1) your ARE legally married and 2) since you broke our rules we aren't going to give you pass and let you have a PPD. 




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    itslizzyCKeptInStitchesPrettyGirlLost
  • lennonkdc said:
    FI and I are getting ready for our Catholic wedding and I came across this little tidbit on their website that I thought I would share: 

    "A Special Word to Couples Who Were Married at a Service Outside of the Catholic Church --Validation of Marriage:

    When a couple seeks to validate their marriage which took place earlier without permission of the church or without the presence of a Roman Catholic minister, they are required to participate in the Marriage Preparation program.  

    It is the policy of St. James Church that the liturgical service is to be simple and reverent.  While the validation does require a statement of vows, legally the couple has been married.  The celebration is to be a primarily sacramental celebration with the presence of 2 witnesses and family/friends.  Full wedding apparel, numerous attendants/ushers and efforts to seeking to create a full wedding ceremony that was not previously held with the civil ceremony will not be allowed with the validation ceremony in St. James Church. " (Emphasis added)

    I find this particularly amusing since FI's sis may have played a role in the creation of this rule (She had a PPD there in which she lied to the deacon about her ceremony up until the day before the wedding when they had to admit that they were all ready wed.) 

    So let this be a lesson to all those lurking, the Catholic Church is on to your game. You can have the sacrament, but not the 'wedding redo', because actions have consequences.  

    Love it!! This is what I was trying to explain in a thread a few days ago! It's even started in Canon Law aka the Church law. Haha
    PrettyGirlLostashleyep
  • Oooohhh... I love that they put in a special mention about not wearing a poofy gown and faking a wedding. That is awesome and hilarious. I want to high-five St. James Church right now.
    PrettyGirlLostSKPM
  • We should add this and a link to Canon Law to the PPD thread.

    Perhaps all those arguing for the religious side of things might back off.

     

    PrettyGirlLostperdonamijaprincess24
  • itslizzyCitslizzyC member
    Name Dropper First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    itslizzyC said: It sounds like its not a PPD but a convalidation. The church and devout Catholics do not see or recognize a civil marriage as a real marriage. The Sacrament is a necessity for it to be considered "real". My FI's parents eloped and it was hush hush for a while because they knew family wouldn't be happy because of their elopement or even recognize their wedding as real. Obviously a few months later the secret came out because lying as pointed out by PP is also against the Catholic faith. They eventually had their marriage convalidated. It was an extremely difficult process and very involved. There were tons of meetings and interviews with the priest but they also had to attend a group pre-Cana class with your typical engaged couple. As faithful Catholics they acknowledge that as their real marriage when they received the grace of the Sacrament. Cannon law 1157 states that a person must recognize that their original marriage or civil union was invalid in order to be granted convalidation. This typically does not include a reception or registry or bridesmaids because by definition when you receive a convalidation the Church and God then view your marriage as "real" or valid AND valid from the original union realizing you and forgiving you from any sin due to living out an invalid marriage. So it then acknowledges the fact that they have been married for X amount of years. See cannon law 1161. So you already had your party or if you eloped you chose not to have one. So the fact that she said they are having their real marriage not their real wedding only further makes me believe that this is the case. Sorry for the long post! But I do love my faith but by no means am I an expert! And I totally agree that if she decides to have a reception for this...even though most priests and dioceses would highly discourage it she would in fact be having a PPD. This was from the other thread and references the different laws. The Church isn't messing around!

  • We should add this and a link to Canon Law to the PPD thread.

    Perhaps all those arguing for the religious side of things might back off.
    Go for it! 



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  • afox007afox007 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Never been so happy to be Catholic
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    ejpentecost
  • lennonkdc said:

    We should add this and a link to Canon Law to the PPD thread.

    Perhaps all those arguing for the religious side of things might back off.
    Go for it! 
    I can't find it on the Canon Law webpage, but I could be missing something in it because it reads like stereo instructions.


     

  • I heart my church so much right now.
    I am feeling a certain faith of my fathers warm glow of pride, myself. 
    HisGirlFriday13
  • scrunchythiefscrunchythief member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    I also remember from lurking on the Catholic board here, that a convalidation in the case of a PPD isn't even a sure thing.  If the the priest thinks you still have no idea what the Church teaches about marriage he can, and in my opinion should, refuse.  Otherwise, the marriage still might be invalid according to Church teachings, but for new reasons.  

    Now if a couple had been away from the Church when they got married, and now were back and wanted a convalidation, I'd be super excited for them, because that's actually what convalidations were designed for.  

    ETA: Forgot to mention, hooray for the Star Wars reference:)  I think I will now imagine all PPDs being sabotaged by the rebel alliance.  
    itslizzyCKeptInStitches
  • I LOVE this!
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