Asking to say a blessing...

Kauris

I know it is not etiquette approved to ask someone to make a toast, but would it be okay to ask my dad if he would like to give the blessing before our meal? And is my father an appropriate person to ask? Our minister has three weddings that day, so will likely be gone before it is time for the blessing...

blabla89

If I were in this situation, I would be rethinking our choice of ministers. It's perfectly appropriate for a father to give the blessing, but don't put him on the spot unless you know he would be comfortable with it. If your parents are married, perhaps you could ask your mom if she thinks he would be willing to do so.

VulgarGirl

Is it something your dad would be comfortable with or something he traditionally does? Like say before Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner?

Simply Fated

I'm really interested to see the replies in this thread. I know in my family it's considered an honor to say the blessing over the bread and wine at events like weddings. 
But are those blessings different than the blessing over the meal? This is me not knowing enough about other religions to give a good enough answer, sorry lol.

Inkdancer

I would consider this an honor, but only do it if your dad is comfortable in front of crowds.

Jen4948

I'd ask your dad how he feels about this, but if he agrees with you that it is an honor, go for it. Edited to add: Find another officiant. Your minister sounds over-scheduled, and that doesn't make him reliable.

cowgirl8238

I'm in the ask him how he feel's camp.  If he thinks its an honor and doesn't mind public speaking then go for it.  If it is a tradition he doesn't like, or has a fear of large groups then I would find someone else.

Also your minister has TWO other weddings, thats crazy.  Not wrong, but that seems to be a long day for him.

Kauris

Our wedding minister is a hired minister. He came highly recommended, by several wedding professionals in our city, including our venue. I'm United Methodist and every few years it seems, we get a new minister, so unfortunately, I don't have a minister currently, that I or my family have any history with. The ones that we do, have now been promoted so far up that it would be unreasonable to have them preside over our ceremony. I appreciate the concern but as it is, I am sure he will do a good job. I have spoken with him exactly twice now and the second time he remembered that FI had recently lost his father and the first thing he asked was how FI was doing. He might just have taken good notes though. 

I will talk with Dad, he or my step mom usually take lead on prayer at family occasions, so hopefully he will be okay doing it or be okay telling me no (which I'm fine with also). I really just wanted to know if this is an honorary thing or a PITA thing that no one wants to do.

Thanks ladies, as usual for the good advice and concern!

MobKaz

It is considered a request of honor in our family as well. Often, the FOB will welcome guests at the reception. Then the guest offering the blessing before the meal is introduced by the FOB. I have seen godparents, aunts/uncles, and siblings offer the meal blessing.

STARMOON44

I see nothing wrong with asking him.

manateehugger

I consider this an honor similar to asking someone to do a reading.

csuave

My dad is the go to person in my family for saying grace at family functions, including a couple of weddings.  I asked him and he said he also wanted to say a few words.  His mini-speech was quickly followed by saying grace and it flowed very well. 

lovesclimbing

kasmith1 said:

I know it is not etiquette approved to ask someone to make a toast, but would it be okay to ask my dad if he would like to give the blessing before our meal? And is my father an appropriate person to ask? Our minister has three weddings that day, so will likely be gone before it is time for the blessing...

Being asked to say the blessing over the food, in my circle, is an honor. Unless your dad is an atheist/agnostic/does not believe in the same god you believe in, I think it would definitely be appropriate to ask him.

Also, I didn't know it was not ok to ask someone to make a toast.