Wedding Etiquette Forum

Wedding Hotel Room

My friends who are getting married next month recently invited my boyfriend and I to stay in the wedding party hotel after their wedding.. The hotel has a small number of rooms of varying size and amenities ranging from suites with jacuzzi tubs and balconies to very modest rooms with one bed and no windows. My boyfriend and I were assigned to the smallest and least luxurious of all the rooms available. I am happy to stay in this room, but they are asking each of us to pay the same exact amount for all the rooms. So I will be paying just as much to stay in my modest, windowless, no frills room as others who will be enjoying balconies and jacuzzi tubs. I find this a little off putting and offensive. Am I wrong in feeling this way? Is this normal practice for weddings?
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Re: Wedding Hotel Room

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I'm curious...how do you know that everyone is being asked to pay the same price for a room, no matter what amenities it does or doesn't have?

    But yeah, I can see how that would be annoying.  I'm not sure that you should bring it up though-I don't know that it would do any good.
  • I have never heard of this. The only thing similar that I have seen is when the bride/groom block off hotel rooms. But in that case the guests would just pay to the hotel for which ever room they reserve. Personally I would be pretty upset if I was staying in a room that didn't even have a window and  I was paying just as much as someone who got a nice Jacuzzi tub/balcony room.

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  • The bride and groom sent out a list of who was staying in what room and they asked for a specific flat rate from everyone to be sent to them directly. The price is $275 per room.
  • If it was me, I would call the hotel to see what they would charge for the room you're getting. And then please report back to us because I am very curious.
    misshart00indianaalumluckysnorkelemmyg65
  • The rooms come as part of a package with the wedding venue. You buy a package for X amount of dollars and get X amount of hotel rooms to use. The rooms vary in size and amenities.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    Just get your own room. I would not pay $275 for a tiny room with limited amenities. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    indianaalumluckysnorkelpinkshorts27RebeccaB88
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    Say, "Thank you very much for thinking of us but we will make our own plans." Myself, I would ask her why she's charging us for her wedding. This is no favor. It is definitely "off putting and offensive." It sounds to me as though they are trying to recoup some of the venue cost.
    indianaalumd2valuckysnorkelpolly212
  • I would only pay the $275 if I knew it guaranteed me the same access to the amenities that everyone else got, as in I could use the jacuzzis or the balconies regardless of where I put my pillow.  Otherwise, I'd let the B&G know that you'll be making other arrangements.
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  • I would decline the room and book my own. AnD if that costs her money, then that's on her and her poor planning.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    lizandmark2014RebeccaB88
  • edited May 2014
    Yeah this is not a perk or honor for you, this is her charging ya'll for what she was responsible for as part of booking her wedding there. Not cool. I'm sure you're subsidizing the cost of those other rooms, and you're all subsidizing the cost of her venue.

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    indianaalum
  • Sounds like this is a venue buyout of all the rooms and they are trying to recpup costs. Are there other hotel options in the area?
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  • Recoup I mean
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  • phiraphira member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    My friends who are getting married next month recently invited my boyfriend and I to stay in the wedding party hotel after their wedding.. The hotel has a small number of rooms of varying size and amenities ranging from suites with jacuzzi tubs and balconies to very modest rooms with one bed and no windows. My boyfriend and I were assigned to the smallest and least luxurious of all the rooms available. I am happy to stay in this room, but they are asking each of us to pay the same exact amount for all the rooms. So I will be paying just as much to stay in my modest, windowless, no frills room as others who will be enjoying balconies and jacuzzi tubs. I find this a little off putting and offensive. Am I wrong in feeling this way? Is this normal practice for weddings?
    Either they're inviting you (and you can decline) and letting you know how much it costs, or they're demanding that you stay in that room and they should be paying for it.

    Some people are very, very into having everyone in the wedding party stay with them the night before the wedding. The consensus on these forums is that it's really not okay to require it, and it's not okay to make people pay for the accommodations. So no, this isn't really normal at all.

    In your shoes, I would just decline and say you'll find your own accommodations. I think it's really unreasonable that everyone in the group has to pay the same rate, but I wouldn't address that with the couple--just, "No thanks."
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    lc07
  • I would never ever pay $275 for a hotel room with no window. I'd flat out tell the bride that you and your SO have made other arrangements. You guys can get your OWN room for that price with a window.

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  • scribe95 said:

    P.S. Has anyone ever seen a hotel room without a window? It baffles me.

    This. I'm starting to wonder if this is just a very large house and there's a couple small rooms in the basement that are "bedrooms."
    Rosebubbly
  • I'm with @misshart00‌ maybe it is an old estate house or something. You have been assigned to the former downton abbey servants quarters! Lol! I hope you have other nearby choices OP!
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  • Yeah this is not a perk or honor for you, this is her charging ya'll for what she was responsible for as part of booking her wedding there. Not cool. I'm sure you're subsidizing the cost of those other rooms, and you're all subsidizing the cost of her venue.
    Exactly this.

    I definitely wouldn't stay there.  I don't really like paying that much even for a very nice room... let alone for a tiny room with no window!

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  • This is not normal or customary.  This is the couple trying to get you to pitch in for the wedding venue.  It's really inappropriate of them to ask you for money at all.  If guests rent rooms, they should be paying the hotel directly.

    I would decline and book a room elsewhere.  Not only would I not be sleeping in a room with no window (it's a safety hazard), but I wouldn't spend that kind of money for one night in a hotel to attend a wedding.  
    luckysnorkel
  • I thought it was illegal for a bedroom to not have windows?  I just remember watching renovation shows in which they were required to install a window for the room to count as a "bedroom".  I would guess it would be the same for hotels/bed and breakfast places.

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    HesterliciousrsbloomOliveOilsMomInkdancer
  • Wow, I would call your friend and let her know that while you're happy she wants to include you, $275 for a hotel is not in your budget. Then book a room some place else.
  • mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    monkeysip said:
    I thought it was illegal for a bedroom to not have windows?  I just remember watching renovation shows in which they were required to install a window for the room to count as a "bedroom".  I would guess it would be the same for hotels/bed and breakfast places.


    Stupid box.  I'm pretty sure it is illegal because you need two exits from the room in case of fire.  the door counts as one so unless you have a second door you would need a window.  I even saw a renovation show where they had to remove the window because it wasn't large enough for a person to fit through.  They had to enlarge the hole and put in a new one.  

    ETF: Typos
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    indianaalumHesterliciousrsbloomKeptInStitches
  • casey8784casey8784 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    monkeysip said:
    I thought it was illegal for a bedroom to not have windows?  I just remember watching renovation shows in which they were required to install a window for the room to count as a "bedroom".  I would guess it would be the same for hotels/bed and breakfast places.
    It's completely illegal to have a bedroom without a window! Also, the windows put in bedrooms have a specific minimum size, so the people in that room can easily get out of the room through it. 

    I would absolutely not stay in a hotel that has rooms like that, and depending on my mood, would probably contact the local city hall/permits board to report it. 

    ETA: it's illegal in private residences, let alone in public buildings. I don't even want to think about the shit-storm that something like a fire would cause and the subsequent liability at this hotel...I deal with enough of liability and building codes at work, if I'm on vacation I don't want to have to worry about stuff like this...
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  • phiraphira member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    mysticl said:
    monkeysip said:
    I thought it was illegal for a bedroom to not have windows?  I just remember watching renovation shows in which they were required to install a window for the room to count as a "bedroom".  I would guess it would be the same for hotels/bed and breakfast places.


    Stupid box.  I'm pretty sure it is illegal because you need two exits from the room in case of fire.  the door counts as one so unless you have a second door you would need a window.  I even saw a renovation show where they had to remove the window because it wasn't large enough for a person to fit through.  They had to enlarge the hole and put in a new one.  

    ETF: Typos
    So I think it's kind of complicated, but from what I understand, if you were to sell a house or rent an apartment as a 3-bedroom, all of the rooms you are designating bedrooms must have a window. In Boston, that's especially important given the number of students living in off-campus apartments; a lot of landlords will say, "Yeah, this is a 5-bedroom apartment," when it's really a 3 bedroom apartment.

    Anyway, I would not pay almost $300 to stay in a tiny room without windows when I could probably spent a lot less on a decent hotel room. Our hotel room for our wedding night is $275 and it's a suite. With windows.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    phira said:
    mysticl said:
    monkeysip said:
    I thought it was illegal for a bedroom to not have windows?  I just remember watching renovation shows in which they were required to install a window for the room to count as a "bedroom".  I would guess it would be the same for hotels/bed and breakfast places.


    Stupid box.  I'm pretty sure it is illegal because you need two exits from the room in case of fire.  the door counts as one so unless you have a second door you would need a window.  I even saw a renovation show where they had to remove the window because it wasn't large enough for a person to fit through.  They had to enlarge the hole and put in a new one.  

    ETF: Typos
    So I think it's kind of complicated, but from what I understand, if you were to sell a house or rent an apartment as a 3-bedroom, all of the rooms you are designating bedrooms must have a window. In Boston, that's especially important given the number of students living in off-campus apartments; a lot of landlords will say, "Yeah, this is a 5-bedroom apartment," when it's really a 3 bedroom apartment.

    Anyway, I would not pay almost $300 to stay in a tiny room without windows when I could probably spent a lot less on a decent hotel room. Our hotel room for our wedding night is $275 and it's a suite. With windows.
    Heck, we just paid $87 a night for 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom (with jacuzzi tub) condo in Orlando.  The place had a full kitchen, a balcony, we shared a laundry room with one other condo and the property had 2 pools.  
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  • i'm curious as to the name of this "hotel".

    Wedding Black & White, Sepia
  • The bride and groom sent out a list of who was staying in what room and they asked for a specific flat rate from everyone to be sent to them directly. The price is $275 per room.
    book you own for sure
  • rsbloomrsbloom member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Book your own room, that's crazy!  

    And it is definitely against fire code to not have a window large enough for you to get through in an emergency in any room that people are sleeping in.
  • The only reason I asked my wedding party to stay at the same hotel was because that was part of their gift. I payed for their stay. They knew this up front.
  • The only reason I asked my wedding party to stay at the same hotel was because that was part of their gift. I payed for their stay. They knew this up front.

    That wasn't their only gift was it? Please say no.

    As for the OP, I wouldn't be giving that couple a dime.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

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