Etiquette Dont's from brides.com

Cookie Pusher

I saw this on my Facebook feed this morning.

I don't 100% agree with all their suggestions, but overall, it's not the worst list I've seen. I do like that they address the whole cash bars are bad issue - because they are! And gaps. I'm glad they said gaps are bad, but I'm not keen on their suggestions of what to do if a gap is "inevitable" because gaps can be avoided. What do you all think?

VulgarGirl

Musikalbunni said:

I hate gaps. Just declined an invite that had a wedding gap the size of Arizona. Ceremony was at 11am in a city 40 miles from where I'm at. Reception starts at 6pm in a city 15 miles from where I'm at. Just all over the map - figuratively and realistically speaking. 

Why do people do that?

It's their wedding vision. Wedding Vision. 

If I hear that any more I'm going to vomit.

JCbride2015

Haha, but the example invitation says "Adult reception to follow."  Fail.

Inkdancer

They get a gold star for trying.

JCbride2015

MagicInk said:

Musikalbunni said:

I hate gaps. Just declined an invite that had a wedding gap the size of Arizona. Ceremony was at 11am in a city 40 miles from where I'm at. Reception starts at 6pm in a city 15 miles from where I'm at. Just all over the map - figuratively and realistically speaking. 

Why do people do that?

It's their wedding vision. Wedding Vision. 

If I hear that any more I'm going to vomit.

Or this: "We found the PERFECT venue but our ceremony is at 2pm and the venue won't let us start until 6pm.  But it's PERFECT."

No, if the timing does not work out, it isn't your perfect venue.  Sorry.

theartistformerlyknownas

JCbride2015 said:

MagicInk said:

Musikalbunni said:

I hate gaps. Just declined an invite that had a wedding gap the size of Arizona. Ceremony was at 11am in a city 40 miles from where I'm at. Reception starts at 6pm in a city 15 miles from where I'm at. Just all over the map - figuratively and realistically speaking. 

Why do people do that?

It's their wedding vision. Wedding Vision. 

If I hear that any more I'm going to vomit.

Or this: "We found the PERFECT venue but our ceremony is at 2pm and the venue won't let us start until 6pm.  But it's PERFECT."

No, if the timing does not work out, it isn't your perfect venue.  Sorry.

This. People were defending my step sister only having about 40 chairs for her 140 person reception, saying "well the venue website said the seating capacity was only up to 50, so I guess she did the best she could." No, the "best she could" would have been to find a venue that could fit everyone and not make us all stand for 5 hours!

ETA I cannot take anything that site says seriously after the VERY FIRST SLIDE said "all-to-common mistakes." Seriously people? Where are your proofreaders?

VulgarGirl

lolo883 said:

JCbride2015 said:

MagicInk said:

Musikalbunni said:

I hate gaps. Just declined an invite that had a wedding gap the size of Arizona. Ceremony was at 11am in a city 40 miles from where I'm at. Reception starts at 6pm in a city 15 miles from where I'm at. Just all over the map - figuratively and realistically speaking. 

Why do people do that?

It's their wedding vision. Wedding Vision. 

If I hear that any more I'm going to vomit.

Or this: "We found the PERFECT venue but our ceremony is at 2pm and the venue won't let us start until 6pm.  But it's PERFECT."

No, if the timing does not work out, it isn't your perfect venue.  Sorry.

This. People were defending my step sister only having about 40 chairs for her 140 person reception, saying "well the venue website said the seating capacity was only up to 50, so I guess she did the best she could." No, the "best she could" would have been to find a venue that could fit everyone and not make us all stand for 5 hours!

ETA I cannot take anything that site says seriously after the VERY FIRST SLIDE said "all-to-common mistakes." Seriously people? Where are your proofreaders?

But it was her dream venue and fit her wedding vision of having people stand around!!!

HisGirlFriday13

Inkdancer said:

They get a gold star for trying.

No they don't.

phira

At least the list is in the right direction and says NO CASH BAR. But still.

JellyBean52513

I overheard a client at work talking with my boss about wedding planning, and the client mentioned a gap that will occur between her niece's ceremony and reception (which, to my greatest surprise ever, my boss is not having--even with a Catholic ceremony!). The client said "My niece is just worried that everyone will show up to the reception drunk because they go drinking in between."

It wasn't my conversation to butt into, but in my head I was screaming SHE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE A GAP THEN.

hellohkb

I cringed at the "Go Ethnic" suggestion if a couple can't afford an open bar all night. I understand what they mean, but it just sounds a little weird.

crunchymamaof2

hellokellybean said:

I cringed at the "Go Ethnic" suggestion if a couple can't afford an open bar all night. I understand what they mean, but it just sounds a little weird.

Okay, never heard that term before. What on earth does that mean? Lol

hellohkb

@crunchymamaof2 They meant to have a "theme" with the alcohol, such as only offering Mexican beers. Its kind of a weird suggestion, though! Why not just offer beer and wine?

Inkdancer

hellokellybean said:

@crunchymamaof2 They meant to have a "theme" with the alcohol, such as only offering Mexican beers. Its kind of a weird suggestion, though! Why not just offer beer and wine?

Specifically, they said to match it with the food. So offer Cerveza and margaritas with a taco bar, or white and red wine to go with your pasta dishes.

crunchymamaof2

@inkdancer @hellokellybean other than he matchy matchy aspect, how is that any different than a limited bar?? What a stupid way to portray it. "Yay go ethnic!!!"

Inkdancer

I don't think it's much different. I think it's just a way to make some people feel better about it. "Oh, it's not a limited bar, it's themed!"

pinkshorts27

Inkdancer said:

I don't think it's much different. I think it's just a way to make some people feel better about it. "Oh, it's not a limited bar, it's themed!"

Well we know how brides just love their themes

emmaaa

The list isn't bad. I wasn't fond of "Don't skimp on wedding party gifts." Yes, we all know we should give our wedding party a gift. But I truly believe it is the thought, not the price tag, that counts when it comes to any gift.

Cookie Pusher

I've been going back and looking at the last few etiquette questions that Brides has put on Facebook, and they've actually given some decent advice. The problem, of course, is with the special snowflakes who insist that their situation is so different and what they're doing isn't rude or tacky because their friends and family told them it was okay.

KatieinBkln

Cookie Pusher said: I've been going back and looking at the last few etiquette questions that Brides has put on Facebook, and they've actually given some decent advice. The problem, of course, is with the special snowflakes who insist that their situation is so different and what they're doing isn't rude or tacky because their friends and family told them it was okay.

Speaking of this--since when do friends and family get to say what's rude and what's not? There are actual rules to this stuff! People can disagree on the implementation, but etiquette isn't a democracy. We don't poll our loved ones and have them vote on whether our actions are legit. Some people don't mind breaches of etiquette, and that is totally cool for them and their lives. But to claim that "My loved ones and I don't care and therefore that means it's not in breach" is just bad logic, dammit! If snowflakes said, "Hey, I guess I'm being tacky, but you know, I'm comfortable with it" I could deal. It's the magical thinking that somehow when they do it it ceases to be tacky that drives me insane.

ETA fucking paragraphs