Shoes for the wedding

jackiemr04

OK long story short. My FH is 5'9 and I am 5'6. He does not want me towering over him with heels on the day of the wedding, and I don't blame him. I was planning on purchasing a beautiful pair of flat sandals that will go wonderful with my dress. My mother in law is very persistent and does NOT want me to wear sandals and says the way I will walk will not look right. See my thing is, I don't wear 2-3 inch heels and would never purchase 2-3 inch heels ever. I want to also make my FH happy by not towering over him and making sure he feels comfortable. I honestly do not care what anyone else thinks on how I walk or whatever. No one will see my shoes of course but my MIL is very very persistant in trying to make me buy heels. THOUGHTS? 

JennyColada

Well I'm planning on wearing flats. So...

jackiemr04

these are the shoes I plan on purchasging. My wedding is an elegant wedding but then again I want to be comfortable and make my FH comfortable. 

jackiemr04

and this is my dress. (NOT ME IN THE PICTURE THIS IS A GOOGLE PIC)

NYCMercedes

Choice 1: wear flats and please myself and my FI. Choice 2: wear heels and please MIL. Choice 3: wear 2" heels and please nobody. To me, the first option is the only option.

ElcaB

First of all, long dresses hide shoes so the chances of most people even seeing them are slim. Secondly, MIL isn't the one wearing them, you are, so do what makes YOU happy. Simply tell her, "FI and I are both comfortable with the flats I picked out. How was your day at work?" 

PS - I am gaga over those shoes. They're gorgeous!

beachyone15

jackiemr04 said:

OK long story short. My FH is 5'9 and I am 5'6. He does not want me towering over him with heels on the day of the wedding, and I don't blame him. I was planning on purchasing a beautiful pair of flat sandals that will go wonderful with my dress. My mother in law is very persistent and does NOT want me to wear sandals and says the way I will walk will not look right. See my thing is, I don't wear 2-3 inch heels and would never purchase 2-3 inch heels ever. I want to also make my FH happy by not towering over him and making sure he feels comfortable. I honestly do not care what anyone else thinks on how I walk or whatever. No one will see my shoes of course but my MIL is very very persistant in trying to make me buy heels. THOUGHTS? 

Not gonna lie, this would offend me. YOU should wear the shoes YOU and your FI like. It's really none of her business.

LDay2014

OP, your mother in law has NO right to dictate what shoes you wear at your wedding.  No one is even going to care...

Seriously, this woman has balls to tell you what you can and can't wear at your own wedding.  They aren't her feet, it's up to you and FI and if you want to wear flats, then wear flats.  Tell her, that's the end of discussion.

jackiemr04

My MIL says my walk will be different and I wont walk as elegant as I would with heels on. That is her main concern. I appreciate her concern but I have told her over and over that I stand by my decision in making my FI happy and would like to wear flats. 

jackiemr04

thank you! I thought so too. At least I am not wearing dollar store flip flops I am buying shoes that will look gorgeous. 

rainbows0215

I am wearing flats I want to be comfortable all night. Wear what you want nobody will see the shoes.

jackiemr04

LDay2014 said:

OP, your mother in law has NO right to dictate what shoes you wear at your wedding.  No one is even going to care...

Seriously, this woman has balls to tell you what you can and can't wear at your own wedding.  They aren't her feet, it's up to you and FI and if you want to wear flats, then wear flats.  Tell her, that's the end of discussion.

Thank you! I have told her over and over this is what I want. and then she keeps telling me my walk will be different and I just tell her I don't care what anyone has to say about the way I walk as long as my FI is happy while I walk down the aisle that is all that matters. She doesn't understand 

LDay2014

jackiemr04 said:

LDay2014 said:

OP, your mother in law has NO right to dictate what shoes you wear at your wedding.  No one is even going to care...

Seriously, this woman has balls to tell you what you can and can't wear at your own wedding.  They aren't her feet, it's up to you and FI and if you want to wear flats, then wear flats.  Tell her, that's the end of discussion.

Thank you! I have told her over and over this is what I want. and then she keeps telling me my walk will be different and I just tell her I don't care what anyone has to say about the way I walk as long as my FI is happy while I walk down the aisle that is all that matters. She doesn't understand 

*SITDB*

I'd look at her and say, 'So, what you're saying is that you'd rather I walk a certain way than be happy and comfortable?'.  You may have to get a little forceful with her, as I've had to with my MIL, 'This is my decision, it's not up for discussion and I would appreciate if you stop bringing it up.'

beachyone15

LDay2014 said:

jackiemr04 said:

LDay2014 said:

OP, your mother in law has NO right to dictate what shoes you wear at your wedding.  No one is even going to care...

Seriously, this woman has balls to tell you what you can and can't wear at your own wedding.  They aren't her feet, it's up to you and FI and if you want to wear flats, then wear flats.  Tell her, that's the end of discussion.

Thank you! I have told her over and over this is what I want. and then she keeps telling me my walk will be different and I just tell her I don't care what anyone has to say about the way I walk as long as my FI is happy while I walk down the aisle that is all that matters. She doesn't understand 

*SITDB*

I'd look at her and say, 'So, what you're saying is that you'd rather I walk a certain way than be happy and comfortable?'.  You may have to get a little forceful with her, as I've had to with my MIL, 'This is my decision, it's not up for discussion and I would appreciate if you stop bringing it up.'

Yes! Tell her "case closed".

lilacck28

Um... how would your walk be different? I don't understand this. I start to limp in heels after a while. I don't think that's what she's referring to though... 

Maybe you'd walk slower in heels? Take shorter steps? So, when you walk down the aisle in flats... walk a little slower, take shorter steps. Easy. Heels change how your legs look when you're wearing a short dress, not so much with a long dress. But I've never heard that they change your walk? 

Even if they do, comfort first. 

kimberly0315

I would wear the sandals.  They are beautiful and if you love them, who cares?

As for MIL, I would just smile and nod.  It's none of her business, but in my opinion it's not worth a fight.  She doesn't need to know.

vh2014

I was a dancer... our ballet shoes didn't have heels- is she saying ballerinas aren't graceful and elegant? Case closed. 

My daughter would fall and twist her ankle if I made her wear heels (she's 22)... that is certainly not more graceful and elegant.  Case closed again.

If you wear heels and are towering over your FI and it makes him uncomfortable neither of you will look graceful or elegant... you will look uncomftable no matter how you walk.  3 strikes...she's out. 

Wear what you like and own it.   It doesn't affect how you host your guests and they are your feet.   Tell her you won't pick her shoes if she doesn't pick yours.  

wajohnson09

Flats here- FI and I are the same height and I really don't want to feel like a giant woman on our wedding day.

Tell your MIL to zip it! For crying out loud it's a pair of shoes that no one else sees

dolewhipper

jackiemr04 said:

these are the shoes I plan on purchasging. My wedding is an elegant wedding but then again I want to be comfortable and make my FH comfortable. 

Those are beautiful! Where are they from (if you don't mind me asking) ?

[Deleted User]

I had pretty much the exact same conversation with MIL and FI- I'm 5'5" and FI is 5'8"- ultimately it's what you and your FI want. I think those shoes are very pretty and frankly MIL doesn't get a say in what you wear...