Wedding Etiquette Forum

Multiple Invitation Etiquette

I searched and couldn't really find a full answer to this. Is it proper etiquette to issue separate invites for the rehearsal dinner and the morning after brunch respectively? If that is the case, would it be alright to include the brunch invite as an enclosure card with the wedding invitation and request a phone call RSVP for the brunch (just family, wedding party, and OOT guests most likely)? Would this confuse people and lead to verbal RSVP's for the wedding at the same time and deter people from sending in their RSVP cards? 

And then would we just send separate rehearsal dinner invites alone to the wedding party and immediate family, again requesting RSVP via phone calls? The rehearsal dinner will not be the night before the wedding and everyone will be local. I know it is alright to do online rehearsal invites, but I'm not the most tech-savvy person and neither is the majority of my family. Would an enclosure card for this be too much? And how far ahead should these invites go out? 

Sorry for 85 questions in 1 post.....just need some clarification.

Re: Multiple Invitation Etiquette

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited May 2014
    Is the rehearsal dinner being hosted by your FILs?  If the host is different from the wedding host, as it was for my daughter's wedding, it should go out separately.
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  • No we will be hosting it ourselves.
  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I've never gotten an invite to a rehearsal dinner.  I was just notified of when and where the rehearsal was and then we were given the rehearsal dinner location at the rehearsal.  It's always been a given that dinner would immediately follow the rehearsal.  
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    CMGragain[Deleted User]
  • Would it be so terrible if these folks RSVPd for the other events and the wedding verbally? It doesn't really mater how you get the info as long as you get it on time.  I don't see an issue with the including the info as an enclosure in the wedding invite if it is the same host for all events.
  • singinchick13singinchick13 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited June 2014
    Would it be so terrible if these folks RSVPd for the other events and the wedding verbally? It doesn't really mater how you get the info as long as you get it on time.  I don't see an issue with the including the info as an enclosure in the wedding invite if it is the same host for all events.

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    It wouldn't be terrible I just worry about somebody (FI) forgetting to relay the message/add to the RSVP count for those who tell him over the phone and don't send back the card. I love him to death but he is very forgetful/disorganized; he spends upwards of an hour each week looking for his keys and/or wallet. Also the postage on the RSVP card would end up being wasted, but that's not a huge deal.
    mysticl said:
    I've never gotten an invite to a rehearsal dinner.  I was just notified of when and where the rehearsal was and then we were given the rehearsal dinner location at the rehearsal.  It's always been a given that dinner would immediately follow the rehearsal.  
    My main concern with this is it will likely be a weekday (Tuesday) and I want to give people time if they need to book off work or make other arrangements to be available. A good portion of our wedding party does shift work so the fact that it is in the evening doesn't make it any less likely for them to be scheduled. How much notice would be appropriate given these circumstances and should this notice be written/verbal?
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would send separate invites for each event. Particularly since you are not inviting your entire wedding guest list to the rehearsal and morning after brunch, which is fine (and you shouldn't be expected to), but if you are not inviting EVERYONE equally, then these should be separate events. 

    It's like if you invited Sally to your BBQ birthday party, but then gave Suzy the BBQ birthday party invite plus another invite to your pool party the next day. What does Sally think if she gets wind of that? 
    Inkdancer
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