NWR: I'm gonna gush about my dad

VulgarGirl

Seriously guys, it's just a I love my dad post. You can totally skip it.

So my dad has discovered Pinterest. Mostly he just pins Doctor Who stuff and other geeky things he loves. But he stumbled across two pins that pissed him off. One about raising daughters and one about raising sons. He asked me if I'd seen them and I said yes (but hadn't read them) and then he had this to say:

You don't teach your sons things that you don't teach your daughters and vice versa. I raised one girl and two boys and I taught all three of you the same damn life lessons. How to tie ties, cook a steak, figure out a tip, shake hands, give back to your communities and you all became adults I'm proud to call my kids (aww dad!). There isn't one thing you teach a girl that boy shouldn't also know about. Not one damn thing.

Seriously, my dad is awesome. When I was born my dad realized he had a daughter and spent the first few months of my life educating himself on things like bras and periods and all the ways my body would change as I got older (cause he didn't know). My mom told him she'd handle all that but according to him, I was his kid as much as her's and he should be able to field any and all questions as well. He then taught my brothers all about women and their changing bodies. I remember him once saying "I will not raise a son who isn't enough of a man to buy tampons", and both my brothers have bought tampons without blinking because a period is nothing to be ashamed of. 

I'm not sure he actually read the pins, but I'm just so happy to have a dad who looked at gender roles and flipped them the bird. Especially given the household he was brought up in, where there was women's work and men's work, where his sister got her mouth washed out with soap for saying she was on her period (ladies don't discuss such things), and where homophobia ran rampant. I just love that my dad realized, at a young age, that was all hogwash and raised his kids to be individuals who pursue whatever makes them happy regardless of what hangs (or doesn't hang) between their legs.

JCbride2015

Awwwww your dad sounds incredible!

phira

I wish I had a dad like yours! Mine was practically the opposite! (I say "was," not because he's deceased or because he's changed, but because we're estranged. Surprise.)

It's so important that men make an effort to help dismantle gender roles. Because he's absolutely right: there's no reason to teach a boy to fix a car engine, but not teach a girl. Or to teach a girl how to sew, but not teach a boy.

VulgarGirl

phira said:

I wish I had a dad like yours! Mine was practically the opposite! (I say "was," not because he's deceased or because he's changed, but because we're estranged. Surprise.)

It's so important that men make an effort to help dismantle gender roles. Because he's absolutely right: there's no reason to teach a boy to fix a car engine, but not teach a girl. Or to teach a girl how to sew, but not teach a boy.

My dad is fully the reason I can sew at all. I have three moms and between them they could probably replace a button. But my dad joined theater in high school and got put in charge of costumes and picked up sewing pretty quickly.

That sucks about your dad. I'm always sad when people have sucky relationships with one or both of their parents. FI no longer speaks to her mom, I think I get more sad faced about it then she does. I got lucky, I ended up with four parents who are all pretty awesome.

smalfrie19

Can your dad adopt me?

VulgarGirl

I'll run it by him @smalfrie19. I always kind of wanted a sister.

phira

@MagicInk Sometimes, I'm sad about it. I feel like I missed out on a lot of normal childhood memories because of the way my dad was. And even now, I know that I'm a little bit warped. For example, I find it difficult to understand how people have more than one parent they get along with. And when my partner and I talk about having kids, I have a lot of anxiety that our kids will only get along with one parent, and that parent will be my partner. It's irrational--I know it's a ridiculous thing to fear. But I don't have another frame of reference.

What has been a positive about wedding planning, though, is that it brings into focus the family members I am close to. So I usually forget that my immediate family isn't an intact family.

smalfrie19

MagicInk said:

I'll run it by him @smalfrie19. I always kind of wanted a sister.

Hey! the great thing about that is my home is always open to you then! and you can drop by whenever..and I will cook for you!

(this is what I do for my actual sister )

VulgarGirl

smalfrie19 said:

MagicInk said:

I'll run it by him @smalfrie19. I always kind of wanted a sister.

Hey! the great thing about that is my home is always open to you then! and you can drop by whenever..and I will cook for you!

(this is what I do for my actual sister )

Dude you can cook? Yeah, you're getting adopted. Cause I can't cook. I'm always trying to add more cooks to the family.

JCbride2015

MagicInk said:

smalfrie19 said:

MagicInk said:

I'll run it by him @smalfrie19. I always kind of wanted a sister.

Hey! the great thing about that is my home is always open to you then! and you can drop by whenever..and I will cook for you!

(this is what I do for my actual sister )

Dude you can cook? Yeah, you're getting adopted. Cause I can't cook. I'm always trying to add more cooks to the family.

Want in, too!  And I can cook.  But ONLY if we can all live on the sloth farm with J. Lawr and Kristen Bell.

SmileDamnit

Awwww - you're Pops is definitely a keeper! 

I heart my D, too. He's a big ol' hairy gentle giant who is stubborn beyond description and has a fierce love of wolf shirts (…yes, the uber tacky ones, like this), and he is perfect in my eyes

smalfrie19

MagicInk said:

smalfrie19 said:

MagicInk said:

I'll run it by him @smalfrie19. I always kind of wanted a sister.

Hey! the great thing about that is my home is always open to you then! and you can drop by whenever..and I will cook for you!

(this is what I do for my actual sister )

Dude you can cook? Yeah, you're getting adopted. Cause I can't cook. I'm always trying to add more cooks to the family.

I baked fresh blueberry muffins last night  

theartistformerlyknownas

My dad is the best. He taught me how to cook and how to clean a gun. And he offers me a drink the minute I walk in the door to his house (even at 10am Easter morning, captain and oj, yumm), right after a giant bear hug. He was my biggest cheerleader when I outscored his college GPA at his alma mater. And he surprised me the other day by calling in the final payment on my wedding dress, when I'd been planning on paying for everything myself.

wandajune6

Your dad is awesome!

So is mine. He taught us to cook, to sew a button, to replace a toilet, and to handle anything that comes my way. He never had a son but I don't think he would raise one any differently.

pinkcow13

I said this before. And I'll say it again. Your dad is awesome!