Wedding Ceremony & Reception Music Discussions

I hate the father/daughter dance song my dad wants...

I'm not getting married for a year, but my dad has already approached me with a song (it's actually just a tune. There aren't any words) that he really wants to dance to. It's called Ashokan Farewell. Google it. I'll wait.

If you didn't feel like googling it, it sounds like the fiddle tune from "Titanic." I mean, it's pretty, but I think it sounds kinda mournful really out of place unless you're getting married at a Civil War reenactment. This song holds absolutely no significance to our relationship; he just heard it and really liked it.

I have a handful of alternatives he'd probably be okay with (that ARE significant to our relationship), but I don't want to stomp on his heart. Should I tell him I'd prefer a different song or just let him have this?

Re: I hate the father/daughter dance song my dad wants...

  • Oh gosh, I love that song, but yes, it is melancholy. Plus it's long. Perhaps you could say something like, "That's a beautiful song, Dad, but I was thinking of something a little more upbeat. What do you think of [Other Song]? I like it because it has [certain significance] to our relationship." 
  • Pretty and it's calming my toddler down, so bonus points.  But I can't really see someone dancing to this.  

    Maybe take this one plus the ones you were thinking of and sit down with your dad to listen to them all and try dancing to them all as well.  Then maybe from there you can pick something that feels a little more natural to you both.  
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  • Yes it's pretty, but agree with @emmyg65 that is's a little too peaceful and melancholy. 

    Although it might be easy to simply let him have this (and don't worry about the length as your DJ can easily fade out to a more manageable time less than 3 minutes) it would not be easy to DANCE to.  Solo violin is tough to pick up the rhythm IMHO.  It would, however, be easy to LISTEN too ... maybe as part of your wedding prelude, or a selection as part of your dinner music?  

    You're sweet and smart - offering a compliment (it's pretty) and an alternative (I was thinking maybe something happier like "Happy" ) might be the way to go.  

    In the end, it is (or should be) only about 3 minutes ... so whatever makes you both smile will be right for the moment.  

    Following is from wikipedia - I had to look up this song origin...... #CivilWar  
    "Ashokan Farewell" is a piece of music composed by Jay Ungar in 1982. It has served as a goodnight or farewell waltz at the annual Ashokan Fiddle & Dance Camps, run by the composer and his wife (Molly Mason, who gave the tune its name) at the lakefront campus (near Ashokan Reservoir) of the State University of New York at New Paltz. The tune was later used as the title theme of the 1990 PBS television miniseries The Civil War,[1] as well as the 1991 compilation album Songs of the Civil War.
  • I love Ashokan Farewell (and can play it on the piano), but it's kind of a melancholy, reflective song, not something you'd dance to. Anyone who's seen Ken Burns' The Civil War will probably very sad images in their head when they hear it, which is the last thing you'd want at a wedding. Make a few alternative suggestions to your dad and tell him you'd like to pick a song together.
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