Just Engaged and Proposals

Just got engaged, should I be upset with my friend?

My friends are few and far in between. I was very excited to get engaged because my finance is my best friend, but he's not one for girl drama. I have one girlfriend I talk to every day and even though I haven't known her long (only 2 years). I only know a few other people, no one I talk to regularly, but still people I consider friends. I was talking to my friend, let's call her Sue, about when my finance and I went to go look at rings and how excited I was. I told Sue I didn't know when I would get my ring but talked with her a lot about how excited I was.

My finance proposed on a Friday night. I wanted to call my parents the next morning but it was my sister's baby shower. I didn't want to steal my sister's thunder for the day so decided to wait a week till my parents arrived for their visit so I could tell them in person. I wanted to tell someone so I told Sue and sent her a picture of the ring. She casually e-mailed me the next day saying she met up with a mutual friend for lunch and showed her the picture of my ring. I was a little upset with Sue because I had planned to tell that friend (and everyone else) once I told my parents. When I told her she took away one person I would get to surprise with the news her answer was, "Right, like you were going to see her." I don't know how to respond. Just because I won't be able to see them to tell them in person any time soon, I'd still like to call them, text them, e-mail them or something, but at least be the one to tell them. I don't have many people in my life I get to tell about my engagement and was excited for each one. Am I going crazy now because I have a ring on my finger, or do I have a right to be upset that Sue is telling my other friends about my engagement before I get a chance? 

Re: Just got engaged, should I be upset with my friend?

  • Your friend shouldn't be sharing YOUR news. I do think you have the right to be a bit upset about it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • Did you tell her that she was supposed to keep the news secret?  If you didn't, then you shouldn't be upset with her.  This was YOUR mistake.  You should have waited.
    [Deleted User]KeptInStitcheslove05312014
  • You all bring up very good points, thanks for the advice! I think I'll tell her that I would like her to refrain from telling more people because I want to be the one to share the news. 
  • I would also think about apologizing for snapping at her, and mention that you should have specified that you wanted to keep it just between the two of you until you could tell x, y, and z people, but you didn't, and that was your fault. And tell her that you love her! (or whatever language you usually use to express how much you value your friendship with her)
    [Deleted User]biggrouch
  • I agree with PP's. Unfortunately, we are only human..and cannot read minds. She might just not have known you were wanting it to be a surprise. I am sure your friend will still be super excited when you tell her. Just politely let Sue know to refrain from telling anyone else. No harm no foul.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • it's your news, not hers. I wish more people were respectful of this.
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