November 2014 Weddings

Finding an Officiant?

How are you finding yours? I've looked at TK and other wedding websites but not finding the perfect person. The Google searches I've been doing are bringing up the same handful of people. My local board has a post with vendors used but all of the officiants are the ones that keep coming up, and I'm not totally in love with any of them. Maybe we're just being too picky wanting a male who's older than us that has little to no accent.

Re: Finding an Officiant?

  • Are you looking for someone affiliated with a specific religion or a JOP?

    We went to the county that we were getting married and found a JOP who is also a Unitarian Minister.
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  • My FI found a lovely lady online that was perfect for us.  I find that wedding shows have officiants and friends also have advice to give.  Sometimes asking the people you know at work or school can dig up a lead or two. Wedding wire might have something as well.

    I'm curious about the accent thing.  Are you afraid of not understanding the officiant if they have a thick accent?  I'm intrigued, April lol.
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  • We're not looking specifically for a religion, most of the "basic" wordings work well for us - the mention of God will be in our ceremony at some point. I've looked on other wedding websites and have found a lot of the same people as I have on here, and the few I have tried contacting haven't responded (it's been a few weeks). I've asked some friends but no co-workers yet (they're all 18-20 and unmarried, but I know that doesn't mean they can't have a lead). My sister suggested a somewhat mutual friend of ours but FI doesn't really like the idea of a friend doing it. I didn't think about going to a wedding show to possibly find someone, and I didn't think it would be so hard to find someone in the big city that I live in. @hikebikebemerry Did you just walk into the county courthouse and ask about JOPs? How exactly does that work? @goldchocobo I live in TX so there are a lot of different kinds of thick accents. It's more for everyone being able to understand them because my family and I are from CA, so we "don't have accents." I've had a lot of people ask me where I'm from because of the "lack of accent," even though I moved here when I was 4.
  • Nope, we went on the county's website. (We are getting marries about 2.5 hours from where we live.)
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  • KLee17KLee17 member
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    @April192002‌ if you're having a hard time finding someone you like, what about asking a close friend or family member to get ordained and perform the ceremony? It would be a very memorable service and a great way to honor someone close to you.
  • @KLee17 FI is totally against that for some crazy, odd reason. Actually, we don't really have a close friend or family member who'd we be totally thrilled to perform the ceremony. I keep talking about cost and mentioning my dad, and he's actually not 100% opposed to that anymore (down to about 90%), but he wants to keep looking. Most of the time he's just says whatever or you decide...why can't he just be like that about my dad! :)
  • finally emailed the JOP for the district of the city that we will be getting married in and found out he's available and it's only $200. Since FI has said over and over that he would feel a little weird having my dad perform the ceremony I figured we should hire someone. I exchanged a few emails with the secretary and don't have much information. All I know is that this JOP is available and the cost. When do I have to pay? Do we have to provide our own vows or does he provide them (we don't want to write our own)? Do we ever meet/talk to him prior so we know what to expect the day of? When do I need to let them know the exact time of our ceremony? How early will he arrive? Does he take attire requests (I don't expect anything crazy - just a suit and tie and I prefer it to be in black or gray but who really cares)? Do I need to feed him or does just jet after the ceremony? I hate not knowing!

    We both believe in God, though neither of us are active in a church, and are Protestant (I was born and raised Southern Baptist and he's fond of Catholic & Methodist) so we believe that God should be mentioned somewhere at some point in the vows/ceremony, but aren't looking for a sermon. I just wish FI knew how complicated/stressful this has become for me, but all it would take is another email to figure out the answers.

    I do have to say that the secretary was a little - meh! In my original email I signed my name and phone number, in case they needed to call instead of email. She responded that he is available, it's $200, she needs a contact number and the groom's name, and she'll put us on the calendar. Ummm...didn't I already give you my phone number? Whatever! I gave her my phone number again but in the body of the email. I'm surprised that she didn't ask me the location, which I also put in the original email - and that makes me wonder if she actually understands that I want him to come to our venue (but it's on a Saturday right after Thanksgiving so the courts would normally be closed).

  • Maybe a lot of people reach out to this secretary for quickie type weddings and she's used to the whole "Yup, sign here, it's 200 bucks and he'll show up at this time.  NEXT!"  Maybe it is easier to call her with questions?

    Don't be stressed out :(  You are that much closer to getting your officiant!

    Our officiant will not be staying.  You do not have you feed your officiant.  They typically leave after the ceremony so they can mail your paperwork.
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