Moms and Maids

Mom's hair

I adore my mother. She's kind, smart, funny, and is incredibly supportive of me regarding everything, including the wedding. She also has a really dumb haircut. It's just really dumb, you guys. She's a very casual person so most of the time it's not very noticeable, but at formal events when she's dressed up it really doesn't look together. She recently tried on her MOB dress for me (which is lovely!) and I asked her afterward what she thought she'd do with her hair and she said she hadn't really thought about it, probably not much. I think she is self conscious of having professionals work on her hair because it is very fine and she has often struggled with hairstyles. 

This is the opposite of a big deal. On the day I'll probably be feeling so many things that I won't think about my own hair, let alone hers. But all the same I'd like her to feel and look polished and confident. Any thoughts about ways I can get her to let some pros work on her and and be open to trying some options without being critical or embarrassing her? 
Migees mom

Re: Mom's hair

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    You should schedule a mother/daughter appointment well before the wedding so your mom can get a great cut and learn how to work with her hair. Is there a stylist at your salon that you think your mom might feel comfortable with? 

    My mother has thinning hair. She bought one of those (Paula Young) hairpieces that's used to fill out natural hair. It's so natural looking that I didn't realize she was wearing it, just thought she got a great haircut from her stylist. 
                       
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Well, I remember that my mother had gotten a hair arrangement right before my brother's wedding that didn't work for her.  The stylist who did my SIL's hair (she asked my mother, me, her mother, and her other bridesmaids (I was one) to be with her while she got ready) redid my mother's hair and my mother looked awesome after that.

    You could talk to a stylist before the wedding or look for photos in magazines or online for a style for your mother that would go really well with her personal style and the outfit she has in mind.
  • My main question is, is your Mom happy with her hair style?  Is she self-conscious about how her hair looks or is it that only you think she doesn't look polished or finished because of her hair?  If she is fine with her hair and however she does it then that is really all that matters.

    This is what I have been wondering.  I have always had VERY thin hair.  You can see my scalp, all over.  It is my Achilles Heel.  If you want to see my self-confidence flush right down the toilet just watch me at a hair salon.  Everyone else is getting their luxurious thick hair cut and my wisps are getting cut.  It is so self defeating because there is nothing else I can do short of a wig.

    I have never gotten my hair styled for any of my girls' weddings.  I have gone with them, had my makeup done, taken pictures, and put on my big girl panties of steel before I got there.  No stylist ever does my hair in a way that makes me feel beautiful and confident.  They make me look like an 80 year old woman and I leave in tears.  This is why, when I get my hair cut, I just leave with wet hair and make sure I go straight home.  The way I wear my hair for DD's wedding on the 14th is EXACTLY the way my hair looks right now, on Monday morning, sitting in my cubicle.

    Maybe this is best left alone?  You said, " I think she is self conscious of having professionals work on her hair because it is very fine and she has often struggled with hairstyles."  In my shoes that speaks volumnes and I really encourage you to leave this alone. 

  • I'm really sorry to hear that, kmmssg. That's a crappy way to feel, especially on an otherwise happy day. I do not think that is what is going on with my mom per se, though I really do appreciate the perspective. She has sometimes expressed a vague dissatisfaction with her hair but I don't think it's something that she thinks about very much to be honest. My instinct is to let it go as well, I'm certainly not going to badger her about it. She is planning on coming with me to my hair trial and asking the stylist some questions (her idea) so hopefully it will resolve itself. Thanks for the responses, ladies!
  • Good luck in your wedding planning!

  • labrolabro Hotlanta member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My mom has thin, extremely fine hair and a vary narrow face that she's extremely self conscious about. For my sister's wedding she opted to just do her own hair. After I got engaged she expressed dissatisfaction with styling it herself (she used hot curlers, which is what she would normally do for a dressier event) and asked to get her hair done professionally. I took her with me to my trial and she tried an updo. She ended up feeling self conscious of her thin face and hair and told me she wanted the stylist to just curl her hair instead for the wedding. She thinks the stylist will be able to do it in a way that will hold up and look better throughout the night. Have you had your trial yet? Maybe your mom will be interested in going with you and having her normal do done...just professionally instead of doing it herself. This could result in a slightly more polished look. Invitig her to have her hair done doesn't need to result in something outside of her comfort zone....it could just be her hair with a little more finish.



  • Make it girl's day out.

     
  • Maybe it would help to deflect away from the hairstyle and instead focus on some sort of hair bauble. I found a girl with a shop near me who makes custom hair accessories - vintagey little beaded fascinators, headbands, pins, combs, birdcage viels, etc., and they do not cost an arm and a leg (<$50 for something really pretty). I'm having her make something for myself, my bridesmaids and my mom.

    If you get something really cute that she really likes, it might help her look more polished even without a hair cut or hairstylist on the day of your wedding. A cute little fascinator would even give a little poof and volume to thin hair, or a sparkly headband would allow her to just put it on and go. If it matched the WP or your FMIL it could make her feel less self conscious about it as well.

  • My mom also was very concerned about her thin hair. My sister gave her sort of a low side bun and we added a fake flower pin that matched her dress, that way there was a focal point. Good luck! :-)
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