Possibly lots of family weddings around the same time

[Deleted User]

So I have no idea if this even is a problem or not. Its just not something that has ever happened in my family before. 

I come from a big family (I am talking about my extended family here). Lots of cousins ranging from Mid 40's to 7 years old. However, there are a few of us that are around my age and three of us have been in long term relationships for a few years now. One of my cousin's has announced his wedding date will be some time in late October 2016. Another one of my cousins just got engaged. I know she will want to get married within a year so between April and October 2015. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have always been planning on getting married in October of 2015, we just haven't gotten around to making our engagement official. Obviously since our engagement is not official and both of my cousins' are, my boyfriend and I will be moving our date.

Here is my question. Would it be rude or wrong of me (somehow) to make my wedding March or April 2016? That would be about 6 months in between the weddings but I don't know if that is an appropriate amount of time between them.

Our family is very close and very old fashioned. I want my WHOLE family to come and completely enjoy my day but I also want them to completely enjoy the day of my cousins' as well. 

Like I said this situation hasn't really come up in my family before and I haven't been able to find anything that would help me figure out if I can just shove my wedding in there or if I should wait until 2017 (which I really am not super happy with but will do if it is the right thing to do)?

lyndausvi

I also come from a large extended family.  There was a few years there where we were going to weddings every 5-7 months.   That seems like a good spread between weddings for us.  We were the only OOT ones, I don't think the local cousins would have had a problem with weddings being closer,  Unless there was 2 weddings within the same family unit and that was more for financial reasons *.  

*NOTE - In my family parents still very much so help pay for their kid's weddings, siblings often are in weddings so expenses can add up if 2 siblings got married in a short period of time.  Not all families are like that. 

[Deleted User]

Your family sounds a lot like mine. You made me feel better about this. Thank you!!

lyndausvi

One year my aunt had 8 weddings between June and July.   Some were family, some were not, it's annoying, but not a deal breaker.   They were all local so as guests they just showed up.   

 It starts becoming a "problem" when you are a member of the WP, a parent helping to pay for the wedding, coming from OOT or any combination of those.  Those are where the real expenses come in.

pinkshorts27

icdiana said:

So I have no idea if this even is a problem or not. Its just not something that has ever happened in my family before. 

I come from a big family (I am talking about my extended family here). Lots of cousins ranging from Mid 40's to 7 years old. However, there are a few of us that are around my age and three of us have been in long term relationships for a few years now. One of my cousin's has announced his wedding date will be some time in late October 2016. Another one of my cousins just got engaged. I know she will want to get married within a year so between April and October 2015. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have always been planning on getting married in October of 2015, we just haven't gotten around to making our engagement official. Obviously since our engagement is not official and both of my cousins' are, my boyfriend and I will be moving our date.

Here is my question. Would it be rude or wrong of me (somehow) to make my wedding March or April 2016? That would be about 6 months in between the weddings but I don't know if that is an appropriate amount of time between them.

Our family is very close and very old fashioned. I want my WHOLE family to come and completely enjoy my day but I also want them to completely enjoy the day of my cousins' as well. 

Like I said this situation hasn't really come up in my family before and I haven't been able to find anything that would help me figure out if I can just shove my wedding in there or if I should wait until 2017 (which I really am not super happy with but will do if it is the right thing to do)?

Each person only gets one day. One day. That is it. So you can schedule your wedding in Oct 2015 or any day you damn well please. I would choose not to schedule on the same day (or weekend just to be nice) as your cousin, but they don't get to reserve a month or half month.

twitterbird

My best friend has 3 first cousins getting married this summer alone. And 2 more next year. It happens when you have large families and cousins around the same age.

phira

Why can't you have your wedding in October 2015?

I think that you're overthinking things a little, and worrying a little too much about something way out of your control. Basically, you sound worried that, if you get married "too close" to another cousin, some of your family members will be upset, and/or some of them will not attend your wedding.

I have a pretty big extended family. Not as big as yours, I'm guessing, but it's not small. There are three weddings this year--

January 2013: Cousin Amy got engaged

February 2013: J and I decided to be engaged by the fall and married in November 2014

April 2013: Amy booked her venue for July 2014

July 2013: Cousin Danny bought a ring to propose to his girlfriend

August 2013: I got engaged

September 2013: I booked our venue for November 2014

December 2013: Danny got engaged

January 2014: I sent save the dates

February 2014: Amy sent save the dates

February 2014: Danny booked his venue for October 2014

May 2014: Danny sent save the dates

July 2014: Amy will get married

October 2014: Danny will get married

November 2014: I will get married

We're all excited. No one is upset.

One thing I'm a little bummed about is that Danny's sister, who didn't make it to my brother's wedding a few years back, likely will only go to Danny's wedding. We haven't seen her in a long time, and she has to travel for all three weddings (whereas Amy and I are having our weddings in the same area, where most of our extended family lives). So it's unlikely she'll be at my wedding, which means I'm not going to be able to get The Photo of All of My Family Members. But it's not a horrible thing.

Until you're engaged, this is kind of moot, but once you're engaged, as long as you're not getting married the same day or weekend, then it's FINE. You're not being rude. You're not stealing thunder. Just pick the date you want.

insertusernamehere

As long as you're not making people travel a lot (like states away) in a short amount of time, you should be fine. My family is the same way, and weddings and babies come in waves. Three of my cousins gave birth within two weeks of each other, and in 2010 we attend 4 weddings between summer and fall!

melbelleup

My family is huge... my brother and I are getting married 3 weeks apart. No one seemed to complain yet

climbingsingle

You've over thinking this. Each couple gets one day. My cousin is getting married 3 weeks before me. It's really not a big deal. 

MandyMost

Yes, you only get a day, but out of respect for people's time I think you should make every attempt for your wedding to be at least 2 weeks away from a close friend or family member's. If the person is VERY close (as it sounds like they are), and the majority of the guests-in-common will need to travel for BOTH weddings, then it would be ideal if you could manage at least 1-2 months between the weddings.

But first of all, if you are ready to marry someone you should get engaged. And once engaged, you should survey all of your VIPs (which it sounds like would include these other couples) and pick your date. 

kgd7357

I think your plan to go square in the middle is very reasonable. I'm the last of three pretty close family weddings (Sept 2013, May 24th 2014, and June 28th 2014). People just do their best. The sister of the May 24th girl can't come to mine since she'd be flying to the east coast twice in a short period, but it's no big deal.

kitty8403

First, if you aren't engaged and you have no venue/officiant/time off commitments in place for a wedding, I don't think this is something to worry about yet. You're more than a year out.

Second, are you sure you and your SO share the same timetable about getting married? October of 2015 seems oddly specific. Is there some significance to that time?

Third, IF you get engaged over the next few months, and IF this becomes an issue, and IF a venue you like that fits your guest list is open, and IF you both really want to get married at a specific time, then that is OK. You are allowed to get married whenever you choose. Your cousin or whoever does not own the month her wedding is in. If you want certain close family/friends to be there, though, then the chances of them being able to come see you will be much better if you ask them for their input before finalizing a date.

Bubblegum5586

My cousin and I got married 6 weeks apart and that ended up feeling like a lifetime! I think it's nice you are being so considerate but do not wait to 2017 if that is not what you want. I think a few weeks between weddings is more then considerate!

If someone plans for a 2 year engagement they can't possibly think that everyone else is going to wait 2 years to get married!!!

yogablossom

I think anything goes, really. My cousin got engaged 2 weeks after me and is getting married exactly 2 weeks after me--and we're in each other's wedding! It'll be a wedding-filled year of planning and then celebrating