Choosing a MOH

footprints84

Hi All!  This is my first post on this site.  Newly engaged for almost 3 weeks.  I've been thinking about who I should have as my MOH...or if I should have one at all.  I already have an idea of my bridal party, even though I haven't asked anyone yet.  I am thinking of having my FH's sister and sister-in-law as bridesmaids.   I do not have any sisters or close female family on my side.  I am debating between 2 girls as MOH.  I have my best friend from high school who I've just reconnected with about a year ago.  We ended up drifting apart when we were around 22...no hard feelings or anything, just life being busy etc....and I reached out to her last summer.  We have been hanging out at least once a month and texting a few times a week.  She lives an hour away from me.  (I moved in with my FH last year, and it is an hour away from where I used to live).  I have a good time with her and know she is a true friend, but would it be weird to ask her to be MOH if I just reconnected with her last year?  The other girl is actually one of my FH's  best friends and I have become pretty close with her as well.  We have been close for probably a little over a year.  She lives less than 10 minutes away.  We talk a few times a week and hang out usually once a week at least.  She is someone we can both count on.  Would it be weird asking her to be MOH because I have only known her for the 2 years that I have been dating my FH?  I'm sure either of them would love to be MOH, I'm just not sure who would better fit the title, or if I should even have a MOH at all.  Thanks in advance!

LDay2014

footprints84 said:

Hi All!  This is my first post on this site.  Newly engaged for almost 3 weeks.  I've been thinking about who I should have as my MOH...or if I should have one at all.  I already have an idea of my bridal party, even though I haven't asked anyone yet.  I am thinking of having my FH's sister and sister-in-law as bridesmaids.   I do not have any sisters or close female family on my side.  I am debating between 2 girls as MOH.  I have my best friend from high school who I've just reconnected with about a year ago.  We ended up drifting apart when we were around 22...no hard feelings or anything, just life being busy etc....and I reached out to her last summer.  We have been hanging out at least once a month and texting a few times a week.  She lives an hour away from me.  (I moved in with my FH last year, and it is an hour away from where I used to live).  I have a good time with her and know she is a true friend, but would it be weird to ask her to be MOH if I just reconnected with her last year?  The other girl is actually one of my FH's  best friends and I have become pretty close with her as well.  We have been close for probably a little over a year.  She lives less than 10 minutes away.  We talk a few times a week and hang out usually once a week at least.  She is someone we can both count on.  Would it be weird asking her to be MOH because I have only known her for the 2 years that I have been dating my FH?  I'm sure either of them would love to be MOH, I'm just not sure who would better fit the title, or if I should even have a MOH at all.  Thanks in advance!

STUCK IN BOX

You don't have to have MOH and if someone doesn't immediately jump out at you, then DON'T.  You'll hear women on here say that your MOH should be someone who would help you hide a body...no questions asked.  This is one of the most important things you can say about your friendship, and it shouldn't be done arbitrarily.  If you want to have a MOH, make sure it's someone who is really there for you and has stood by you through trials in your life.  Don't just give someone an empty title because it's what people do.  

There's nothing wrong with having a few BM and no MOH, but it should be just that...an HONOUR.

manateehugger

The only way someone is a better fit for the MOH title is if they are the person closest to you in the world aside from the person you are marrying. 

If no one person doesn't come to mind, just go with no MOH. I've got big sisters and close friends. I couldn't/didn't want to pick, so I simply don't have a MOH. 

Trust me, no one, and I mean no one, has noticed any difference. It has not affected a single aspect of our wedding in the slightest. 

atlastmrsg

If you really want to have one, and you think two women are equal candidates for how much they mean to you, consider which one has the composure, energy, and abilities to help out best if something goes wrong.  The person who can get you calm and centered.  Or the person who can jump in if needed.  

My wedding was last weekend.  The flowers were delivered at noon for a 4:30 ceremony...in the wrong color.  My MOH jumped in to help, even leading the re-do of the centerpieces.  I'm lucky she was calm and creative, and willing to coordinate things while I was in my make up appointment.  If not, I'd have been really disappointed in the flowers, and my planner wasn't going to be there for another hour to deal with it.  On top of that, she's the person I can talk to about anything and who I can spend hours with and it feels like minutes.  If I wasn't into men, I'd think she was my soulmate since we can do something like shop at the same stores and shoot all in the same afternoon, and think it goes together logically.

CMGragain

You didn't mention when you are planning to be married.  I usually advise brides to wait until about 7 months out from their wedding date to choose their attendants.  Relationships can change.  We see a lot of drama here because brides have asked too quickly, and later changed their minds.  Once you have asked someone, you cannot un-ask them.

afox007

Just ask your self who this would be 

dcaviston

I have 2 MOH. As soon as we got engaged I immediately asked both my best friends. I sent them a group message(differing work schedules impossible to meet up at the time) telling them I couldn't dream of my wedding with out either of them standing up with me and I wasn't about to attempt to pick one so I pick both of you. The both whole heartedly accepted since before life got crazy a few years ago and we moved apart we were inseparable. But if your situation isn't the same, and it doesn't sound like it is, I would think about going with out one.

sarawifenow

Why not have both?

brandi902

If one is married, you could have a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor...or just 2 Maid's of Honor. I do agree with the waiting to ask suggestion. I picked a couple months after becoming engaged, and though the girls that I asked are doing great, I may not have chosen to have as many if I would have waited.