Talk me off the ledge!

ShadeofGreen816

I might lose my mind. I'm having a "destination wedding" in August. I use quotes because it's a wedding that I am planning myself in a town that isn't my hometown, as in I am not using a package or anything "easy." (If one more person tells me wedding planning is easy for me because I'm having a DW…. ahhhh) Anyway, we're getting married at a hotel and hosting our reception there, etc. 

When we first signed our contract, we discussed the room block. I knew I was going to be inviting 100-125 people (now it's 130) and I wanted to make a 30-ish room block. I was highly discouraged from doing this. She kept telling me that it might not fill up, etc. and that we could always add more rooms later. Well, we settled on a 15-room block against my better judgement. Well, SURPRISE the block is full. Invites aren't even OUT yet. So I went down to do wedding stuff almost three weeks ago, and we discussed extending the block. We were told "No problem. How many" We decided on 20 more rooms, as some of our VIPs haven't even made reservations yet. 

Fast forward 2 1/2 weeks, and my guests are still telling me that the hotel is saying our block is full and wanting to charge $299/night! WTF. So I have called her cell 4 times, sent two emails, left my phone number in each one. I finally get through today by calling the hotel desk and making someone walk up to her office. She acts like this is the first she's heard from me and claims she has my phone number wrong when I tell it to her. Then tells me that we can do 10 rooms for a rate that was $60/night over our original block price of $169, which is high enough for some of our guests. I say no, that's not acceptable, I can meet her in the middle but to break $200 seems really excessive this far out. She agrees to do 10 rooms at $199, and needs to talk to her manager to get APPROVAL for the other rooms. 

In any case, this is really long but basically I'm kinda freaking out. We are spending upwards of 10K on food/alcohol for the wedding (STILL waiting on our detailed quote now that we've picked our food/alcohol, etc), let alone the room revenue from the weekend.

I guest I'm just venting but also, is this too much for me to ask that I get some attention for how much they're going to get from this weekend from us?? 

Maggie0829

Have you looked into a nearby hotel to make an additional room block?

Also, I would ask this lady if you could speak to her manager and explain the situation to that person since you aren't getting really anything out of this coordinator.

ShadeofGreen816

Well, in our original contract, to get the block rate we did have, we had to say that we would use this hotel exclusively for our block. I brought this up with her on the phone today and said that I felt we were being bullied into paying a much higher price now and that our hands were tied. She acted like she didn't' know what I was talking about, so she pulled up the contract and then says "oh yes you're right." 

I'm in tears over this situation and I'm considering sending an email to better articulate myself than I can on the phone. I might even say (and it will be partially true - so far we're only in the $1000 deposit) that I"m going to have to consider other venues. Poor FI doesn't know what to do with me right now! "Want a hug?" oh… poor guy!

andrea4255

I work for a hotel and I can tell you that what this lady is saying is absolutely not true. First of all, your contract would have your correct contact information on it, so she has no excuse for having your "wrong phone number". Also, adding more rooms to a room block is 100% do-able and with our computer program, the computer automatically adds the rooms at the agreed upon room block price. 

I agree with PP and ask to speak with the manager and explain your situation. If this lady has goofed up as bad as we all think, she will likely spin a story in order to cover her own butt and leave to dry. I would also recommend checking out other possibly cheaper hotels near by that would be able to give you a good deal on a block of rooms. 

Hopefully everything works out!

Maggie0829

SarahRN87 said:

Well, in our original contract, to get the block rate we did have, we had to say that we would use this hotel exclusively for our block. I brought this up with her on the phone today and said that I felt we were being bullied into paying a much higher price now and that our hands were tied. She acted like she didn't' know what I was talking about, so she pulled up the contract and then says "oh yes you're right." 

I'm in tears over this situation and I'm considering sending an email to better articulate myself than I can on the phone. I might even say (and it will be partially true - so far we're only in the $1000 deposit) that I"m going to have to consider other venues. Poor FI doesn't know what to do with me right now! "Want a hug?" oh… poor guy!

Well I think that since they aren't willing to give you the same price for any additional rooms that you add to your block then they aren't living up to the contract and you have every right to go set up an additional block with someone else.  

Please talk to the manager, rather then this person cause she seems like she is acting dumb on purpose.  Tell the manager that you agreed to that clause in the contract because of the price that you were quoted for the room block.  And that you would like to add more rooms you should be given them at the same price.  I wouldn't back down on this.

I know losing $1000 is not what you want to do, but you need to weigh whether or not it is worth losing or having to deal with this irritating person for the rest of your wedding planning.

phira

Yeah, I'd get your contract in front of you, and insist on speaking to someone higher up. This is very silly. And yeah, I'd consider eating the deposit and making new room blocks elsewhere.

ShadeofGreen816

Well I am very much considering eating the $1000 but this would be to move my entire wedding somewhere new, as we are holding our ceremony and reception there. And our invitations have been ordered (still not to print so it's not 100% unchangeable) and we're 3 months out. It's doable but damn, it will be hard!

Maggie0829

SarahRN87 said:

Well I am very much considering eating the $1000 but this would be to move my entire wedding somewhere new, as we are holding our ceremony and reception there. And our invitations have been ordered (still not to print so it's not 100% unchangeable) and we're 3 months out. It's doable but damn, it will be hard!

Well I think before you make any rash decision you speak with the manager.  See what that person has to say and then go from there.

If it were me I would just make a room block elsewhere and say screw them.

Dignity100

Dumb question - how are they going to know if you make another room block at a different hotel?  Room blocks are nice, but guests aren't limited to only those rooms, they can make other arrangements if need be - so how would they know that some of your guests just didn't decide to stay elsewhere?

I would ask to speak with the manager.  They should be able to work with you, sure they might not be able to guarantee the original price but it should be somewhat close.

phira

Dignity100 said:

Dumb question - how are they going to know if you make another room block at a different hotel?  Room blocks are nice, but guests aren't limited to only those rooms, they can make other arrangements if need be - so how would they know that some of your guests just didn't decide to stay elsewhere?

I would ask to speak with the manager.  They should be able to work with you, sure they might not be able to guarantee the original price but it should be somewhat close.

You are so fucking wise.

SapphireCounselor

Dignity100 said:

Dumb questn - how are they going to know if you make another room block at a different hotel?  Room blocks are nice, but guests aren't limited to only those rooms, they can make other arrangements if need be - so how would they know that some of your guests just didn't decide to stay elsewhere?

I would ask to speak with the manager.  They should be able to work with you, sure they might not be able to guarantee the original price but it should be somewhat close.

I was thinking this too. How would they know? Anyway OP, sorry you are dealing with this frustration but it sounds like you got some great advice above. Hope it works out!

ShadeofGreen816

Thanks everyone for great advice. I sent a fairly long, carefully worded, polite-but-firm email today that this is unacceptable and I really hope that we can find a reasonable solution that is beneficial to all parties. 

In terms of the room block, they really don't need to know, it was just stated in such a way that we couldn't' list them both on the invite (don't know why they'd ever see the invite). I have started to look into room blocks elsewhere and have found a great deal right down the road. However, I have a iffy feeling about this. To me, this seems sort of like the arguments against partial or full cash bars. I don't want to make people feel bad if they don't want to pay the exorbitant prices that these people seem to want to charge. 

Any sensitive way around this? For people who have already asked, that is… I know I can just place both names on the accommodations card and on our website without much other commentary but I've had 4-5 people asking me why the hotel is charging more now and saying that they can't/won't afford it.

Dignity100

Maybe it's just me, but I have seen brides with several hotel options for room blocks (usually different price points or some that are more family oriented than others).  I would think it would be better to say:
'Room block at Hotel A is full and I was not able to reserve additional rooms. I was however able to set up a room block at Hotel B'
OVER
'Room block at Hotel A is full and I'm not able to get more rooms.  You're on your own'

Wait to hear back what the hotel has to say.

Maggie0829

Most brides have multiple room blocks at multiple price points.  Then it is up to the guest to decide where they would like to stay and how much they want to spend.

For those that are asking why the hotel is charging more now just tell them the truth, that you have no freaking idea why.

JennyColada

I doubt the hotel would be happy to hear that since they cannot work with you on the additional room blocks (basically guaranteed revenue), that you are suggesting that your guests book elsewhere. Have you booked rooms for WP yet? You can use that as a bargaining chip too. Hotels (all business really) never want to hear that they are losing business within their control.

I agree that you'd get better results speaking to a manager.

ShadeofGreen816

JennyColada said:

I doubt the hotel would be happy to hear that since they cannot work with you on the additional room blocks (basically guaranteed revenue), that you are suggesting that your guests book elsewhere. Have you booked rooms for WP yet? You can use that as a bargaining chip too. Hotels (all business really) never want to hear that they are losing business within their control. I agree that you'd get better results speaking to a manager.

I agree! That was what was so confusing for me yesterday - they were willing to give me a lower price if I extended to 8-10 rooms, but not for 15. That seemed backwards to me. She responded to my email helping to address some concerns but we'll see how things pan out over the next week or so. Thanks everyone for the help! Its so hard to see a reasonable solution/response when that panic sets in!

JennyColada

I totally feel you @SarahRN87! Thankfully, I inherited my mother's PR/bargaining capabilities (she's taught me well!). But it is easy to lose sight when you're stressed and panicked. That's what we're here for: to show you the light and help you through it.

ShadeofGreen816

I'm typically a very good bargainer and I don't take much flack from people. But: 1. I've never planned a wedding, so I don't know whats customary. and 2. I'm trying really hard not to be a bridezilla so I think sometimes I go too far in the opposite direction and become a pushover. No more. I even felt bad after my email got sent, but now that I have a response, I don't regret it!

JennyColada

Three cheers for you and your awesome wedding!