I have the
most perfect fiancé in the entire world. He is the sweetest most darling golden
hearted man in the world, but he's just a poor broke sole. I’m the breadwinner and
it’s fine with me. He works very hard and is planning to go back to college to
finish his degree, but he makes a pathetic living. LOL. We fell in love very
quickly and hard so that after a few months of dating, he decided he wanted to
marry me and wanted to know what kind of ring I wanted. So I was very sensitive
to his money situation and I picked out a blue stone Claddagh ring for a $150
at amazon that I knew could be used as both a wedding ring and engagement ring;
depending how you wore it. In Europe that would be fine and I grew up in Europe
most of my life. But ever since he’s given me that ring, I am finding myself
having to explain myself ALL the time. When we got it, the stone looked very
pretty but very cheap and some people even think it might be plastic;
definitely looks plastic. LOL. Everyone looks surprised when I say I’m going to
get married and then they look at my ring and they can’t even say it looks
nice. LOL. I get hit on, because it look like a child’s ring, not something
like a wedding ring for a 40 something. It’s now even embarrassing my fiancé but
I know he will never be able to afford anything else for a long time. Anyhow,
18 years ago, I worked for a hotel in Europe and they absolutely had some weird
craziness for me. The owner and general manager were so wonderful and always
spoiled me; they even paid for my first wedding, even though they told me the
guy was worthless, they paid for everything. When I left, they opened their
vault for me for the first time for anyone and they said, I could pick whatever
I wanted. It was like a treasure filled chest with the most beautiful and
precious things that you only see in the movies. The hotel itself was over 300 years
old and it was all the jewelry that was never claimed throughout the years. There
in the front, as if it was beckoning me was this gorgeous 42 diamond broad
banded wedding ring. The diamonds were so incredibly cut that it was brilliant
sparkling and the gold was 18K. I picked it up, tried it on and it was as if it
was meant for me. I fell in love at first sight. I was married, so I had my own
wedding band and I loved my wedding band but after I got divorced I had thrown
it away and started wearing the band that my two old sweet men let me have. I absolutely
loved my ring and every so often I will still wear it (every time I do, people
just stop and stare because it blinds them), but since a year and a half, I
haven’t because I now wear the Claddagh ring that Chris got me. After getting harassed
for a year about my ring, I asked if Chris would mind if I used my old ring
again for our wedding. He knows the story, he thinks it’s a great one and I
told him I would like him to personalize the ring to make it ours. He wants it
engraved to read: The love of my life.
So what’s the
problem? I feel guilty. Now that I’m 4 weeks away from the wedding, I look at
my plastic looking blue stone and I see the color of his eyes. Same beautiful turquoise
color and suddenly I don’t care anymore about any other ring but the one he
gave me. But I’m torn, because it looks nothing like a wedding ring and I’m tired
of explaining myself and I’m tired of the pathetic looks I get. LOL. But I can’t
see myself without this ring anymore either. He feels awful because the one I got
him, is a ton more expensive; I told him I don’t care about it, but I’m torn. Now
I feel like if I personalize the ring, it’s like cheating, because it’s not
from him. Should I care? I love that ring, but now I am starting to love this
one more and more every day, because it’s what he gave me. What should I do? I
not only feel torn, but I feel awful and guilty for being embarrassed and tired
of explaining myself. Even my family make fun of me. I feel like a toad because
I shouldn’t care what others think and I feel guilty because I feel so selfish and
nasty