I'm Catholic Marrying a Lutheran (Missouri Synod) Man (His dad is a Pastor)

efritsch

I will be marrying my fiance next year.  I was born and raised Catholic and I feel I am a religious person.  My faith is very important to me.  My fiance is Lutheran, Missouri Synod.  He is very religious and his father is a pastor.  We have already decided that his father will marry us and I am excited about this.  We are struggling with what religion our kids will be.  I know I want to go to church every Sunday with my family, together.  We both agree that going to church on Sundays is something special and should be done together.  My fiance said he would never convert and I knew this because his dad is a pastor and he is more religious than I am.  I feel that if I were to leave the catholic church I would be betraying my religion and my family... We have discussed the main differences between our religions, but I am still having a hard time thinking about converting because my entire family is Catholic.  I am wondering if anyone has been in this situation or knows anyone that has been in this situation that could give me some advise?

monkeysip

I haven't been in this situation, but I would think about WHY your faith is important to you.  Your family shouldn't be the reason you stay Catholic.  It should be because you truly believe in Catholic teachings.

Just to give you some information, you could get a dispensation to marry in your FI's lutheran church, but you'll need to ask your parish priest.  And your FI would NOT have to convert for you to be validly married in the Catholic Church.  Also, IF you chose to marry validly in Catholicism, and want to continue practicing your faith, you'd be expected to raise your children Catholic.  Just trying to give you all the facts for your decision.

I don't think anyone can give you an answer here.  I would just advise you to keep learning about your own faith and do some praying and soul-searching.  You could have an inter-faith marriage as well (it's totally possible!), but it would require a lot of understanding on both your parts.

mrsmorales2be

Talk to your priest and maybe a spiritual director as well.  You definitely need to work through this sooner rather than later.  Taking the FOCCUS inventory, going through a pre-Cana workshop or Engaged Encounter retreat, and getting some pre-marital counseling might help you to get on the same page.  This is definitely something that can cause serious issues down the road.

Racheldh83

If you do get married outside of the church you will no longer be able to receive the Eucharist unless blessed by the Catholic Church that varies parish to parish and it depends on you reasoning as to why you didn't get married there. This is a very hard subject as others have said.i just joined the church coming from a Methodist background. You'll have to have some deep conversations with fi so they don't turn in problems later on.

monkeysip

Racheldh83 said:

If you do get married outside of the church you will no longer be able to receive the Eucharist unless blessed by the Catholic Church that varies parish to parish and it depends on you reasoning as to why you didn't get married there. This is a very hard subject as others have said.i just joined the church coming from a Methodist background. You'll have to have some deep conversations with fi so they don't turn in problems later on.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say here.  If she marries outside the Catholic Church, without a dispensation, then she is considered outside of communion with the Church, and therefore, should not receive the eucharist at ANY parish.  It doesn't depend on the parish.  Of course, it's not like parishes have police for that sort of thing, but I would hope no one in good conscience would go receive the eucharist anyway, knowing they're not supposed to.

professorscience

Maybe she meant the ease with which one validates such a marriage varies from parish to parish?

monkeysip

professorscience said:

Maybe she meant the ease with which one validates such a marriage varies from parish to parish?

Ooooooohhh.... yes, that makes a lot more sense!  

Yes, parishes can convalidate the marriage, but only if you had a good reason to marry outside the Church in the first place.

Racheldh83

Yes that was what I was saying thanks for the help:) I've heard of some churches being more strict on that then others.. Some flat out denying them.