How long do I actually have?

[Deleted User]

I think you were in a totally acceptable time frame. Any chance some of her friends caught wind that others had already gotten thank you card & they hadn't gotten theirs yet since you were sending them out in waves?

kitsunegari89

Erikan73 said:

I think you were in a totally acceptable time frame. Any chance some of her friends caught wind that others had already gotten thank you card & they hadn't gotten theirs yet since you were sending them out in waves?

It's possible. Old ladies do talk.

HisGirlFriday13

mrshutzler said:

Erikan73 said:

I think you were in a totally acceptable time frame. Any chance some of her friends caught wind that others had already gotten thank you card & they hadn't gotten theirs yet since you were sending them out in waves?

It's possible. Old ladies do talk.


Yes they do. And while I still think you were on the outside of acceptable, you were not past acceptable, which makes granny's snarkiness uncalled-for and rude and shame on her.

Old ladies are gossipy old biddies. (Says the girl who is away on business for A WEEK and just got a pissy phone call from DH's grandmother who wants to know why he didn't call her for Mother's Day.)

Your husband's grandmother was rude, and will be ashamed when she gets the TY note. And your husband needs to tell her that she should be ashamed of herself.

Love_Cam

Can I high jack a little and ask another question on topic?

What is the proper time frame for thank you notes on gifts giving during the engagement? For example, we have received a gift from friends but they are also hosting a shower for us later this month. Can I wait and send them one after the shower or do I need to do two separate ones?

phira

Love_Cam said:

Can I high jack a little and ask another question on topic?

What is the proper time frame for thank you notes on gifts giving during the engagement? For example, we have received a gift from friends but they are also hosting a shower for us later this month. Can I wait and send them one after the shower or do I need to do two separate ones?

I'd do separate thank yous for the gift and the shower. Two different things. The rule of thumb is to thank people as soon as possible, even if you know that there's going to be a gift/nice thing later.

HisGirlFriday13

Love_Cam said:

Can I high jack a little and ask another question on topic?

What is the proper time frame for thank you notes on gifts giving during the engagement? For example, we have received a gift from friends but they are also hosting a shower for us later this month. Can I wait and send them one after the shower or do I need to do two separate ones?

Ditto @phira. Separate gifts and separate events get separate thank-yous.

kitsunegari89

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Can I high jack a little and ask another question on topic?

What is the proper time frame for thank you notes on gifts giving during the engagement? For example, we have received a gift from friends but they are also hosting a shower for us later this month. Can I wait and send them one after the shower or do I need to do two separate ones?

Ditto @phira. Separate gifts and separate events get separate thank-yous.

This ^^
I sent out separate waves of TYs. One for the pre-shower gifts, one for the shower gifts, one right after the wedding for all the cash/checks because I didn't want to lose track of who gave what/how much, and one just now for all the gifts that we got the day of and after the wedding. We were very fortunate and people were very generous. Like everyone said, I probably did wait a bit too long to get out the last wave. It's easy to let it get away from you. It's better to send things in succession as you get the gifts. Also, if you get a gift from an older person, send that note ASAP... As I realize now, old ladies wait by their mailboxes and gossip with one another.

phira

@lilybet13 I do the same thing. To be honest, I feel pretty passive-aggressive about it, but for real, people, just send thank you notes.

carliealissa

Wow, I'm glad I read this.  It's the norm for every wedding I've been to that a thank you comes back in about 6 mo- year, that is if I even notice by then, so I had no idea they needed to be out so soon.  (I do think that's way too long, but assumed before now that 2-3 months was fine).  We're not even going to be back from our honeymoon for 3 weeks, it's going to be really tough to crank them all out in one week after we get home!  I do like the idea of writing them out on the flight, but I'm not sure I can lug them all around... will have to do some pondering about this!

[Deleted User]

carliealissa said:

Wow, I'm glad I read this.  It's the norm for every wedding I've been to that a thank you comes back in about 6 mo- year, that is if I even notice by then, so I had no idea they needed to be out so soon.  (I do think that's way too long, but assumed before now that 2-3 months was fine).  We're not even going to be back from our honeymoon for 3 weeks, it's going to be really tough to crank them all out in one week after we get home!  I do like the idea of writing them out on the flight, but I'm not sure I can lug them all around... will have to do some pondering about this!

But you can get all your shower TYs done before the wedding.  Quickly get done cards you get for anything up until a couple days before the wedding.  Then maybe take all the cards you need to write on the plane to the honeymoon while leaving behind any envelopes or address books or stamps.  If you'll have a layover in the states before leaving for foreign lands, you can pre address and stamp a few envelopes and mail a few from the airport.  And the remaining few can be mailed out as soon as you get back while you're doing piles of honeymoon laundry and putting away all the pretty gifts you finally get to use.