S/O: Physical displays of affection

sophhabobopha

I love them. (:

sophhabobopha

smalfrie19 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

OK, for those of you who ARE huggers, would you deliberately try to hug someone you know doesn't like to be hugged, or would you respect their personal space?

No. I try to be respectful of people who I know aren't huggers or touchers. That being said, if you don't warn me ahead of time, you may get a hug. It really just kind of depends on how well I know someone.

I would not.

OnceUponAVine

HisGirlFriday13 said:

OK, for those of you who ARE huggers, would you deliberately try to hug someone you know doesn't like to be hugged, or would you respect their personal space?

I'm definitely a touchy person - hugs, cheek kisses, hand holding, friends and I will lay sprawled out of the couch watching movies or during wine nights. But if I know someone prefers their personal space I absolutely respect that - and if someone new to our group looks uncomfortable as we're giving hello/good bye hugs I'll ask them whether or not they're a hugger and respect their response. Doing otherwise is not only rude but can be threatening to some people.

KGold80

I'm a hugger when it comes to family and close friends, but otherwise....no. I'd rather hug someone than shake their hand though. I often have to shake hands when meeting people in business and what-not, but it really grosses me out. I don't know where their hands have been! Did they wash their hands after their last visit to the loo? Who the hell decided a handshake is the appropriate way to greet a stranger anyway? EW EW EW!

JCbride2015

HisGirlFriday13 said:

OK, for those of you who ARE huggers, would you deliberately try to hug someone you know doesn't like to be hugged, or would you respect their personal space?

No, of course not!  If I don't already know that though, you might get touched.  I don't hug people until I know them pretty well, so I'd probably know at that point that you don't want to be hugged.  But I might touch you on the arm or something while we're talking.  It's hard to break that habit.

pinkshorts27

I hug family and very close friends. I discovered in college that when I'm drunk, I hug everyone.

Cookie Pusher

If I know you're not into hugging/touching, I will totally respect that and not do it. But if I don't know, I can't promise much.

beethery

My aunt has told me that I'm "Touched-out"

I hug FI all the time, and I will side hug my mom bye when she leaves work, and the same for my dad if I'm leaving their house. Everyone else is like LET'S HUG BEETHERY BC IT MAKES HER UNCOMFORTABLE 8D and I can feel my very DNA cringing.

If you've ever heard the Brak song DON'T TOUCH ME! It's my theme song.

HisGirlFriday13

Oh, no, pretty much everyone who knows me knows I'm not into it. I'll straight-up tell you, 'I don't hug, sorry!'

DH's grandmother is not/was not (probably still isn't, but I don't see her, so IDGAF) OK with that and was forever trying to hug me and then complaining to DH when I wouldn't let her hug me. 

He was like, 'Yep, she doesn't like to be hugged, you know that, leave her alone.'

But the flip side is that DH and I are very, very touchy-feeling and are always touching each other, so I think that's what bothers her.

Blergbot

So I used to be the biggest hugger. In high school I would hug my friends all the time. My best friend was not a hugger, and I was all like, "I'm totally going to turn you into a hugger!" Now I hug my family and FI, and I do hug my friends, but it seems totally unnatural to me. I don't know when this happened. Now I would never be all huggy on someone who doesn't like hugs.

Inkdancer

HisGirlFriday13 said:

OK, for those of you who ARE huggers, would you deliberately try to hug someone you know doesn't like to be hugged, or would you respect their personal space?

Never. Ex-roomie hated to be hugged. I fist-bumped her or something similar, until she got comfortable enough with me to initiate hugs. The morning she leaped into my bed and started making frog noises at me, I figured hugging was okay.

CMGragain

My mother did not touch me.  When she breathed her last, I embraced her body and kissed her on the cheek.  She never would have permitted that when she was alive. (Did anybody see the conclusion of "Call the Midwives"?)
My husband cannot keep his hands off me.  Our 38th anniversary is next month.  We hug all the time, and hold hands in church.  It really annoys me when I am on the way to the bathroom, and he decides  to grab me!  My bladder is OLD!  I cannot load  the dishes in the dishwasher without him copping a feel.  My body has changed drastically from when we were married, and I am disgusted with myself, but it hasn't slowed him down one bit.
I like being hugged by other people.  Mom never knew what she missed.

sweetwisconsin

I am not really a hugger. FI family loves to hug, but his family is the typical midwestern super friendly type. I grew up on the west coast where you don't even make eye contact with strangers. When we first moved to Wisconsin it weirded me out that everyone says hello to people even when they don't know them. I am looking forward to our wedding in general, but I am not looking forward to all the hugging and greeting I know we have to do. Just the thought of it gives me anxiety.

FiancB

I guess I'm just confused, because my "love language" is touch but I am also an introvert so there is kind of always this internal struggle. Some hugs are awkward and some aren't, whether they're strangers or not. I am a fan of non-awkward hugs, but more often than not I make them awkward.

VulgarGirl

CMGragain said:

My mother did not touch me.  When she breathed her last, I embraced her body and kissed her on the cheek.  She never would have permitted that when she was alive. (Did anybody see the conclusion of "Call the Midwives"?)
My husband cannot keep his hands off me.  Our 38th anniversary is next month.  We hug all the time, and hold hands in church.  It really annoys me when I am on the way to the bathroom, and he decides  to grab me!  My bladder is OLD!  I cannot load  the dishes in the dishwasher without him copping a feel.  My body has changed drastically from when we were married, and I am disgusted with myself, but it hasn't slowed him down one bit.
I like being hugged by other people.  Mom never knew what she missed.

Um, this bolded bit, this made me like so incredibly happy to hear. Seriously, happy and a little teary. Not the part where you don't like your body, but the part where your husband can't keep his hands off you still.

FI is worried about what I'll think about her body when she's pregnant and I'm like "Babe, I do not care, you are always hot to me, you'll still be hot pregnant". 

VulgarGirl

Oh, one thing that drives me nuts, super soft overly gentle hugs. I'm tiny, but guys, I'm not gonna break if you hug me! People who are so gentle hugging me, it feels so awkward, like they're scared of hurting me. I can take it, I'm much stronger then I look.

smalfrie19

sweetwisconsin said:

I am not really a hugger. FI family loves to hug, but his family is the typical midwestern super friendly type. I grew up on the west coast where you don't even make eye contact with strangers. When we first moved to Wisconsin it weirded me out that everyone says hello to people even when they don't know them. I am looking forward to our wedding in general, but I am not looking forward to all the hugging and greeting I know we have to do. Just the thought of it gives me anxiety.

what west coast are YOU living on. That's not how it is in WA state.

VulgarGirl

smalfrie19 said:

sweetwisconsin said:

I am not really a hugger. FI family loves to hug, but his family is the typical midwestern super friendly type. I grew up on the west coast where you don't even make eye contact with strangers. When we first moved to Wisconsin it weirded me out that everyone says hello to people even when they don't know them. I am looking forward to our wedding in general, but I am not looking forward to all the hugging and greeting I know we have to do. Just the thought of it gives me anxiety.

what west coast are YOU living on. That's not how it is in WA state.

I'm west coast too and dude if you make eye contact you will have a conversation. And say hello and smile at everyone. Though I'm in AZ so not right on the coast.

Also I'm jealous of you because I've always wanted to live in WA...or OR. Pacific Northwest calls to me.

FiancB

smalfrie19 said:

sweetwisconsin said:

I am not really a hugger. FI family loves to hug, but his family is the typical midwestern super friendly type. I grew up on the west coast where you don't even make eye contact with strangers. When we first moved to Wisconsin it weirded me out that everyone says hello to people even when they don't know them. I am looking forward to our wedding in general, but I am not looking forward to all the hugging and greeting I know we have to do. Just the thought of it gives me anxiety.

what west coast are YOU living on. That's not how it is in WA state.

Guessing a metro area of CA? Because FI is from "Minnesota nice" and was shocked at how much friendlier and nicer my fellow Oregonians are. lol. 

JCbride2015

smalfrie19 said:

sweetwisconsin said:

I am not really a hugger. FI family loves to hug, but his family is the typical midwestern super friendly type. I grew up on the west coast where you don't even make eye contact with strangers. When we first moved to Wisconsin it weirded me out that everyone says hello to people even when they don't know them. I am looking forward to our wedding in general, but I am not looking forward to all the hugging and greeting I know we have to do. Just the thought of it gives me anxiety.

what west coast are YOU living on. That's not how it is in WA state.

I work in NYC, live in nearby NJ.  Talk about not making eye contact.  

smalfrie19

MagicInk said:

smalfrie19 said:

sweetwisconsin said:

I am not really a hugger. FI family loves to hug, but his family is the typical midwestern super friendly type. I grew up on the west coast where you don't even make eye contact with strangers. When we first moved to Wisconsin it weirded me out that everyone says hello to people even when they don't know them. I am looking forward to our wedding in general, but I am not looking forward to all the hugging and greeting I know we have to do. Just the thought of it gives me anxiety.

what west coast are YOU living on. That's not how it is in WA state.

I'm west coast too and dude if you make eye contact you will have a conversation. And say hello and smile at everyone. Though I'm in AZ so not right on the coast.

Also I'm jealous of you because I've always wanted to live in WA...or OR. Pacific Northwest calls to me.

I have lived here my ENTIRE life. I love it....but the only issue with being THAT friendly all the time is that sometimes we get sort of passive too out of not hurting anyone's feelings...google the "seattle no" sometime lol

Cookie Pusher

JCbride2015 said:

I work in NYC, live in nearby NJ.  Talk about not making eye contact.  

I'm such an oddball - I *always* make eye contact. I don't really care if it's weird. I've worked in high-end sales for a really long time, and it's something that they basically drive into your brain - eye contact and firm handshakes!

erinlin25

I am all for hugs, but will only hug people if I know they are huggers too.  And if I am first meeting someone it is usually a hand-shake, unless they go in for a hug. 

I would hug my cheerleaders/students when necessary-- as in if they needed support or after a victory performance/win etc.  But it was not like we hugged hello and goodbye every day.

manillabar

I'm also pretty introverted but I LOVE hugs... and I've been told I give the best hugs, haha... not sure what that means, but I ain't afraid to give a good squeeze

I grew up in NY and currently live in NJ... once we had a group of teens from south carolina come visit our church in brooklyn.  I was walking to the subway with a couple of them and they kept saying "hi" and waving to everyone on the street.  And of course they were getting the weirdest looks and no one was saying "hi" back and I was like "umm... we don't do that here"

jdluvr06

I'm a touchy feely person. I hug a lot of people. Family, friends, ect. I even hugged a stranger once when I was in college. I usually don't go around hugging strangers but she was really upset and I felt bad for her.

CamiSelene

I'm not a big hugger at all. I will hug FI, family members, and very close friends but feel very awkward giving and receiving hugs beyond that. My srudents are aged 4-6 and they love to hug me so I will hug them back but when I first became a teacher it really bothered me. Now, I can tolerate it but it makes me feel awkward still. I prefer my personal space. I especially hate it when people touch my face or hair (only FI is allowed to do that... and my MoH because she is my best friend and hairdresser. lol)

sweetwisconsin

smalfrie19 said:

sweetwisconsin said:

I am not really a hugger. FI family loves to hug, but his family is the typical midwestern super friendly type. I grew up on the west coast where you don't even make eye contact with strangers. When we first moved to Wisconsin it weirded me out that everyone says hello to people even when they don't know them. I am looking forward to our wedding in general, but I am not looking forward to all the hugging and greeting I know we have to do. Just the thought of it gives me anxiety.

what west coast are YOU living on. That's not how it is in WA state.

@smalfrie19
I lived in a metro area in CA growing up. My mom was also really paranoid about stranger danger. I remember some situations where there were drive by shootings/robbery in our neighborhood. I should have specified which part of the west coast. The midwest might as well be a complete different planet than where I grew up.

I was born in Bremerton WA and I LOVE that area. Beautiful state and wonderful people. I visit family about once a year there and would move there in a heartbeat.

cupcait927

I'm a hugger if I know that the other person is as well. I have big issues with needing my personal space so I don't want to invade someone else's against their will.

ashley8918

I am absolutely NOT a hugger. I hug my kids and occasionally FI (he isn't huggy either).

CMGragain

When our children were born, I encouraged DH to hug them often.  After all, if you don't give them the affection they need, they will go out and find someone else who WILL!  I am convinced that my first disasterous relationship was prompted by the lack of love and affection I had at home.