Gone forever

AnAngelGoneInsane

So I will try to make this as brief as possible, my grandmother finally decided to give me her match collection. She always had this huge wooden bowl on her table filled with matches, they were from everyplace she has ever traveled, hotels, bars, everywhere. My grandmother had been collecting for 60 plus years, and I loved this, it made me feel close to her. She decided she would give them to me while my parents were visiting (she lives in Germany). 

So..... My dad decided he was going to bring them back... In his carry on. Who thinks its a good idea to have hundreds of match books in a carry on bag!? Long story short they were taken away from him and they are lost forever. I am so sad I know that it's just a material thing but this was the one thing I wanted from my grandmother I don't care about her china or fancy antique furniture just her matches. I have moved on and no longer upset ( I cried when my dad told me) but it made me think someone must have another funny story about a family heirloom gone missing/broken whatever.

So what family item have you gotten that just could not stand the test of time and what is one thing that you have currently that you hope will last long enough for you to pass on?

Edit: all those typos 

CMGragain

Did you call the airport security?  They might be able to rescue them for you.  So sorry!

My Dad died when I was 15.  I wanted his WWII souvenirs, which included and ring he bought in Shanghai, and a samurai sword.  The ring was stolen, and my mother gave the sword to her irresponsible brother.  I looked for it for years.  She kept saying she didn't know what happened to it.  She finally told me the truth the year before she died.  I didn't want any of her crappy costume jewelry or the closet full of clothes - just Dad's sword.  It was auctioned when crazy Uncle John ran off to Canada with his 18 year old girlfriend, abandoning his wife and 4 kids, and lots of debt.  I would pay big money to get it back.
Mom generally threw away anything I really wanted.

JCbride2015

That is really sad.  I would be disappointed, too.

My grandfather (my favorite person ever when I was a kid) passed away when I was 7.  I remember him always drinking out of this particular coffee mug, and after he passed my grandmother gave it to me.  That darn mug was so special to me.  I put it on my bookshelf in my room and treasured it for years.

Then when I was in high school, my sister was doing something in my room, jostled the bookshelf, and shattered the mug.  My mom told me what happened when I came home later and it was like she was trying to deliver news of a death in the family or something!

I look back on the fact that I did not kill my sister (or even yell at her) as one of my first real acts of maturity on the road to adulthood.

AnAngelGoneInsane

They made him dump them in the trash, they thought he was trying to set the plane on fire. My dad is just lucky they let him on the plane at all actually, it was during a connecting flight so he couldn't give them to anyone or anything.

jdluvr06

I'm so sorry. You must be so disappointed.

I had this snow globe that belonged to my dad. I loved this thing. It was a Halloween one but I had it sitting out all year. When I first moved in with my FI the box it was in got dropped and it shattered. I cried for hours about that.

AnAngelGoneInsane

@JCbride2015‌ I'm sorry about your mug, but I know it's the memories that are more important, even if it doesn't really make you feel better right away. Also yes I think it is a very mature thing, I was very proud that I just tole my dad that I was very sad and just needed some time alone. This is opposed to what I wanted to do was yell and say "who would carry matches of that quantity on a plane you idiot of course they took them." I even managed to call him today and not bring them up at all or get mad at him.

AnAngelGoneInsane

@jdluvr oh I love snow globes I'm sure it was amazing. My poor FI I came home in tears and he thought someone had died, but he was the best when he found out what it really was he still sat with me while I cried and didn't act like I was a nut to be so upset over matches.

FiancB

AnAngelGoneInsane said:

They made him dump them in the trash, they thought he was trying to set the plane on fire. 

With matches. God. TSA: keeping the country safe, one matchstick at a time. 

I'm sorry. That really sucks. You try to tell yourself they're just things but there is some family related stuff that I definitely wouldn't want to lose either. After my grandma passed my sister snatched up this really cool old globe from her house that we all always loved- it was so old, it still said Siam instead of Thailand and stuff like that. It's still safe, but I'm a little bummed, and if it remains safe through her 5 kids growing up I'll be very surprised. 

AnAngelGoneInsane

@CMGragain‌ oh no I just read your story and that's terrible, at least he didn't just give it to someone that would be way worse. It's funny what we really get attached to emotionally, sword vs costume jewelry or other random things that just impact us.

AnAngelGoneInsane

@FiancB‌ yeah I keep saying it's just a thing, but it's hard. I also feel really bad for my grandmother I had mention last year when I was over there how much I loved them and would really like to have them if she ever decided to let them go. My grandmother at the time said she wasn't ready that they had to many fond memories she didn't want to let go of yet, and now she finally let me have them and they are just gone. I don't want to tell her I'm afraid it will really hurt her because they meant a lot to her too.

APDSS22

The last time my parents moved, the movers cracked the lid of the family piano that had been in the family over 100 years and ripped off one of the legs. My mother flipped shit in a way I've never seen before.

lyndausvi

That is so sad. My grandparents didn't really have much.  Plus there are 24 of us and 8 in my mom's generation.  I'm one of the youngest of my generation so I didn't think anything would be left.   But some how I got  lucky enough to have my grandmother's wedding band from 1930.  She also had this little cup sitting on her table that said

DRINK

When we drink

We get drunk

When we get drunk

We go to sleep

When we sleep 

WE commit no sin

When we commit no sin

We go to heaven

So lets all get DRUNK

AND GO TO HEAVEN!

I somehow got that too! It's sitting in my living room.   I was able to get old large special edition Jack Daniels bottles from my pop-pop on my dad's side.  They are pretty cool.

LabLove86

When I was a pre-teen we flew god-knows-where and one of our suitcases was FILLED with old family videos.

The suitcase was checked just fine. Never made if off the plane. 

The older I get the more upset it makes me that I can never watch those videos again (

jenajjthr

My grandma got me hooked on collecting wheat pennies. She ended up giving me her collection, less than $20, worth, but promised me her antique clock with a penny on the pendulum. It got stolen from the house. I cried. The upside, I learned about 15 years ago the ugly buffet we had, isn't so ugly after being restored, was my great, great grandma's and will be mine when my mom actually lets it go.

KPBM89

I'm so sorry!  

I don't know of any family collections that have been messed with, but I do know of my Poppop's Army locker.  It is in their (mommom and poppop's) house, and I have staked my claim on it.  If anyone tries to open it, I will be absolutely devastated.  I was his only granddaughter and he promised it to me when I was a baby.  Mommom is still alive, but I know when she passes that the locker will become mine and I have vowed to maintain it for him.  It remains unlocked, and unopened, since he returned from the Army.  

When I was younger, my mom gave me a beautiful cross with real diamonds and white gold.  I lost it in Florida about 17 years ago and I still think about it all the time, just like the real diamond earrings she gave me and I had to take out for swim team and forgot about.  Eventually, the memory of the items is all that mattered.

smalfrie19

Thankfully nothing that I have been given from my elders has been damaged or lost, but I would be devastated if something happened to my great grandmother's hopechest. Absolutely inconsolable. 

Simply Fated

I went on a plane a few years ago with my dad. It was his first time since 9/11. I made sure to tell him in advance what he couldn't bring on the plane with him. I even made a list with specific items on it. I typed it out and printed it on the library's computer.
I asked him, as we were walking down the driveway to the car, "Do you have any liquids or sharp objects or anything on the list I gave you in your bag?" He said no.
We get to the airports and security pulls my dad's bag off the conveyor belt. They bring over two items from his bag over to me. An economy size tube of toothpaste and my late grandfather's pocketknife. A large one, at that. Not one of those little swiss army ones with all the other crap inside. It's a huge blade. How could my dad have thought THAT would have been allowed? It was his beloved one, that my grandfather used to take my dad and uncles camping with. The one my dad cherished. And now it's gone.
The toothpaste I get, not everyone knows it's a liquid, even though I put it on the list for him.


My mom lost the bulk of my grandmother and my grandmother's mother's jewelry at the airport. Me and her went to Florida to visit and my grandmother gave it all to her. When my dad picked us up at the airport on our return trip, he told my mom to she could get into the car and he would load the bags into the trunk. That bag somehow never made it into the car. I blame the both of them, even though my mom only blamed my dad. Yeah, my dad said he would take care of it, but my mom should have double checked something THAT important. Anyway, my mom never forgave my dad. She went back to smoking cigarettes that very night.


Luckily, my grandmother had held on to her rings, so I have those. And I have my other grandmother's rings, too. I hope to pass those down to my daughter, someday, assuming I have one. I also have my grandfather's ring if I ever have a son. Or maybe also the daughter? I need kids, first, before I decide lol.

wandajune6

My grandparents both came to the US alone and with nothing. They're both alive so there is nothing to pass down yet.

But Uncle John got spilled.

My aunt is going through a divorce and is cleaning out the house for sale. The movers were cleaning out the attic and knocked something over- the run holding our great uncle John. He died a decade ago and didn't believe in "fussing" over death - he just wanted to be dumped somewhere. We all planned to take him to a local lake he loved and my uncle was supposed to handle it. I guess he never did. It's good that Uncle John was so flexible....

behsco90

When my grandmother passed away, she left her house to my mom (her reasoning was because my mom has to take care of my aunt who is mentally disabled) and my uncle was furious.  He went through her house and took so much stuff, so greedy, and her car.  He brought all his stuff back to his home and his wife told him she didn't want a "dead persons things" so I'm sure most of it is sold by now... some of her silver which I was hoping I could take...many other things.

It's so sad how greed can rip a family apart.  If my grandmother was still alive, she would be so disappointed.  The one thing she said before she died was "Family. Family is the most important thing in the world."

pinkshorts27

behsco90 said:

When my grandmother passed away, she left her house to my mom (her reasoning was because my mom has to take care of my aunt who is mentally disabled) and my uncle was furious.  He went through her house and took so much stuff, so greedy, and her car.  He brought all his stuff back to his home and his wife told him she didn't want a "dead persons things" so I'm sure most of it is sold by now... some of her silver which I was hoping I could take...many other things.

It's so sad how greed can rip a family apart.  If my grandmother was still alive, she would be so disappointed.  The one thing she said before she died was "Family. Family is the most important thing in the world."

My grandma painted once and she took a survey and then assigned each of her paintings to one of her six children. Anything of value has been assigned. I'm not high on the list, fourth youngest grandchild out of nineteen, oldest daughter of the youngest son. Grandma has great-grandchildren my age and now has 30ish great-grandchildren. I won't get much to treasure from my grandparents. And someone stole my great-grandma's ring set that I was supposed to get. Bummer.

afox007

The one thing i feel the worst about losing is a wine glass that was FI's grandmas's. His mom luckily still has most of the stuff of value, but he lost everything he had when he left his ex wife. He had one random green wine glass that survived the move and I broke it. I was using it and FSS knocked it over trying to set up a video game. Red wine was all over my white carpet so I chucked the glass in the sink upset and overwhelmed. I didn't know the history behind it. When I saw how sad FI was I stayed up for hours gluing it back together. It's not usable, but it is in one piece on a shelf. FI says it means more now knowing how much I cared.

The only thing so far from my family that still upsets me several times a year is that we lost my great grandmas house. She bought it when it was still being built and hand picked every tile, light fixture, door knob, etc. When she passed away she made my great uncle the executor of her estate and despite my grandma and me begging he sold it. I grew up spending summers in that house and my grandparents lived down the street. It breaks my heart everytime we go to visit because the new owners completely remodeled it. I cry just seeing the garage door is closed since Nana NEVER shut it and everyone always ame through the garage; I didn't even realize tere was a front door until I was 9.

AnAngelGoneInsane

Everyone has stories about this kind of stuff happening, not to sound mean but it makes me feel better knowing this is a semi common thing. Also I think I feel better just talking about it, it really is the memories just it's hard to let go of something you love.

@wandajune6‌ okay you win, I would be pretty upset if someone I loved got spilt somewhere.

buddysmom80

OP I'm sorry that happened! TSA is crazy sometimes.

I have a few stories

When I was a little kid and we stayed at my dad's parents house, my mom used to rock me to sleep in this rocking chair that my grandmother and her sister found on the side of the road that they ended up re-finishing and re-upholstering. It made the weirdest creaking sound but it put me to sleep all the time. My grandparents died within three months of each other so when my dad and mom cleaned out the house and had an estate sale they did it so fast they didn't ask for my input if there was anything I wanted. I would've loved that chair. My dad "thinks" he gave it to the reverend who did my grandparents funeral. Now that I have the room, I might track this guy down and see if he's willing to sell it.

My grandfather also had a gorgeous Steinway piano, but we had no room for it. I have some of my earlier piano lessons with that piano.

Right now I have my paternal grandmother's engagement ring that I sometimes stack with my e-ring. I also have a ton of sketches and watercolors that were done by my paternal grandfather's mother (my great grandmother?). I'm currently working on getting those framed just so they're stored properly.

My mom's side of the family I don't have anything because my cousins stole a lot of their stuff and pawned it off. My grandmother promised me a very art deco ring my grandfather had made for her for one of their anniversaries but I don't think I'll get it.

My mom has a lavalier that was my great great grandmother's. That is going to be my something borrowed from the wedding, I'll just pin it on the inside of my dress and give it back to her after the ceremony. I have a copy of the lavalier in white gold with an aquarmarine and freshwater pearl. The original is yellow gold with a diamond and pearl. My mom is really protective about it (I don't blame her).

wandajune6

I loved Uncle John very much (he was more like an extraordinarily cool grandfather) but he didn't care about stuff like this. He never believed in worrying about a person after they were dead. I'm pretty sure he's laugh himself into hysterics!

melbelleup

The only thing I really wanted from a relative that passed was my grandma's cross necklace my dad bought for her while he was in Italy. Luckily, I managed to get it from my grandfather even though he let my older cousins take her jewelry..I was in 9th grade when my grandma died. I still cherish my cross from her and hopefully nothing happens to it. The reason I really wanted it is because my dad also bought me a cross necklace from Italy (which my mom was pregnant with me during his trip) other than mine is silver and thinner where hers was gold and fatter. I'm actually planning on wearing her's on my wedding day.

ETA: I'm so sorry to hear about everyone losing stuff

harper0813

Oh no! That is so sad about the matches! I feel like that would happen in my family, too. My dad has lost, like, three dozen pocket knives to airport security, and on several occasions, shortly after it was gifted to him.

My grandma has clothes from my great-great aunt Eva (a very wealthy widow) that I covet, including a few Chanel pieces. I've received one dress but she still wears several of the pieces and I hope to inherit some. She knows I love them and she encourages me to try them on when I visit. I think she'd give them to me if I asked, but I know she loves having them around since she was close to Eva and they're the nicest things she owns.

My parents will give me their baby grand piano as soon as we live close to them again in 2-5 years. We'd take it now if it didn't cost two arms and legs to move it several states away. And I'd like to have my mom's engagement locket. My parents couldn't afford a ring when they got engaged, so my dad bought a locket and put their pictures inside and had it engraved. I had it on my wedding bouquet, but I'd like to have it one day and make it an heirloom.

ETA: And my late paternal grandmother painted in her free time - many of my relatives have kept her paintings in storage, and I'd really like to have one to hang in our home. But no one wants to give them up... from storage... which is beyond frustrating.

CMGragain

This thread made me cry last night.  Then I thought, all of you ladies are talking about your feelings for special things that remind you of special people whom you loved!  In my mother's family, nobody liked each other!  Maybe that is why there are so few heirlooms in my family?
In my living room, I have a wall of very old family pictures, some from my Dad's family, some from DH's family.  There are no photos of Mom on display, or aunts and uncles.  Hm.  You all are so lucky to have people you love in your lives.

MuppetOverlord

I don't think I've lost anything..well, one thing I don't have but it's still in the "family".

The one thing I asked for of my grandmother's things was this table she had. The base is an old sewing machine with t he big foot paddle. They put a piece of glass over it to make it a table and I used to play with it. It was really cool to me. My uncle took it and put it in his store. I don't think it means anything to him....I don't think he realizes it has so much meaning to me. I just kind of keep an eye on it and if he ever goes to replace it or sell the business, I want it. My mom works there so shes keeping an eye on it too.

 The things that are meaningful to me that I have are a tiny Coca Cola tin from my grandfather's tin collection, a cross pendant with a chip from one of my grandmother's diamonds in it, and um...well a wooden lid that my grandfather and father used to make grilled cheese sandwiches on the stove with. We only have the lid. It's perfect for it. If I only inherit one thing from my parents...I would pick that.

rajahmd

CMGragain said:

This thread made me cry last night.  Then I thought, all of you ladies are talking about your feelings for special things that remind you of special people whom you loved!  In my mother's family, nobody liked each other!  Maybe that is why there are so few heirlooms in my family?
In my living room, I have a wall of very old family pictures, some from my Dad's family, some from DH's family.  There are no photos of Mom on display, or aunts and uncles.  Hm.  You all are so lucky to have people you love in your lives.

Really?  People are lamenting lost items that held sentimental value and you are basically telling them that they should be thankful for just having people who loved them in their lives. Goodness. If you don't have a story to share, move on. Don't try to make posters feel bad about their stories.

harper0813

RajahBMFD said:

CMGragain said:

This thread made me cry last night.  Then I thought, all of you ladies are talking about your feelings for special things that remind you of special people whom you loved!  In my mother's family, nobody liked each other!  Maybe that is why there are so few heirlooms in my family?
In my living room, I have a wall of very old family pictures, some from my Dad's family, some from DH's family.  There are no photos of Mom on display, or aunts and uncles.  Hm.  You all are so lucky to have people you love in your lives.

Really?  People are lamenting lost items that held sentimental value and you are basically telling them that they should be thankful for just having people who loved them in their lives. Goodness. If you don't have a story to share, move on. Don't try to make posters feel bad about their stories.

Preach.

abl13

Aww. This thread made me cry. My grandma brought back spoon rings when visiting family in Czechoslovakia (back when it was still called that). She gave one to me and one to my cousin. Mine was stolen from my locker while I was at cross country practice one day. The sad part is that it is worth probably $20 but was priceless to me.

 

My other grandmother passed away in the hospital wearing her wedding rings. Her hands were too swollen to remove them because of medication she was taking so the staff promised my parents they would get them before she was cremated. They never got them because someone STOLE THE RINGS OFF HER DEAD BODY. Who does something like that?? It even made the local news. I was too young to remember if my parents received any type of compensation from the hospital but they never got the rings. My grandparents were very frugal so they were not worth a lot. I wish whoever stole them knew that at the time.