Pre-wedding Parties

Nix the Bridal Shower.... Co-ed Send off Party!

Hi Everyone! 

My fiancé and I are getting married in California but most of my family lives in another state. I have had many subtle and not so subtle suggestions to do my ceremony abroad and the reception in state. The problem is that one way my whole family is inconvenienced and has to travel out of state and the other way my fiancé's whole family has to travel and is inconvenienced. In California we have so much help and are able to do the whole wedding and reception for pennies on the dollar because of all the local vendors my fiancé's family knows. I'm tired of everyone complaining and wan't to consider my options. 

WHAT IF: We invite everyone to our formal wedding ceremony and reception in California. We also host a send off shower (in place of my bridal shower-- I am happy to do this because I want a coed shower) where anyone from my state that wants to celebrate our wedding but can't afford to make the trip can come enjoy a nice meal and a fun BBQ at my house. This way people who can afford the trip are welcome to make it, but the others who can't afford it are still able to celebrate. Does this seem too weird? 

To me it allows me to use all the freebies Cali has to offer (and the beach!) while letting me host something for my family that is inexpensive so there aren't two full on receptions to plan. PLUS everyone is invited to BOTH so they can choose what they can afford. What do you all think? 

Re: Nix the Bridal Shower.... Co-ed Send off Party!

  • Quick note: We will pay for this whole thing. My MOH is only planning the Bachelorette Party. So this won't fall on the maid's! 
  • My only concern is that you might come off looking "gift grabby" which is not how you sound at all. The way you explain it in your post is perfectly reasonable and considerate. Will the "send off" invitations convey your true sentiment?
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I agree with PP that it sounds gift grabby, even though that is not your intention. I would just invite everyone to your wedding and next time you are back in the other state host a casual open house party/ BBQ. 
  • vsgalvsgal member
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Just have the wedding.  You will be surprised at the number of people that will travel to the wedding.  Don't have two parties to accommodate everyone.  You need to decide what is important to you, people from you town attending or cheaper prices in CA.  Once you make that decision, your guests will make the decision on spending the money to come to the event. 
  • Life is short...... have both parties..... celebrate anytime you can!!!!
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