One venue - invitation help!

kbiagio

Hi!

I'm super new at the whole board thing... so please don't bite my head off!

Anyways..I was wondering I'm going to be ordering my invitations soon, but the venue I'm having my wedding at is also the same place the reception will take place. Now I know that it's common to include a card in the invitation where the reception will be held.. but mine are in the same location..

Do I include a card with the reception info? or do I put it all on one invitation?

I'm so confused on what to do!

Maggie0829

You can just put "Reception to Follow" at the bottom of your invitation.

tammym1001

Maggie0829 said:

You can just put "Reception to Follow" at the bottom of your invitation.

My ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception were in one place. We did what Maggie said ^^^^

kbiagio

Thanks!! I obviously was over thinking it!

CMGragain

It should be "Reception to follow".  Do not capitalize "follow".

leelabear

Some people want it real causal (for BBQs, etc) and will word it "Dinner and dancing to follow"

Jen4948

leelabear said:

Some people want it real causal (for BBQs, etc) and will word it "Dinner and dancing to follow"

This isn't appropriate.  Regardless of how casual or formal the reception is, it is not appropriate to announce on the invitation the type of hospitality being offered, because guests are supposed to accept the hospitality provided graciously, regardless of what it consists of.  It also invites judgment on the guests' part as well as failure to attend if they don't want dinner or dancing.

biggrouch

Wait, what? How come that's not ok, but inviting someone to a rehearsal dinner is OK? Rehearsal "dinner" says what's being hosted. It's right there in the name.

CMGragain

A Rehearsal dinner is an event.  You do not describe the food in the invitation. 
A wedding reception is an event.  You do noy describe the food here, either.  It is assumed by the time of day.

biggrouch

I think "dinner" could be considered an event, as well. It might be reasonable to say that such information is unnecessary but "inappropriate"? Please.

CMGragain

I am sorry that you do not like the traditional wording rules.  They are real.  They do exist.  You can violate the tradition, but be aware that you are doing this before you order your invitations.  You Aunt Phoebe will know.

biggrouch

I hear a lot of rhetoric about how "oh, etiquette is about treating people nicely, it's about being kind to people." That argument works better for some of the Knot's favorite etiquette rules than others (it's actually a major inconvenience to ask your bridesmaids to pay for their hair; but does it really inconvenience or hurt anyone to wear a giant white dress to a party celebrating your wedding a few weeks after your ceremony, if everyone knows your ceremony's already taken place?). But this particular rule, as you say, is at best a "tradition." Cowering in fear of the judgment of bitchy Aunt Phoebe who, apparently, has no life and cares about an immaterial (because it's still straightforward and non-offensive and therefore has no moral import) change in wording from the "traditional rules"? People should have more self-respect than to live their lives that way. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to use traditional wording if you like traditional stuff--it's just depressing to do it because of Aunt Phoebe.

CMGragain

I believe the rule is there to avoid (shudder) bragging about one's reception.  It is fine to post information about the menu on your website.
The invitation is a simple note from the hosts to the guests, stating briefly, who, what, when and where - not why or how.
Traditional wording is not important.  Bragging about the extent of one's reception is in bad taste.  You can certainly do it if you wish, but it isn't traditional.

biggrouch

Bragging about the extent of one's reception is in bad taste.

Ahhhhh that actually makes so much more sense to me. I would still think it was silly to judge someone for that mostly b/c it doesn't sound like bragging to me, but I finally see your logic. I legit didn't get the "bragging" aspect of what you were saying. Lightbulb!

kbiagio

I literally have no idea what any of you are talking about. How is having a reception & wording it not traditionally bragging?

CMGragain

kbiagio said:

I literally have no idea what any of you are talking about. How is having a reception & wording it not traditionally bragging?

???

theartistformerlyknownas

kbiagio said:

I literally have no idea what any of you are talking about. How is having a reception & wording it not traditionally bragging?

It can be either bragging or opening yourself up to judgment to describe to what extent you intend to host your guests. To say "champagne and caviar reception to follow" would sound totally braggadocios. To just say "hors d'oeuvres to follow" might invite some of your ruder guests to judge your hospitality and think you're being cheap (you're not, as long as it's not a mealtime). It's just not a necessary distinction to put on an invitation. You should say "reception to follow" without feeling the need to make it sound over the top, and your guests should graciously accept whatever is hosted.

I personally don't have a huge problem with "dinner and dancing to follow" except I don't think it comes off as a more "casual" way of wording it. Black tie events involve dinner and dancing, too. I actually think the opposite, and I sort of roll my eyes in an "oh, you think you fancy" kind of way. Like, obviously DANCING, dahhhhling. C'mon.