Friend And I Getting Married 3 Weeks Apart Causing Bachelorette Party Issues

srzome

Hello

Long story short, a couple of my best friends got engaged and have had long an engagement and in the meantime my fiancée and I got engaged and planned a short engagement. Because of scheduling, the 2 weddings are 3 weeks apart: late June and mid July. This did not seem to be an issue until recently when bachelorette parties started getting planned. Hers is in 2 weeks and is an overnight getaway. It includes her sister and closest friends and will cost a decent amount.

So the main problems are that: 1: Everyone just spent money on her party so mine can't cost much. 2: I feel bad that she has been engaged much longer than me and I don't want to steal any of her spotlight, but when the heck are we going to fit mine in? 3: Honestly, everyone is so focused on planning hers that I think mine is mostly forgotten about...

On a side note: I don't know whether or not to invite my sisters. My mom said I should, but my sisters and friends aren't close. Also, my younger sister and I were not invited to my older sister's bachelorette party due to the fact that we were underage, so what do I do?

Just please give any kind of advice!! Thanks!

Jen4948

Well, first, congratulations and best wishes.

Second, you yourself shouldn't be involved in the planning of your bachelorette party beyond choosing a guest list.  I would not make tit for tat guest list decisions though-the fact that you were underage at the time of your older sister's party shouldn't be a factor in whether or not your older sister is invited to yours.  I would be the bigger person and have your sisters invited.

Finally, every bride faces the possibility that there will be no parties planned for her.  It's not fair, yes, but them's the breaks.  Hopefully your wedding party will plan something nice for you, but if they don't, just focus on your wedding itself.  You have that to look forward to.

lc07

srzome said:

Hello

Long story short, a couple of my best friends got engaged and have had long an engagement and in the meantime my fiancée and I got engaged and planned a short engagement. Because of scheduling, the 2 weddings are 3 weeks apart: late June and mid July. This did not seem to be an issue until recently when bachelorette parties started getting planned. Hers is in 2 weeks and is an overnight getaway. It includes her sister and closest friends and will cost a decent amount.

So the main problems are that: 1: Everyone just spent money on her party so mine can't cost much. 2: I feel bad that she has been engaged much longer than me and I don't want to steal any of her spotlight, but when the heck are we going to fit mine in? 3: Honestly, everyone is so focused on planning hers that I think mine is mostly forgotten about...

On a side note: I don't know whether or not to invite my sisters. My mom said I should, but my sisters and friends aren't close. Also, my younger sister and I were not invited to my older sister's bachelorette party due to the fact that we were underage, so what do I do?

Just please give any kind of advice!! Thanks!

Ditto Jen. If someone offers to throw you a party you are welcome to accept their offer. What they plan is up to them cost wise so don't worry about that. I hope someone offers to throw you one!

You are not required to invite your sisters but I would invite mine. Whether you were invited to theirs or not doesn't matter IMO. 

RebeccaFlower

Don't throw your own bachelorette party. That being said, if someone else is throwing it for you, you should be aware that people might have spent their 'fun' money at the other bachelorette since yours didn't get planned first. I would hate for people to decline because you chose something too expensive. As for your sisters, if you're in good standing, I don't think it at all hurts to invite them. 

mellyD2014

I don't feel the need to reiterate what these lovely ladies have already told you about planning your own B-Party. I would like to chime in though to agree that it's not such a big deal if your sisters and friends don't know each other well - your sisters know you and they know each other, so it's not like they will be alone. Whoever ends up planning your party will just need a guest list - include whoever YOU want to be there. The invitations is not a summons, so some may not be able/want to go, but always hope for the best! I've given m friends who are planning mine a list of people who I'd love to see there - between family and different friends groups, not everyone will know each other, but we're all going to have a great time together so it won't matter. As someone also mentioned, whoever does plan your B-Party should ask everyone on the invite list what their budget is, or present them with a number of options so people can advise what they can/can't/won't afford. That way you don't need to worry about it being too expensive, because all involved will have come to an agreement about the cost in advance. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

QueerFemme

Are you actually eloping alone? Elopements don't have pre - wedding parties.

weddingmcgee

I second the idea of either asking the people who might attend how much they think they can spend or have the person planning it come up with a few options and send some emails to see what people think. It should be something you will enjoy, but that the guests will enjoy as well. If this person is your best friend, are you comfortable talking to her about this issue? It's not like you're accusing her of anything or like she did anything wrong, it's just how things worked out, it seems. If it was one my best friends, I hope that I would be comfortable enough saying "this is what I think is happening and this is how I feel about it". You shouldn't expect her to change anything, but maybe if you talk about it, she will have some ideas or be supportive to the situation you're in. Just a thought.