Cat with only child syndrome

jenna8984

So FI and I are getting major puppy fever. We'd like to have one all house trained and behaved before we have kids (in about 2 years). Only problem is we have a cat that absolutely hates all other animals. I got her in college and it was just her for the first 2 years. Once I graduated, I lived with 5 different roommates (diff apartments) who each had a cat or a dog and she hated all of them. Not hate in a mean, attacking way....she gets anxiety and runs from them and hides all day. She's always on edge that she's going to be attacked, even though all the other animals were sweethearts who just wanted to snuggle and play with her. None were mean and she never warmed up to any of them. Since being back alone her demeanor is totally different. She is relaxed and cuddly and never on edge. So we don't know what to do...we would love a dog and get him trained before kids arrive but I feel horrible putting Kitty through that stress. She's 9 so she probably only has <5 years left but that seems like forever to wait. What do you think/ what would you do? 

CMGragain

I would wait.  We added a second cat to our household many years ago, and the original cat responded by marking territory around the house.  Nothing like stale cat pee on a warm Sunday afternoon!  They never did like each other.

mrsmorales2be

My cats are just the opposite - I had to get a second cat because my first cat was so lonely after my BSC roommate moved and took her cat with.  When I brought my kitten home, my big boy was ecstatic.  

At your cat's age, and with a history of not tolerating other animals well, it wouldn't be good to introduce another animal into your home.  The only question I have about the previous history is if any of the other animals your cat was exposed to were kittens/puppies.  Sometimes kittens/puppies are easier for an established pet to accept since they're not threatening.  Maybe annoying, since they like to play all the time, but more easily tolerated.

FI and I can't wait to get a puppy either, btw.  Good luck!

sweetwisconsin

When FI and I first started dating, his cat and my dog (in sig below) hated each other. Jackie his cat wouldn't even come upstairs when I was over at his house with my dog. It took almost a year before they warmed up to one another. I always felt so bad for Jackie because she is generally pretty friendly. It is a really a gamble if you get a dog. As @CMGragain pointed out, cats can get territorial and mark.

lizandmark2014

I would wait.

themuffinman16

My sister got a kitten , and even though she had another cat, the new cat was extremely territorial. The cat was peeing EVERYWHERE.  They never use their basement because they have a much drier barn.  When they did go down there, they realized the territorial cat had been urinating and defecating in their basement for months.  It would even pee on the babies diaper bag, because it was very jealous of the new baby. They eventually had to get rid of the cat when it urinated and defecated all over the baby's room and scratched their son. Your cat might be okay with kids, but if it is territorial with animals, I would not bring another pet into the house.  

lc07

My cat is 18! So you may have even longer. Do you have the option to foster a dog before adopting it to see if you could introduce them and have it go well? Perhaps there's a way to do the introduction process so that your cat would feel comfortable?

jenna8984

Thanks guys. I should probably just stick it out and wait. She never marked when she lived with any of the other animals. She was never the dominant one trying to say "this is my home" it was always just her cowering and hiding.

@lc07 wow that is an old cat!! My best friend has brought over her tiny little friendly Maltese pup for an hour and even then my cat was terrified so fostering probably would do no good in getting her comfortable. Not sure why she's such a scaredy cat but oh well, I love her!!

@themuffinman16 eeeew that really stinks! I was single and living with my brother when my nephew was born and my cat was super ok with the baby. So I think she will be good with that lucky.

tortoisebride

Firstly, cats regularly live to 17-19. 9 is like human 40's. Stuff is getting stiff but she's hardly at death's door. Increased likelihood of cancer or thyroid or kidney issues in the next 4 years, yes. But I'd consider anything under 13 to be young for a cat to die.

When you chose to have a cat, you took on a responsibility for her well being. If you know that getting a dog would make her life worse, I'm sorry, but it'd be a very irresponsible and unkind thing to do.

Once you have kids and your cat has passed on probably, you can get a puppy. Maybe your kids will be old enough to begin learning how to train a dog and be responsible pet owners themselves. That would be a better lesson for them.

emmyg65

We had a dilemma like this. I really, really wanted a dog, but our cat is very high-needs and anxious. Ultimately, we decided that it would be cruel to her. Also, since we're having children in the near future, it just wasn't the right time to add a dog. Unless you love dogs and you've always owned them, it's a lot easier to wait till your kids are a little older. Otherwise, you risk ignoring the dog when you're in the trenches with babies/toddlers, which is also cruel.

jenna8984

@tortoisebride & @emmyg65 Thanks! Great points! It would be a little cruel to Kitty which I don't want to do, I really love her. Also I've never owned a dog so I am a little worried about the level of commitment. That transition will likely be easier once we already have kids and are used to being "tied down" and maybe even when they are old enough to help out. Thanks again.

ShesSoCold

I agree 100% with @tortoisebride. 

I'm starting to get over myself and my want for another dog. My dog would prefer to be the only dog and as bad as I want a puppy, I don't want Edna to have to feel like someone else is taking her things/house/parents. 

It sucks, but it comes with the commitment to the pet and being a good dog/cat mom/dad. 

ElcaB

jenna8984 said:

@tortoisebride & @emmyg65 Thanks! Great points! It would be a little cruel to Kitty which I don't want to do, I really love her. Also I've never owned a dog so I am a little worried about the level of commitment. That transition will likely be easier once we already have kids and are used to being "tied down" and maybe even when they are old enough to help out. Thanks again.

The commitment is HUGE. Imagine how much time you think you'll spend on being a dog owner and multiply it by 15, then add two hours and that's how much time you'll actually spend on it.