Posting pictures of someone else's wedding

beachyone15

Hi Girls,
I went to a wedding last weekend (well hosted with great food!). The day after the wedding, one of the MOG's friends posted pictures of the newly married couple on facebook. The couple had not posted anything yet. I guess I just wanted to see if anyone had any strong opinions about this. My mother thought it was in bad taste and I kind of agree, but I realize that you can't control what people want to post. Any thoughts?

HisGirlFriday13

sarah1551 said:

Hi Girls,
I went to a wedding last weekend (well hosted with great food!). The day after the wedding, one of the MOG's friends posted pictures of the newly married couple on facebook. The couple had not posted anything yet. I guess I just wanted to see if anyone had any strong opinions about this. My mother thought it was in bad taste and I kind of agree, but I realize that you can't control what people want to post. Any thoughts?

The bolded is absolutely 100% true. There are threads all the time about people wanting to prevent their guests from posting photos on social media, or taking photos during the ceremony, and you just can't.

That being said, the day of our wedding, the only person who posted any photos of us was my mother, who took some fairly blurry iPhone photos of our first dance and of the father-daughter dance. It didn't bother me, but it was also my mom, so there's that.

The best you can do is set your FB settings so that people can't tag you without your permission, which at least prevents the photo from popping up in people's newsfeeds. 

My strong opinion is that people are going to take and post photos to social media, take photos during the ceremony, and otherwise behave in ways other people find offensive. There's nothing you can do about it, so you kind of have to just let it go.

MamaAlly89

I have seen this happen quite a few times, actually. Guests will even post while the event is still going on. I personally wouldn't mind. I might even be kind of excited to see the pictures people put up. That said, that is just my opinion. I'm sure there are brides out there who might be annoyed by this.

theartistformerlyknownas

I get that people are going to do it, but it would piss me off. My dad posted a picture of my new niece before my sister had a chance to announce her birth, and my other sister and I both pounced and made him delete it. If it's not your news, you have no business sharing it. People should know this.

ElcaB

Eh, I don't think it's a big deal provided it's not of the bride peeing or anything embarassing. What's the big deal?

vk2204

I would hope that people would at least wait until the ceremony is over to post pictures. If you are posting pictures of yourself then I would be okay with that. But I wouldn't post pictures of the wedding itself until the B&G do.

I stood up in a wedding where the MOG took a picture of herself with the bride before the wedding and posted it on FB. Needless to say the bride was furious because her FI saw it before she walked down the aisle.

manateehugger

I don't even remotely understand why this would be a big deal. If the bride and groom don't want things posted of themselves on social media, they should change their settings so that they have to approve all tags. And a wedding is a major life event, public knowledge, and thrown partially for the guests, including some who undoubtedly enjoyed taking pictures. I'm assuming sharing the photo is not some big spoiler to everyone, especially since for every wedding day that comes across my FB feed, there are a gazillion congratulatory posts.

larrygaga

vk2204 said:

I would hope that people would at least wait until the ceremony is over to post pictures. If you are posting pictures of yourself then I would be okay with that. But I wouldn't post pictures of the wedding itself until the B&G do.

I stood up in a wedding where the MOG took a picture of herself with the bride before the wedding and posted it on FB. Needless to say the bride was furious because her FI saw it before she walked down the aisle.

How shitty of her

MamaAlly89

vk2204 said:

I would hope that people would at least wait until the ceremony is over to post pictures. If you are posting pictures of yourself then I would be okay with that. But I wouldn't post pictures of the wedding itself until the B&G do.

I stood up in a wedding where the MOG took a picture of herself with the bride before the wedding and posted it on FB. Needless to say the bride was furious because her FI saw it before she walked down the aisle.

Now that would piss me off!

HisGirlFriday13

vk2204 said:

I would hope that people would at least wait until the ceremony is over to post pictures. If you are posting pictures of yourself then I would be okay with that. But I wouldn't post pictures of the wedding itself until the B&G do.

I stood up in a wedding where the MOG took a picture of herself with the bride before the wedding and posted it on FB. Needless to say the bride was furious because her FI saw it before she walked down the aisle.

This is wrong, but it also seems pretty passive-aggressive on the part of the MOG. My mom, who did take photos before the ceremony, didn't post ANY until after the ceremony, so no one had a chance to see my dress (other than the people I was getting ready with and doing pre-photos with).

The MOG sounds like a peach.

Maggie0829

I think posting a wedding picture is completely different then posting a new baby picture. Some parents do not want pictures of their children posted on social media/internet so to post a picture of someone else's child before you know they are okay with it then, yeah that is a no-no. As for a wedding picture, well it depends on the couple, IMO. If the couple uses social media and posts pictures, etc then I see no harm in posting pictures you took of them. If they do not use social media and tend to keep things more private then you shouldn't post pictures.

climbingsingle

I personally don't see this as a big deal and it's not something I'd get upset about. In fact, I'd be happy to see photos my guests were able to take.

Peaseblossom55

I figure you can't help what people share on FB/social media, but you can adjust your settings to prevent being tagged in pictures and such.

RebeccaFlower

I asked someone what time it was right after our ceremony (trying to stick with the timeline!) and it was 4:22... the first time stamp of facebook pics was 4:24, no joke. I think it's kind of shitty that people think they can post all this stuff for other people but I think weddings are a little different since most people post sometime 'giving away' the date prior. However, births just sound asshole to me. I will say, I happily looked through all of our new pictures the day after our wedding and was thrilled to have some pictures already. 

banana468

I think there's a big difference between what that MOB did and posting a photo of the married couple.

What the MOB did is similar to posting the baby photo or making an announcement that's not hers to make. I think people need to be more aware of that.

Fran1985

HisGirlFriday13 said:

sarah1551 said:

Hi Girls,
I went to a wedding last weekend (well hosted with great food!). The day after the wedding, one of the MOG's friends posted pictures of the newly married couple on facebook. The couple had not posted anything yet. I guess I just wanted to see if anyone had any strong opinions about this. My mother thought it was in bad taste and I kind of agree, but I realize that you can't control what people want to post. Any thoughts?

The bolded is absolutely 100% true. There are threads all the time about people wanting to prevent their guests from posting photos on social media, or taking photos during the ceremony, and you just can't.

That being said, the day of our wedding, the only person who posted any photos of us was my mother, who took some fairly blurry iPhone photos of our first dance and of the father-daughter dance. It didn't bother me, but it was also my mom, so there's that.

The best you can do is set your FB settings so that people can't tag you without your permission, which at least prevents the photo from popping up in people's newsfeeds. 

My strong opinion is that people are going to take and post photos to social media, take photos during the ceremony, and otherwise behave in ways other people find offensive. There's nothing you can do about it, so you kind of have to just let it go.

 

SITB-

 

It doesn't prevent you from popping up in newsfeeds anymore. I see so many pictures in my newsfeed of people who I dont know and aren't tagged.

Fran1985

PDKH said:

I don't even remotely understand why this would be a big deal. If the bride and groom don't want things posted of themselves on social media, they should change their settings so that they have to approve all tags. And a wedding is a major life event, public knowledge, and thrown partially for the guests, including some who undoubtedly enjoyed taking pictures. I'm assuming sharing the photo is not some big spoiler to everyone, especially since for every wedding day that comes across my FB feed, there are a gazillion congratulatory posts.

I really don't think it has anything to do with settings though. My settings are totally private, but if my friend posts a picture of me all of her friends can see it, and it shows up in their news feeds too. and when people like that picture, it shows up in newsfeeds as well. For instance, I liked a picture a photographer took of us. I was not tagged in it. But because I liked it, it showed up in all my friends news feeds, and then they could comment on and like it. Once they like, its on all their friends newsfeeds. I don't really want my ex seeing pictures of me on my wedding day because he was insane, but even though I dropped all of our mutual friends, we still have mutual friend of friends if that makes any sense. Facebook has completely reworked its newsfeed and privacy settings. A post with a lot of likes will get seen by a very, very wide circle.

HisGirlFriday13

Fran1985 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

sarah1551 said:

Hi Girls,
I went to a wedding last weekend (well hosted with great food!). The day after the wedding, one of the MOG's friends posted pictures of the newly married couple on facebook. The couple had not posted anything yet. I guess I just wanted to see if anyone had any strong opinions about this. My mother thought it was in bad taste and I kind of agree, but I realize that you can't control what people want to post. Any thoughts?

The bolded is absolutely 100% true. There are threads all the time about people wanting to prevent their guests from posting photos on social media, or taking photos during the ceremony, and you just can't.

That being said, the day of our wedding, the only person who posted any photos of us was my mother, who took some fairly blurry iPhone photos of our first dance and of the father-daughter dance. It didn't bother me, but it was also my mom, so there's that.

The best you can do is set your FB settings so that people can't tag you without your permission, which at least prevents the photo from popping up in people's newsfeeds. 

My strong opinion is that people are going to take and post photos to social media, take photos during the ceremony, and otherwise behave in ways other people find offensive. There's nothing you can do about it, so you kind of have to just let it go.

 

SITB-

 

It doesn't prevent you from popping up in newsfeeds anymore. I see so many pictures in my newsfeed of people who I dont know and aren't tagged.

Well, hell. Shows what I know.

This is why I just assume everything on FB is essentially public and I don't post anything there I wouldn't be OK with my mother, father, priest, and boss (all of whom I'm FB friends with) seeing. 

And frankly, they're all totally aware of my love of Komodo dragons and coffee. And neither of those is something to be ashamed of.

melbelleup

While AT a ceremony, people were posting pictures of the bride and groom on facebook...continue to look during the reception and there were photos of everything including father daughter dance, cake cutting, first dance, etc. None of the pictures were posted by family members... all friends. I was irked, but I'm pretty sure my cousin didn't mind one bit. It's the perks of technology I guess!

Fran1985

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Fran1985 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

sarah1551 said:

Hi Girls,
I went to a wedding last weekend (well hosted with great food!). The day after the wedding, one of the MOG's friends posted pictures of the newly married couple on facebook. The couple had not posted anything yet. I guess I just wanted to see if anyone had any strong opinions about this. My mother thought it was in bad taste and I kind of agree, but I realize that you can't control what people want to post. Any thoughts?

The bolded is absolutely 100% true. There are threads all the time about people wanting to prevent their guests from posting photos on social media, or taking photos during the ceremony, and you just can't.

That being said, the day of our wedding, the only person who posted any photos of us was my mother, who took some fairly blurry iPhone photos of our first dance and of the father-daughter dance. It didn't bother me, but it was also my mom, so there's that.

The best you can do is set your FB settings so that people can't tag you without your permission, which at least prevents the photo from popping up in people's newsfeeds. 

My strong opinion is that people are going to take and post photos to social media, take photos during the ceremony, and otherwise behave in ways other people find offensive. There's nothing you can do about it, so you kind of have to just let it go.

 

SITB-

 

It doesn't prevent you from popping up in newsfeeds anymore. I see so many pictures in my newsfeed of people who I dont know and aren't tagged.

Well, hell. Shows what I know.

This is why I just assume everything on FB is essentially public and I don't post anything there I wouldn't be OK with my mother, father, priest, and boss (all of whom I'm FB friends with) seeing. 

And frankly, they're all totally aware of my love of Komodo dragons and coffee. And neither of those is something to be ashamed of.

Agree! I have been trying to really cut down my friend list because there are so many people on there, and Facebook is becoming more and more invasive. They also only let you see certain people on your newsfeed that are more active and get more likes. So your college roommate who never posts is never in your newsfeed, but the person who posts 10x a day about their drama is.

Cookie Pusher

They keep "updating" the privacy settings on Facebook to make things less private. It used to be that you could disable the tagging feature completely. Now, all you can do is opt to have the post not show up on your profile. It will still be searchable and visible based on the privacy settings on whoever did the original post. That means that, if your friend with zero privacy filters posts a picture and tags you in it, everyone on the internet can still see it and see you tagged in it (therefore leading back to your profile) until you go and disable the tag manually. It means that strangers can tag you in things without your knowledge. It means that other strangers can then be led to your profile without your knowledge. It's kind of creepy. If my job didn't rely on me to use social media, I would probably abandon it.

sarawifenow

I'm not a big fan of people posting wedding pics before the bride and groom get a chance to. Want to post pictures of yourself at the wedding? Fine! Want to post pics of everything else? Wait!

bethsmiles

I like to post things to Facebook so I wouldn't care at all if someone posted pictures of my wedding on Facebook right after or even during the wedding.

But I wouldn't post pictures of someone else's wedding unless I knew they'd be okay with it. I don't think I've ever posted pictures of someone else's wedding on Facebook.

Dignity100

I'm a pretty private person, so I really don't like to have my life displayed on FB or other Social Media.  I share pictures of my pets, give updates on them, if a joke makes me chuckle I might re-share it, I will post on canine-cancer charity events and I will post on MS charity events -- that's pretty much it.  Because of this, I do not post pictures of my friends or families.  If they choose to post on what's going on in their life, I will comment on their post.

At my wedding, my brother/SIL are active on FB, so if they post, I won't be surprised.  I've made my peace with it already.

theartistformerlyknownas

SaraBrideSoon said:

I'm not a big fan of people posting wedding pics before the bride and groom get a chance to. Want to post pictures of yourself at the wedding? Fine! Want to post pics of everything else? Wait!

SITB.

I agree with this. If it's the next day, it's fair game. The bride and groom have had their chance to share their own news; if they didn't share, oh well. If it's just a picture of you and your honey dressed to the nines, go for it. But posting a pic of the bride walking down the aisle DURING the ceremony? Come on. Every life event doesn't need to be live-blogged and if it did, I should be doing it myself. If it's not your wedding, why do you need to show the world every detail as it happens? They're not your details to brag about, even for the strange internet obsession over being "FIRST!!!1!!1!" at everything.

NavyBlue143

Personally I was glad for the pictures posted by my guests. My photographer was so tardy getting pictures to us (to the point I had to threaten legal action) that the only pictures I had for 4 months were the ones my friends uploaded. That being said, they all waited until the next evening to do so.

mellyD2014

I think it really does vary on the group. I've been to about 10 weddings in the last 18  months and some of them specifically will include hashtags so people can tag the photos on the various social media sites. This way, the bride and groom can easily search through them without having to wait for their friends and family to send them. I actually love that idea and will be using that idea when my FI and I get married in September, but I'm a social media fan in general, so I don't assume everyone will be as gung-ho about it as me. At the end of the day, though, people have always taken photos of other peoples' weddings, they just haven't had the ease of the Internet to share them. 

FiancB

I don't get the big deal and I'm excited to see the pics that people will take and post. The more the merrier. But I do think people need to stay off facebook during the ceremony. Kind of depends on the situation too- everyone we're close to is aware that we're getting married and is invited. If we were eloping in secret, immediately posting pics on facebook would be a bad idea.

thisismynickname2

PDKH said:

I don't even remotely understand why this would be a big deal. If the bride and groom don't want things posted of themselves on social media, they should change their settings so that they have to approve all tags. And a wedding is a major life event, public knowledge, and thrown partially for the guests, including some who undoubtedly enjoyed taking pictures. I'm assuming sharing the photo is not some big spoiler to everyone, especially since for every wedding day that comes across my FB feed, there are a gazillion congratulatory posts.

SITB

This!  I think the difference between this and say, a new baby, is that the wedding is public knowledge for a long time. There is an "engaged" status on Facebook, but there isn't a "pregnant" status. Weddings are public events (public in terms of inviting guests to witness) and births are most certainly not public events. 

This is why I think it's fine for guests to post pictures from the wedding, and that couples certainly should use the Approve Tags feature, and that it's NOT ok to announce someone else's pregnancy or birth.  Announcing someone else's pregnancy or birth is akin to announcing someone else's engagement. 

theartistformerlyknownas

thisismynickname said:

PDKH said:

I don't even remotely understand why this would be a big deal. If the bride and groom don't want things posted of themselves on social media, they should change their settings so that they have to approve all tags. And a wedding is a major life event, public knowledge, and thrown partially for the guests, including some who undoubtedly enjoyed taking pictures. I'm assuming sharing the photo is not some big spoiler to everyone, especially since for every wedding day that comes across my FB feed, there are a gazillion congratulatory posts.

SITB

This!  I think the difference between this and say, a new baby, is that the wedding is public knowledge for a long time. There is an "engaged" status on Facebook, but there isn't a "pregnant" status. Weddings are public events (public in terms of inviting guests to witness) and births are most certainly not public events. 

This is why I think it's fine for guests to post pictures from the wedding, and that couples certainly should use the Approve Tags feature, and that it's NOT ok to announce someone else's pregnancy or birth.  Announcing someone else's pregnancy or birth is akin to announcing someone else's engagement. 

In my example of the birth picture, everyone knew the baby was being born that day. It was a scheduled C-section and not a surprise. But the parent still has the right to be the first one to share her picture, IMO. Dad jumped the gun. (He knew she would eventually share her picture, as she had done with her first child.) And I think I as a bride have the right to share the first picture of myself as a bride. I don't care about keeping my wedding a secret, and I don't care if people post pictures of themselves, but lay off posting pictures of me until I get a chance to. Not your news. Mine.

And the approve tags function doesn't prevent the picture from showing up, it just prevents your tag from being linked to you. If someone posts it and we have 34 mutual friends, all those 34 people and all their friends can see it, regardless of whether I've approved the tag. If one of my friends "likes" it, all of their friends (including our mutual friend) can see it. There is no privacy. People just need to have a little common courtesy. 

SBmini

I LOVED that my guests put pictures up of our wedding! I had a hashtag at the reception and encouraged sharing. I wanted to see the photos. When I got back to my normal life, people who didn't attend wanted to see photos and I had photos to show. It was great. I had no complex or issues about people posting photos before I saw them or before the professional ones. I thought it was great.