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Proof my invites, please!

hikebikebemerryhikebikebemerry member
500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Could you lovelies please look at my invite wording to let me know if it looks ok?


Together with their parents

Quinn Medicine-Woman

and

Walker Texas-Ranger

Request the pleasure of your company
At the celebration of their union

Saturday, the Fifteenth of November
Two thousand fourteen
Five o'clock in the afternoon
Fancy McFancypant's Hotel
Weddingtown, New Hampshire
Reception to follow


Thanks!


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Re: Proof my invites, please!

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited May 2014
    Together with their parents

    Quinn Medicine-Woman

    and

    Walker Texas-Ranger

    request the pleasure of your company
    as they are united in marriage

    Saturday, the fifteenth of November
    two thousand fourteen
    at five o'clock

    Fancy McFancypant's Hotel
    Weddingtown, New Hampshire

    Reception to follow 

    Is your wording supposed to be a wedding invitation?  I am assuming that is what you want.  The wording you are using sounds like it is an invitation to a celebration, not a wedding.  I would be very confused if I received an invitation like that.  I changed your wording too be more clear.

    You should only capitalize proper nouns, and not the beginning of each line.  The whole thing should read like one long sentence.

    Other than the changes I made, your wording is fine.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    hikebikebemerry said:
    Could you lovelies please look at my invite wording to let me know if it looks ok?


    Together with their parents

    Quinn Medicine-Woman

    and

    Walker Texas-Ranger

    request the pleasure of your company
    at the celebration of their union (I would change this wording. It sounds like you're already married)

    Saturday, the fifteenth of November
    two thousand fourteen
    at five o'clock in the afternoon
    Fancy McFancypant's Hotel
    Weddingtown, New Hampshire
    Reception to follow


    Thanks!


    My comments/changes are in red.
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    image


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  • hikebikebemerryhikebikebemerry member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Thank you so much!
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  • AlexaF2014AlexaF2014 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Sorry, not invite related, but we're getting married on the same day! Yay wedding twin!

    I agree with PPs about caps, and celebration of their union vs. united in marriage. Might be you left it out for internet privacy, but include the street address of McFancypant's rather than just the name and city/state. 
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