Is this normal? Would you attend?

jenna8984

My friend eloped 3 months ago. At the time I sent her a card & check. They are not having any type of celebration party/ after the fact reception. 

I just got an invitation from her mother for a bridal shower. That's fairly improper etiquette, no? I'm leaning towards not going but I'm just not a fan of showers in general lol. 

beethery

That is some presumptuous ass bullshit. If you are already married, you forgo the shower, unless it's a damn baby shower.

Redoooooooonkulous!

ETA: Hell naw. I would not attend lol

AddieCake

No.

SammiNJonni

HisGirlFriday13

No it's not normal and no I would not attend.

And I would RSVP no so fast their heads would spin.

phira

NOPETOPUS.

lyndausvi

normal?  No.  Would I go? no.   

OwningAHome1981

Im thinking the mother has no clue the daughter is already married

jenna8984

Ok good now I don't feel so bad for having no desire to attend. 

NYCMercedes

Another no no no!

jenna8984

OwningAHome1981 said:

Im thinking the mother has no clue the daughter is already married

She used her new married last name on the invitation! 

OwningAHome1981

jenna8984 said:

OwningAHome1981 said:

Im thinking the mother has no clue the daughter is already married

She used her new married last name on the invitation! 

Oh wow then I'm speechless lol. I'm a no as well. The girl is already married so the shower ship has sailed.

APDSS22

Nope and if you don't even like going to properly thrown showers I wouldn't feel the least bit bad about not attending an improperly thrown one. 

theartistformerlyknownas

Nope to the nope.

Fairyjen1

     I wouldn't attend because I don't like showers, not because of the etiquette breach. I tend to not go to showers that are proper. 

    If you don't go because it breaches etiquette do you tell them why or just not go and hope no one else does either so they get the hint? I'm just curious. I always think if I just RSVP no they don't really learn anything unless everyone RSVP's no and you know a lot of people probably won't. I'm trying to figure out that fine line between educating people around me on proper etiquette and being rude myself because I'm pointing out their rudeness. 

alpacalunch

Hellll naw. Married women don't get 'bridal showers'. 

sophhabobopha

grumbledore

Hell to the no.

RebeccaB88

...

Simply Fated

Fairyjen1 said:

     I wouldn't attend because I don't like showers, not because of the etiquette breach. I tend to not go to showers that are proper. 

    If you don't go because it breaches etiquette do you tell them why or just not go and hope no one else does either so they get the hint? I'm just curious. I always think if I just RSVP no they don't really learn anything unless everyone RSVP's no and you know a lot of people probably won't. I'm trying to figure out that fine line between educating people around me on proper etiquette and being rude myself because I'm pointing out their rudeness. 

I honestly really try not to give reasons for my declines, unless asked. And when asked, I try not to sound... holier than thou, I guess? I can't think of the right term. Self-righteous? I give up lol.
Chances are, they know what they are doing is wrong. Common sense should tell them that it's wrong. So, if common sense and her own mother can't educate her, then my input isn't going to do much except piss her off.
Just look how many brides on here throw hissyfits because they don't understand why it's wrong to throw yourself a shower, for instance.
Now, if that friend asked me, "I eloped a few months ago. Would it be wrong of me to have a shower?" then I would tell her what I think.
I honestly think people respond better to solicited advice moreso than unsolicited.

FiancB

lilybet13 said:

I would be so embarrassed were I your friend.

ETA: Something I could see happening in my family is someone fussing about everything that person everyone else "the eloper" missed out on until she gave in.

Yeah I kinda see this as being mom's doing. Yikes. No I would not attend. Showers are kind of lame in the best of circumstances. You already congratulated and sent gifts and UM she's already married so no way jose. 

Jells2dot0

lilybet13 said:

I would be so embarrassed were I your friend.

ETA: Something I could see happening in my family is someone fussing about everything that person everyone else "the eloper" missed out on until she gave in.

I agree, but you know what? That is too damn bad for the family. When two adults make a decision to elope or have a private wedding, everyone needs to accept the decision and move on. I'm sure the couple had their reasons. Guilting them into things that go against their wishes or just flat out making the couple feel bad is rude, selfish, and immature. So, I hope this bride isn't being made to feel like she messed up and needs to redo their wedding. If it were me, I'd tell everyone to get over themselves. As a "guest", I'd also not attend the shower.

Jen4948

Ah, let me see.....Um, well, hmmm......

No.

OnceUponAVine

Is this normal? -Nope!

Would you attend? - Double Nope!

FiancB

Maybe they eloped because mom is a control freak that throws parties without input...