Wedding Etiquette Forum

Would you rather... a seating chart question

melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
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edited May 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So we have gotten enough RSVPs that I am starting to work on seating for our reception. Guests will be seated at round tables that can hold up to 10 people, but DOC recommends that we go with 8 per table so there is a little more room. As I look at my responses, some groups that we would naturally seat together have 9 or 10 people in them. I'm trying to decide whether I should seat them all together 10 to a table, or split them up into tables of 8 with people they don't know so well but have things in common with (no budget concerns with more tables).

So I turn to you, fellow Knotties. Would you rather sit at a slightly more packed table with 9 of your friends or sit at a less packed table with people you don't know as well?

Also, a mea culpa, this is an unintentional cross-post. I accidentally posted it on my wedding month board instead of here first. :(

Would you rather... a seating chart question 151 votes

Pack me into the 10 top. I want to spend as much time with all my friends as possible.
58% 88 votes
Put me at an 8 top near my other friends. I can chat with anyone through dinner and then hang out with all my friends as the dancing starts.
41% 63 votes
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Re: Would you rather... a seating chart question

  • Well it depends. If you put us and another couple I know at a table with 4 other people I don't know, I'll be fine, especially if my friends are sitting at the next table over. I would avoid putting a couple at a table where they know no one just to fit 8 at a table. But there's really not a problem with doing that, I'll make small talk and survive until dinner is over.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
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    I voted for the 8 top.  I am only going to be sitting at that table for an hour or so and if you are sitting me with a few other people that I know plus some that I don't I will be perfectly content and happy for that hour.  The rest of the night will probably be spent out on the dance floor with friends or hanging out at the bar.

  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2014
    ashleyep said:
    Well it depends. If you put us and another couple I know at a table with 4 other people I don't know, I'll be fine, especially if my friends are sitting at the next table over. I would avoid putting a couple at a table where they know no one just to fit 8 at a table. But there's really not a problem with doing that, I'll make small talk and survive until dinner is over.
    That's what I was leaning towards doing.  I would make sure there was at least one other person at each table that the guest knew.
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    melbelleup
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
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    I'd prefer the 8 top. I don't want to be bumping elbows with people all night, and with the elaborate place settings common at weddings, that's a total possibility. And I'm a klutz so the odds go up even higher.
  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby! member
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    edited May 2014

    I voted for the 10 top. I don't mind sitting close to the people that I know. I also use the logic that I will not be at the table for more than an hour or so, except I see it as that means people will be moving around and the tables will, naturally, become less cramped.

     

    Can you see what the tables look like with the 8 and 10 chairs? I know that visuals always help me.

     

    ETF: spelling

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  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
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    @SaraBrideSoon I don't have pictures, but at the wedding I was at this weekend, I sat at a table of the same size with 9 other people.  It was a little crowded, but not uncomfortably so - no elbow bumping, etc.  But not a lot of space left on the table once plates and drinks were there.  I think the chairs at our reception space are a little wider (by 2-3 inches) than the chairs were there, though.
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I voted for 8, as I've been to weddings where we were crammed into a 10-top. We kept having to shift when people got up and down, purses kept getting tangled in chairs, etc. Also, I'm a leftie, so I kept bumping the person next to me.

    Dinner isn't very long, and most people can handle a bit of small talk. 
  • 8 top - I hate being crowded and as a left-hander, it's unbearable because the person next to me is going to have his elbow where I'm trying to eat.
  • ElcaBElcaB member
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    Super-crowded tables annoy me. The plates, the glasses, the centerpiece, the getting up and wedging yourself back in, feet accidentally touching...nope. 
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I can go either way. That said we ordered different sized tables for this reason. We had a mix of 60 inch and 72 inch tables, even a smaller one for 6 people. The room looked good with the different types of tables.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
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    lyndausvi said:
    I can go either way. That said we ordered different sized tables for this reason. We had a mix of 60 inch and 72 inch tables, even a smaller one for 6 people. The room looked good with the different types of tables.
    This reminded me about something.  Even though we didn't have different sized tables (which I think does look really good and even if you have different shapes too) we did have different numbers at the tables.  Some had 8, some had 9, some had 6, some had 7.  We just filled the table with people that we knew would like to sit together and then moved on to a different table with a new group.

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    lyndausvi said:
    I can go either way. That said we ordered different sized tables for this reason. We had a mix of 60 inch and 72 inch tables, even a smaller one for 6 people. The room looked good with the different types of tables.
    This reminded me about something.  Even though we didn't have different sized tables (which I think does look really good and even if you have different shapes too) we did have different numbers at the tables.  Some had 8, some had 9, some had 6, some had 7.  We just filled the table with people that we knew would like to sit together and then moved on to a different table with a new group.
    We had  a mix of square and rounds and a mix of different sized tables.

    Now we had to rent everything, so it might have been easier for me to do that others.  I didn't want to  fill tables to max out the table.  We filled tables based on how they would naturally sit.   The smallest table was 6 - largest was 11 I think.  Maybe 12,  Can't really remember.   But there were numbers in between.  

    Our own table was square and had 9 of us.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    While we don't have the option of different sized tables - the venue only has the one size - we will have some tables with 6 or 7 people rather than 8, because that's how many people it makes sense to have at that table.  (Why would I put two strangers with my cousins and their families just to have 8 people fit at a table?) 

    We had one table that looked like it would only have 5, until we realized that we have a family of 3 coming from the same geographic area as those 5 people who won't know anyone else attending the wedding and viola! Table of 8.
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  • AprilH81AprilH81 Columbus, OH member
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    lyndausvi said:
    I can go either way. That said we ordered different sized tables for this reason. We had a mix of 60 inch and 72 inch tables, even a smaller one for 6 people. The room looked good with the different types of tables.
    We did this too...  We had a few 6 tops, 8 tops and a few 10 tops.  It made sense due to our guest list and family sizes to mix the table sizes so it didn't look like we were ostracizing the people who only had 6 people at a table.  The smaller table size made it less noticable since the table was full.
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  • phiraphira Bahstin member
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    What size are the tables?

    If these are 54" rounds, I'd do 8 people per table. If they're 60" rounds, then 10 (although not more than 10).
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
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    The last wedding I went to I didn't know anyone at our table (SO knew everyone but they weren't BFFs or anything) and we had a great time! I don't need to be sitting next to people I know to have a good time and I'll only be at the table for a short portion of the night anyway.


  • I just took your poll and I have to laugh because you have a near 50/50 split!  What a bunch of help we are :)

    My vote was for the tables of 8.  The great thing about weddings is that (in theory) everyone there is a "nearest and dearest" of the couple.  If I love the couple, it's likely that I will at least like some of your friends!  I would happily sit at a table with my fiance and 6 other people I may not know well, because personally, I'm always up for meeting new people.  And if they're duds, at least I have my fiance and we will be getting up to dance, etc.

    HOWEVER!  If I were single, I would probably hate that!  Even if it means putting 9 people at a table, please don't strand your single/dateless friends with a whole table of strangers!  I would pay more attention to this than most anything else.
  • kgd7357kgd7357 member
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    What are the size of the rounds? We have 72-inch rounds, and honestly 8 people makes them look a little empty. 9 or 10 is perfect. 11 or 12 fits, but is tight. For the most part we have 9 or 10 at a table, with two 8s and two 11s.
  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
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    The tables are 60" rounds.
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  • kgd7357kgd7357 member
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    Oooh that is borderline. I wouldn't bat an eyelash at 9 people. 10 would get really cozy. I think I change by vote to option C. If you have 9 keep em together. Split the table if it gets to 10.
  • I'd vary it up - based on the way your are grouping friends and family.  We had some 8, 9 and 10 person tables and it looked great!
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  • I'd prefer the 8 top. I don't want to be bumping elbows with people all night, and with the elaborate place settings common at weddings, that's a total possibility. And I'm a klutz so the odds go up even higher.

    Same. Plus, I'm just not a big people person. I need breathing room!
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Just no fewer than 8. We were at a wedding with 6, and the two other couples at our table (knew each other, didn't know us) froze us out. Bride sat us together because we didn't know anyone at the wedding besides her and she thought the other couples would get along with us. It was lonely :(
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    edited May 2014
    I just don't want to be frozen out by being seated at a table where no one talks to me.

    I actually left a wedding reception early where I was seated at a table as the only single person of my age.  Everyone else there was couples of my parents' age.  My parents were at that table, but they wanted to talk to their friends.  My brother and SIL were also at that wedding, but they were seated at another table with their friends and they left early too.  I left when they did.

    The couple are now divorced.  It was ugly.
  • Why not do both?  Peeps want elbow room, so why not sit them with one or two people they know, and several people they don't?  That way they can mingle, but not feel like they've been abandoned in Russia or some shit.



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  • most rental places will say 8-10 at a 60" table and 10-12 at a 72". 

    once you add in all the "stuff" like centerpieces/plates/etc. you really need toaim for to the smaller number of people. DH and i did a mix at our wedding - 8 or 9 at most at our 60" rounds, but depending on the crowd you could do 7 or 10
  • I would much rather be crowded with people I know, than seated with 6 people I don't know. I've been to a wedding where I was seated apart from my friends and it was incredibly awkward.
  • I rather sit at 10 if it's with my friends. I have sat at some FUN tables of 10!
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  • edited May 2014


    lyndausvi said:

    I can go either way. That said we ordered different sized tables for this reason. We had a mix of 60 inch and 72 inch tables, even a smaller one for 6 people. The room looked good with the different types of tables.

    This reminded me about something.  Even though we didn't have different sized tables (which I think does look really good and even if you have different shapes too) we did have different numbers at the tables.  Some had 8, some had 9, some had 6, some had 7.  We just filled the table with people that we knew would like to sit together and then moved on to a different table with a new group.

    We did this too. I think it's fine as long it's not like only 3 ppl @ a table for 8 but if you have like 6, 7, 9 mixed sized tables look nice. Ultimately some people will have to be fillers but we tried to group ppl together who were friends.
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  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California member
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    If my friends were local to me, I'd prefer to sit at a table with fewer people. If my friends lived long distance, or I did, I'd prefer to be slightly tighter with my friends all at one table.
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