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Are we suppose to reserve a table with the same menu for musicians?

My wedding is this Saturday, May 17th. The pianist  that we hired to accompany 2 vocal performers contacted me tonight to inform me that he was expected a seat and dinner for he and his spouse and the 2 vocal performers we hired.  I informed him that unfortunately, all of our tables are full with guests.  However, all of our vendors will be able to order from the hotel's room service menu as a courtesy.  He indicated that I was rude and un professional and that the normal etiquette is that musicians aren't considered "vendors" and that they have special consideration and are always given a seat at a table such as the clergy that performs the vows etc.  Is this true? I mean if I am paying you to perform at my wedding, I am suppose to offer YOU the same meal($150.00) as my guests???? sorry for venting...I am just under a lot of stress and worked hard for this day and did not need to hear that I was "un-professional,inconsiderate and rude".   

Re: Are we suppose to reserve a table with the same menu for musicians?

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    Umm, what does your contract with these people say about feeding them? Are they playing only during the ceremony (in which case, why are you inviting them to the reception) or the reception also? 

    This guy sounds insane; if you are paying him for a service, he is absolutely a vendor. I've been part of a string quartet for a number of weddings, and I would never dream of considering myself to be a guest rather than a paid performer. I would have never have signed with a band or DJ that required spouses to be accommodated in the contract. 

    I think feeding vendors is a completely valid request, especially if it's in your contract, but a hired vendor demanding to bring his spouse is ridiculous. I would stand firm on that one and say that she cannot and will not be accommodated. That is ridiculous. 

    Are you picking up the cost of them ordering room service? I think that's fine then. I would check in with your caterer/venue coordinator to see how they normally handle vendor meals. 
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    Usually, the meal is in the contract, specifying the time of break. And yes, I have seen weddings with assigned seating where the musicians, during their breaks, sat with the clergyman and the wedding planner or day of coordinator or whoever she was, and the photographer(s) during their breaks. Caterers often give price per person breaks for vendor meals. 

    So he's probably used to the routine, and thinks of himself as very special sort of vendor, a skilled professional artist, elevated far above, say, the guy who brings the chairs in. I have a tremendous respect for artists, so I can understand him feeling a little sulky if he feels he's being sent to the kitchen for a burger like a servant.

    So, he's somewhat right, albeit with a crappy attitude, but not at all even close to right about bringing his wife. That is frikking ridiculous. Shame on him.

    If he wants to be snotty about being "unprofessional," he should not bring his wife along for the free meal. And he should have a professional contract spelling out "same as guests" or "comparable to guests" meal for his own. Look for those or similar phrases in the contract, and like PDKH said, say that you're happy to provide meals to the contracted professionals but they are contracted professionals, and spouses can not be accommodated. 

    Maybe he'll like "contracted professional" better than vendor. It sounds like he has quite an ego.


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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Depends on what your contract says.

    Professional vendors are not entitled to bring their SOs or to be seated among the guests.  This guy is wrong about that.  Depending on the terms of your contract, vendors are entitled to take meal breaks, and are entitled to meals, although they don't necessarily have to be of the same quality as what the guests are served.

    This guy has a bad attitude and I'd think again about using his services.
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    I am a professional musician (retired).  This guy is out of line.  He is not entitled to bring a date to your wedding, and as long as there is some food available during break time, that is all he should expect.  Ask him if he belongs to the local musician's union.  (I bet he doesn't!)
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    vmj23vmj23 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    of course he is a vendor, not a guest!  you hired him!  He wouldn't be coming otherwise!  He's out of line, in my opinion.  
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    If I were in your shoes, I would be so angry with his attitude I would seriously consider looking for other musicians. He is WAY out of line. Will the pianist and vocal performers be performing all night or just during a part of the evening (ie cocktail hour only).

    He is absolutely a vendor. You are paying him a service. You are providing him with a meal, a break and a place to sit (the level of which depends on his contract). He doesn't get to bring his wife and he certainly cannot insist he sit with certain people at your wedding (ie the clergy member). 

    I agree with @ohannabelle by saying "contracted professionals are being compensated by receiving the agreed payment, will receive a meal provided by the same catering as the wedding and a break to eat, appropriate allotted breaks at X and Y time for Z minutes, and non-alcoholic beverages. The payment is to perform during the following times: XY and finish at Z. Contracted professionals cannot bring guests."
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    Wow.  All vendors are not considered guests.  You do however need to serve your vendors a meal, usually something separate from what the guests are eating.  You are also paying them so unless otherwise stated in the contract the vendors meals are simply a nice thing to do for you vendors.  Also if they are musician's or any vendor they cannot bring guests.  They also usually are during the ceremony in which case should also not be invited to the reception as there job is over by that point.
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