Weddings starting as scheduled?

NYCMercedes

When describing a wedding she attended last weekend, a friend noted that the wedding "naturally didn't start on time." I said WHAT? She said weddings normally never start on time. Really? News to me. News to you?

Simky906

Well, if the most recent wedding I attended is any example, then I'm afraid your friend is right. We weren't even let into the room where the wedding was held until 5PM (when the wedding was supposed to start) and the bride didn't walk down the aisle until at least a half hour later. And at the wedding I was in last summer I think we started 10-15 minutes late. Though as a BM I didn't have a watch on.

However, I am adamant that my wedding will be starting on time. My stepmom and FI's grandmas will be seated at 5PM on the nose. I have actually had to tell this to one (constantly late person) and I'm pretty sure they didn't believe me. Their loss though if they show up 15 minutes late and miss half the wedding!

FutureMrsN3312

My wedding was right on time.  The wedding before mine was running an hour late which was going to make me late until my MOH and priest stepped in.

I'd be highly annoyed sitting around waiting for someone.

wandajune6

We're getting married on time. I told FI that he can lie to his brothers about the start time by 2 hours if that's what it takes to get everyone on time. My family's chronically early, I'm obsessively on time or early, and FI's usually pretty prompt.

I'd be ticked if I had to wait a long time for a ceremony to start.

mysticl

Several years ago I was doing a reading for a friend's wedding.  At the rehearsal the priest told her to just let him know if they needed to start late because people hadn't arrived yet or whatever.  She was like "no".  The invite said 2pm she was at the alter by 2:05pm.  When I told people about her wedding there was much surprise expressed at this.  

The chapel we got married in had very strict rules.  We were allotted from noon to 1 for the ceremony.  People could gain entry to the building 45 minutes prior to the start time and we had to be completely out of the building 45 minutes after the end time.  It was possible for another wedding to be scheduled at 2pm though it didn't happen that day.  If it had that would have meant that we would have had the building from 11:15am to 1:45pm and the next couple would have had it from 1:15pm to 3:45pm.  We would have overlapped each other for half an hour. One of the reasons they did not allow pre-ceremony photography.  In those circumstances starting late was absolutely not an option.  We didn't need the full hour for our ceremony so we were out early.  

beethery

When FSIL and FBIL got married last year, it started 45 minutes late. FSILs family is populated entirely by shitdicks who do not give a single fuck if anyone is waiting on them.

audubonbride2013

Our wedding started on time, and most of the weddings we've been to have started on time.  My friend's wedding I was in a few years ago started late, but that was only because the limo was late picking us up.

Rebl90

I was in a wedding last month that started 30 minutes late...because the MOB showed up 30 minutes late.  I felt terrible for my friend because for the first 20 minutes they couldn't reach the MOB and thought they might have to do it without her.

I told FI we are waiting for no one. NO ONE.  All parents/siblings have been informed of that and we will start 5 minutes past the start time at the most. 

JCbride2015

I have been to weddings that started on the dot, and weddings where we waited over half an hour.  It varies widely.  I don't mind waiting 10 minutes, after that I get annoyed.

climbingsingle

My friend's wedding last year started an hour late because of the limo not showing up. I will say that most of the weddings I've attended have started late, even if it was just 5 minutes. I will be doing everything in my power to start exactly right on time.

mysticl

I know when I looked at reception venues most of them had set blocks of time for your event.  So if your ceremony ran 45 minutes late that was 45 minutes off of your reception time.  They didn't start your time when you got there, they started it at the contractually stated start time.  That also means they've been holding your food for 45 minutes…..yuck.  

Cookie Pusher

We plan to start our ceremony exactly on time. I've been kept waiting at more than one wedding (one of them really annoyed me because it was a chilly day and it was starting to drizzle [outdoor ceremony], but the bride said she was having so much fun hanging out with people INSIDE the venue that she didn't want to come out... until 30 minutes later), and I never ever feel less annoyed each time it happens.

speakeasy14

Last wedding I was in the bride created a schedule that showed the exact times for every single important person for the day, and where they needed to be.  In the stress leading up to the wedding she forgot to include extra time to get into her dress (it was a corset and every time she tried it on the seamstress had her in within minutes).  We ended up getting to the church a half hour late.  

The wedding before that we got stuck in a freak snow storm (not in winter), and ended up being an hour late.  

I've also been to weddings that started on time and the ceremony would be over and guests would be just showing up. 

Things happen. As long as you can manage lost time, no big deal. 

mysticl

Rebl90 said:

I was in a wedding last month that started 30 minutes late...because the MOB showed up 30 minutes late.  I felt terrible for my friend because for the first 20 minutes they couldn't reach the MOB and thought they might have to do it without her.

I told FI we are waiting for no one. NO ONE.  All parents/siblings have been informed of that and we will start 5 minutes past the start time at the most. 

How about thinking that something bad might have happened to her.  If my mom had been late for my wedding I'd have been positive something horrible had happened.  

ashley8918

beethery said:

When FSIL and FBIL got married last year, it started 45 minutes late. FSILs family is populated entirely by shitdicks who do not give a single fuck if anyone is waiting on them.

You keep saying the most wonderful things. Please never stop. Permanently adding shitdick to my vicabulary.

littlestmonkey

Most weddings I've been to recently have started within ten minutes of the scheduled time. One friend recently just didn't walk into the church - music started, we all stood up and turned to see her walk in - and - nothing. The priest in the end went to find out what was happening. She then did come in. We asked her afterwards what happened and she said she just froze! (As in stage fright - they are one of the happiest couples I know). At another wedding recently a similar thing happened and again we were talking to the bride afterwards and she said that she was annoyed because the venue (not a church) was telling her she had to wait. I can only assume that they weren't quite ready behind the scenes because as far as we could see everything for the ceremony was ready to go.

Lizzieyounce

We started on time…even with a BM running late because she changed her mind about her dress (I let my ladies pick whatever black, floor length they wanted).  She ran in just as the first BM started walking.  No way in hell were we holding up the wedding for her.

Other than a traffic accident or a flat tire, you know serious stuff, should a wedding start late. Ever.  If you have guests that are running late, too bad.  They can cool their heels in the back until the wedding party has walked.

sarahufl

You bet your ass my 3pm ceremony is starting at 3pm. FBILs are always incredibly late and, while I like them, they can be incredibly thoughtless and inconsiderate. I told FI that they have no excuses, they get there on time or else. We are actually hiring transportation for our families just to make sure they get to the church on time.

I am already anxious about this. FI and I are incredibly prompt (one of his selling points!) and his brothers make my blood boil. They see zero problems with showing up places 30, 45 minutes late.

SapphireCounselor

Ours started on time. I think the other weddings I have attended have as well.

jules3964

Our officiant claims that weddings "usually" start a half hour late, because "that's how weddings go."

Not my wedding! I can't imagine making guests wait a half hour unless something catastrophic happened.

jenndeirdre

The weddings I've been to have been a few minutes late max.15, but for my own it will have to be on time, I can't stand being late to anything. Stresses me out if I'm behind, I'd probably be there before everyone if I have it go my way!

mrsmorales2be

It would have to take something quite catastrophic for ours to start late - Fr. is meticulous about Masses beginning on time.

shaylagirl

Ours started late. I did put in a 15 minute 'buffer' with my officiant to start the ceremony because I was worried that my limo might show up late causing me to be late. However, the limo was on time, but, my MOH was in an auto accident on her way to my sister's house, so we ran late getting me in to my gown trying to console her and making sure she was REALLY okay. Then we left my bouquet and attendants bouquets at my sister's house, so...we actually ended up starting about 30 minutes late. I was hyper-embarassed about it. However, since we only had the ceremony site for an hour and a half, we were over and done before our allotted time was up. Ceremony really only took about 20 minutes, we did some pictures at the ceremony site, then sent everyone off to the reception site (about 10 minutes away) and got in and got to eating!!

kmmssg

EVERY one of my girls has gone down the aisle right on the dot and I did too.  It is called backwards planning and it works like a charm.

Most people start with what time they think they need to get up, blah blah blah.  Nope - you start with your ceremony start time and go backwards.  Wanna go down the aisle at 5 pm?  You need to be out of sight by 4:30, you need to do pics prior to that, you need to factor in travel time in the limo to and from EVERYWHERE, hair salon, etc;  you build in lunch, and you choose 3 places to build in an extra 10 minutes for a buffer.  Once you have accounted backwards for every minute of your day, then  you figure out when to get up, shower, eat breakfast, etc.

CMGragain

I've played the organ for more than 100 church weddings.  Most started within ten minutes of the printed starting time, but things do happen.

1.  Bride falls down steps and rips the skirt from the bodice of her dress.  It took 45 minutes to sew it back together.

2.  FOB (parents divorced) was out on a drunken spree.  The Groomsmen got in their cars and went looking for him.  They found him in a bar, too drunk to walk his daughter down the aisle.  (Sad.)

3.  Groom in stuck in a Washington, DC traffic jam.  (This was before cell phones.)

4.  Waiting for MOB, who is self catering the reception.  She never showed up at all, and phoned to say, "Go ahead without me!"

5.  Bride had the jitters, and cried off her makeup.  She finally decided to go through with it, and I believe that they are still happily married.

lc07

We started on time. But we were also very non traditional. We put 4:30 on our invites for ceremony, and that we would be hosting cocktails and h'ordeurves at the ceremony site at 4 pm. So most everyone arrived at 4. We were there to greet guests as they arrived and mingled with them. And then we started the ceremony at 4:30. I think there were a few people who hadn't arrived by then, but all our VIPs were there. We also didn't do a processional. And people were drinking and eating during our ceremony. 

I think it's rude to start late. At the same time, I do understand people who start late because Grandma's driver didn't get there there yet because the limo driver is a dick and they can't imagine Grandma missing the ceremony. I do NOT condone starting late because you need to retouch your lipstick and take your sweet time doing it. 

Ven&Radio

I think my wedding started on time (or very close to it).  I didn't have a clock/watch/cellphone near me for hours before the ceremony.  I made it very clear to my DOC and other vendors that the invites said 5:30 so the music and procession was going to start at 5:30 on the DOT regardless of who was missing.  We did all our family photos before the ceremony so none of the VIPs had a reason to not be on site by the ceremony time, but even if someone was MIA I wasn't going to let them hold everything up.

I agree with kmmssg about planning backwards.  My day started at about 6:30am for my 5:30pm ceremony.  That allowed me plenty of time to get everything done with buffers between each item on the list for traffic, appointments running over, etc.

All of the weddings I've been to (admittedly, only a few) have started pretty close to on time.  I felt bad for the groom at one wedding, though.  It was supposed to start at 2pm and at that time the groom walked down the aisle and took his place under the arbor.  He stands there for a minute, starts to fidget, no music or any indication that anyone else is ready to start.  Then he went over and talked to his family in the front row for a few minutes.  Maybe 5 minutes later the music and procession started.  I felt so bad for him, those must have been 5 incredibly long minutes standing there waiting.

LadyMillil

We started pretty close to on time. The minister went in a few minutes early to ask people to take their seats and make her pre-ceremony announcements. We were getting ready for the processional when DH's aunt comes running down the hallway from the bathroom. She said she thought she had time because weddings always start late. We waited for her to sit down then started. Every wedding I've been to except one started 5-15 minutes late. The one that started on time was at the courthouse and they had an appointment with the JOP.

Senecaf

I have only been to a few weddings in my adult life. Two of them started late. One of them was a co workers weddi n and we waited for at least a half an hour. That was terrible. The other was like 15 minutes but it was bearable because I knew many of the guests and had people to talk to. If i hadn't I would be upset.

I plan to start mine on time. I'm not going to wait for anyone. I expect all of my VIPs to be ontime. If they are not shame on them. Unless there is some extreme circumstance, I don't see anything that would excuse their being late. (I'm talking wedding party and parents here) I don't want to inconvenience everyone else for one person.

[Deleted User]

Mine and H's wedding started 10 minutes late. H's estranged piece-of-shit father showed up and tried to sneak onto the ceremony site to see the ceremony. Our site coordinator and DOC were fantastic, getting him away from the area and escorting him to the sheriff's car with with their entourage of maintenance workers. All this without H or the guests knowing. Other than that hiccup, everything else was on time.

JennyColada

We are doing pre-ceremony h'ordeurves and champagne, so I doubt we will be starting late (also, thanks to only having 6 guests! It's easy to get everyone wrangled up!).