Cocktail Reception Wedding

neguenther · May 2014

My fiance and I are having a hard time deciding whether we should do the traditional sit-down (or buffet) meal at our wedding, or a cocktail/appetizer reception. If we're having our ceremony and reception in one place, how would this transition easily? I don't want guests to be hungry (which if they'd read the invite they'd hopefully understand "cocktail and hor'd." means not a full meal is served) but I also don't want guests to come already so full that our hor'ds. get wasted. *Side note: a good majority of our guests are big drinkers...so we also don't want people hanging from the ceiling before the night is over

Have any of you done your reception this way? If so, what did you like and not like about it?

sofakingmad · May 2014

You need to make sure that you don't have the wedding/reception during dinner time. Shoot for a later evening wedding like around 8ish. I always thought that the cocktail reception was an awesome concept, until I went to one. They of course did it over meal time and promised VERY heavy apps, but it was not enough and everyone was starving.

Edited to add: Of course if you are having enough apps to constitute a meal, then you can have it at dinner time, but it doesn't sound like that's what you were thinking.

Edited again, because my sentence didn't make sense.

VulgarGirl · May 2014

What @DragonBlood13 said. As long as it's not over a meal time, it can work. Also still make sure there are places for people to sit down. Even if it isn't a full meal, people like to sit.

ShallowSeas · May 2014

What time is your reception? Because that is the deciding factor in this. If your wedding and reception is not during a meal time, then having a cocktail/appetizer reception would be fine. If your wedding/reception is during a meal time, then a meal should be served.

As far as plated or buffet, both are fine and both have their pros/cons. Have you sent invites out already or are you just saying that if you do cocktails and appetizers that you would put this information on the invites?

manateehugger · May 2014

Yeah, what's your timeline here. If your reception falls within dinner-time range, doing a cocktail concept needs to be very carefully done to make sure there is enough food to constitute a dinner-sized meal. Otherwise, push back your ceremony until 8ish. When you say having the ceremony and reception in the same place, do you mean in the same room? Or just in the same venue?

melbenso · May 2014

If you have a cocktail and hors d'oeuvres reception, you can put "cocktails and hors d'oeurves to follow" rather than "reception to follow" at the bottom of your invitation to cue guests in.

But you also want to get more servings of appetizers than you would if you were also serving a meal.

Most suggestions I've seen say between 5 and 8 servings per guest per hour if you are serving a meal (depending on how heavy the meal is) and between 12 and 20 servings per guest per hour if you are not serving a meal. If your guests are heavy drinkers, I'd err on the side of having more apps.

Check out these links for more info:

http://www.atasteful-affair.com/resources/partyplanning.html

http://whatscookingamerica.net/Appetizers/appetizerhints.htm

short+sassy · May 2014

Totally agree with DragonBlood13. I think a cocktail reception sounds fabulous. I love me some drinks and apppetizers. But only if the wedding starts later in the evening, after a normal dinner time.

If I were your guest invited to something like that, I'd plan to eat a light dinner so my stomach would at least be satisfied, but not full.

chibiyui · May 2014

Cocktail receptions can be awesome, but they need to start much later.

I went to one that had a ceremony time of 6. We had McDonalds before, and were still hungry. Many people were hungry. Don't do that.

Lizzieyounce · May 2014

If the wedding and reception fall during a meal time, then there must be enough food to constitute a meal. You can do heavy hors d' oeuvres, but you do have to have enough to constitute a full meal. This will usually be more expensive than a plated meal or a buffet.

Our reception was held at an awesome bar (Nouveau Antique Art Bar in Houston), and we wanted a cocktail party feel for it, so what we did was have a selection of passed hot and cold apps for cocktail hour, then we did a buffet that consisted of mostly stations…mashed potato bar, a station of carved prime rib that could be put on these mini croissants with really nice condiments like chutneys, etc. We had hot crab dip on crostini, a layout of cheeses and fruits, chicken bites with different dips like gravy or sweet and sour sauce, and all sorts of substantive choices. We even had mini salads already in individual bowls with the cutest little forks and some pastas too.

Everyone was well fed, and most of us are big drinkers, too. I was stuffed!

Just make sure that there is enough food for everyone to eat well, and enough seats for every butt.

It really just depends on your budget. Ours was pretty tight, but I'd budgeted 60% of what I had to spend on food and bar anyway.

Fairyjen1 · May 2014

One of my favorite weddings I've been to had heavy apps and cocktails. It did start later, but there was more than enough food to constitute a meal. I also know it cost more than a sit down dinner would have.

climbingsingle · May 2014

If I was invited to a wedding and the invite said cocktail reception, I would understand that it meant only appetizers and hors d'oevres. I also agree that the timing is very important. It needs to be held not during what's considered a meal time.

jenfb · November 2014

Make sure that the reception is not during lunch or dinner time, otherwise you need to provide a full meal. Also, make sure there is enough seating, no one wants to stand for 3-4 hours in heels. I've been to two cocktail & appetizers wedding receptions held in the afternoon (1pm-4, 2-5). And I loved both! So much so, that that's what my fiancé and I are planning for our wedding. Both weddings were fun, we had cocktails and mingled our way through the room. Much more fun than the traditional, formal, dinner reception.