Got my first facebook RSVP

themuffinman16

Got this lovely RSVP on facebook. "This doesn't count as a response card. Also, I'm not a loser so I will totally have a date." She is not in a relationship, and she knows everybody at the wedding, so FI and I did not give her a plus one. And then she broadcasts that she received our invites and that she will bring another person anyway. Now, another person who has also been given a guest by name thinks they can bring an additional date and liked her comment (she has told me this before. I told her she can bring her friend by name and even put her friend on the invitation with her approval). I wish people would reign it in. FI and I are paying for this wedding ourselves, with NO HELP besides the wedding dress. This party is not free. When we say open bar, we don't mean open to everyone who resides in our city. God does not pay the bar or food tab... we do. I wish people would think of that before adding people to our predetermined guest list. I have to shut this down before it turns into a financial shit storm

pinkshorts27

themuffinman16 said:

Got this lovely RSVP on facebook. "This doesn't count as a response card. Also, I'm not a loser so I will totally have a date." She is not in a relationship, and she knows everybody at the wedding, so FI and I did not give her a plus one. And then she broadcasts that she received our invites and that she will bring another person anyway. Now, another person who has also been given a guest by name thinks they can bring an additional date and liked her comment (she has told me this before. I told her she can bring her friend by name and even put her friend on the invitation with her approval). I wish people would reign it in. FI and I are paying for this wedding ourselves, with NO HELP besides the wedding dress. This party is not free. When we say open bar, we don't mean open to everyone who resides in our city. God does not pay the bar or food tab... we do. I wish people would think of that before adding people to our predetermined guest list. I have to shut this down before it turns into a financial shit storm

Let us know the result! Also seriously, public post? (not you, her clearly). 

themuffinman16

Yes, my invitations were hand made and the only post I made about it was "So happy, today!"  I have kept my facebook mention of our wedding out of anyone's business.  She even tagged me in it, so all of my friends could see it.. even the ones not invited.  Thankfully, because of father-drama, no one can tag me in a post without my approval.

  If I could, I would have invited more of my friends and not a random guy she asked to my wedding. Infuriated

SBmini

You need to send her a private message telling her how inappropriate that was and reiterate that the invitation was for her and if she doesn't want to come alone, you totally understand if she doesn't attend. 

That is seriously the most immature, entitled thing someone could do. Could you imagine the real world equivalent to that? 

afox007

SBmini said:

You need to send her a private message telling her how inappropriate that was and reiterate that the invitation was for her and if she doesn't want to come alone, you totally understand if she doesn't attend. 

That is seriously the most immature, entitled thing someone could do. Could you imagine the real world equivalent to that? 

Only real world equivalent I can think of is "thank you so much for the job offer! My BFF/roommate/random CL person will be starting with me since I can't do anything alone."

I really hope we never actually stoop to that level as a society.

HisGirlFriday13

I agree with PPS you need to privately message her and say, 'I'm sorry, the invite was only for you, not you and a guest. I hope you can still come. Also, please don't post about my wedding on FB and include people who weren't invited.'

KGold80

Wow. Who does that!?

That guest seems like a real piece of work and I'm sorry you're having to deal with people like that. You definitely need to address her politely but firmly, in private, and then let her make the decision as to whether or not she wants to attend alone.

theartistformerlyknownas

Ugh. I had someone post, upon getting the save the date, something like "you know you're excited for a wedding when you just got the save the date today and have already booked your hotel room and picked out a date, and a back up date!" Ummm... you're not getting a guest, dear.

ETA I also found out over the weekend that one of my friends has already called two of my friends (who he only barely knows) to be his date to my wedding. One of them is engaged, the other lives with her boyfriend. I guess at least he's keeping it within the guest list? Knowing the way this guy operates though, he has probably asked everyone he knows. I actually kind of hoped he'd hit it off with the girl above.

HisGirlFriday13

lolo883 said:

Ugh. I had someone post, upon getting the save the date, something like "you know you're excited for a wedding when you just got the save the date today and have already booked your hotel room and picked out a date, and a back up date!" Ummm... you're not getting a guest, dear.

So....she posted on FB that she had a date AND a back-up date. I'm hoping she's not FB friends with the people in question, or else they probably feel pretty shitty. 'Oh, I wasn't the first-round draft pick for a wedding date, but at least I'm second-round'?

theartistformerlyknownas

HisGirlFriday13 said:

lolo883 said:

Ugh. I had someone post, upon getting the save the date, something like "you know you're excited for a wedding when you just got the save the date today and have already booked your hotel room and picked out a date, and a back up date!" Ummm... you're not getting a guest, dear.

So....she posted on FB that she had a date AND a back-up date. I'm hoping she's not FB friends with the people in question, or else they probably feel pretty shitty. 'Oh, I wasn't the first-round draft pick for a wedding date, but at least I'm second-round'?

Yeahhhh. I'm sure she is. She's not the most tactful person. Most of her bench of potential wedding dates is her gay guy friends that she brings around as accessories, not even actual "dates."

KatieinBkln

Uninvite, uninvite!

I'm kidding. You can't uninvite her. I agree with PP on how to handle the acute situation, but I would also suggest a general distancing of yourself to deal with the apparent chronic problem (i.e. your friend needs some space, shall we say, to grow up).

climbingsingle

Ugh. That is awful! Ditto sending her a private message. 

I had a girl that I'm barely friends with post this about 3 weeks after I got engaged on my FB wall: How are the wedding plans going! One would hope to get an invite!

Seriously, I was barely friends with this girl. She'd never met my FI. I hadn't even seen her in at least 6 months. And, she couldn't send that in an email? She had to post it on FB wall for all to see? 

harper0813

I don't understand why people post on an engaged person's wall about being invited to their wedding. It just seems like they want to broadcast that they know that person well enough to be invited so that everyone who wasn't invited can feel bad.

KatieinBkln

zobird said:

I don't understand why people post on an engaged person's wall about being invited to their wedding. It just seems like they want to broadcast that they know that person well enough to be invited so that everyone who wasn't invited can feel bad.

And it's extra awkward for everyone if they DON'T know the person that well! I think I would just reply with this one:

http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4ev7oGwBT1r4rsnfo1_500.gif 

Kristen625

zobird said:

I don't understand why people post on an engaged person's wall about being invited to their wedding. It just seems like they want to broadcast that they know that person well enough to be invited so that everyone who wasn't invited can feel bad.

I don't get it either.  Thankfully I didn't have that issue at all, but I would be pretty shocked/embarrassed if I did.  I didn't post hardly anything on FB about the wedding.  The only thing I posted was our engagement pictures, and I didn't put up the ones that had the date of the wedding in them.  I still haven't posted any wedding photos.

harper0813

I had a couple of people post on my wall, thanking me for the STD (heh). I deleted them since I hadn't sent ALL guests STDs, since we hadn't completely finalized the guest list by that time. Smart people just sent us texts.

bethsmiles

I would delete her post ASAP otherwise more people are going to think they get +1s and I would PM her to tell her she cannot bring a date.

thisismynickname2

I'm sitting here thanking God that our friends who received Save the Dates had the good sense to text their excitement and not post publicly on Facebook.

To the OP, WTF!?  Is she an obligation invitee? Sorry you have to deal with that. 

Cookie Pusher

I had more than one person photograph and post my STDate to their social media accounts (one of them had ZERO security settings). Apparently, common sense is not so common.

themuffinman16

I had FI talk with her.  I told him to shoot her a text or call her the next day and not add anything else to a public forum.  He called her at 11:30 that night to tell her I had him call her as soon as possible because I was upset.   Not really sure why he felt the need to tell her that. But he said that I did not want any other people not in relationships to bring a date.  Um.... WE. I know FI does not want to spend another $1,000 on random dates, so why he was putting the blame solely on me... I'll never know.   But thank you, FI for throwing me under the bus with your family.  He, at least, told her that there are several of our friends we could not invite and we had to seriously scale back on our guest list, and he hoped she understood.  She said she was just joking about bringing a plus one.   But she also sent out a glorious meme that said, "Since you did not see fit to give me a guest to bring to the wedding, just know that I will be drinking for two."

    Joy.  FI and I had a lovely spat, last night and told me she was just joking about bringing the plus one. This happened when I asked him to delete her post from his facebook page (so we would not get more guests assuming bringing plus ones is acceptable).  I said, honey, she is embarrassed by her assumption and realized the awkward situation she put us in, and wanted to smooth it over. I feel like she wasn't joking, and if I can come to that conclusion, I can tell you, more people will. Frustrated.