Not Registering For Gifts- Other Options?

bekt14

   

Jen4948

Not registering doesn't guarantee either that you won't get boxed gifts or will get cash, but there is no polite, non-tacky way to ask for any type of gift, whether it is boxed, cash, gift cards, or otherwise, except through registries for boxed gifts. That said, you are more likely to get cash or gift cards as opposed to boxed gifts if you don't register.

VulgarGirl

First, you don't register for anything at all. Second, you politely refuse any showers. Third, if (and ONLY IF, IF is a very important word here) someone asks you what you'd like you respond "Oh, anything would be lovely but we are saving up to remodel the kitchen". And finally fourth, no matter what you get you said a thank you note in timely fashion. Even if they send you three blenders because Great Aunt Ida is touched in the head, you thank her for three blenders.

NYCMercedes

Just don't register. People will get the hint. You could have the parents, when pressed, say that you are saving for a house or whatever.

MobKaz

Knottie19728895 said:

Hello, I've been living on my own for a while now. I've furnished several houses/apartments by myself. I already have all the essential household supplies that my husband-to-be and I will need. Therefore, I've decided not to register for gifts. I originally wanted to register for an online honeymoon fund, but my mom said it was tacky and inappropriate. She also said registering for gift funds (for larger items- like a new bed) was also tacky. So, I'm wondering what other options I have. Really, cash or gift cards would be great. How do you ask for money instead of physical gifts in a way that is polite and not "tacky".

I applaud your mom for not being afraid to be honest with you about your "registry" ideas, and I applaud you for respecting her opinion and good sense.

ohannabelle

Mom is correct. You have a good mother. 

melbenso

I'm in the same boat you are. FI wanted to do a honeymoon registry, and I nixed the idea.  He finally agreed when I explained that those sites take a portion of the "gift" and keep it, so if grandma gives us $100, she really only gives us $93 and some random person on the internet $7.

We did make a small registry to upgrade some items (60 things on it total, more than half of them under $50), but I didn't have a shower, so no registry information was ever sent out.  And very few people have asked where we are registered.  I'm just over 2 weeks out from the wedding and only 5 items from the registry have been purchased.  While I assume that a few more items might get purchased between now and the wedding, I am confident in assuming that most of my guests figured that we would prefer monetary gifts, which is great because we are saving to buy a house.

ETA: And any items from our upgrade registry that we really want, we can purchase with our registry completion discount after the wedding.

climbingsingle

Your mom is right. And kudos to her for telling you what she did. 

Like PPs said, you just don't register and you refused any showers. 

theartistformerlyknownas

Knottie19728895 said:

Hello, I've been living on my own for a while now. I've furnished several houses/apartments by myself. I already have all the essential household supplies that my husband-to-be and I will need. Therefore, I've decided not to register for gifts. I originally wanted to register for an online honeymoon fund, but my mom said it was tacky and inappropriate. She also said registering for gift funds (for larger items- like a new bed) was also tacky. So, I'm wondering what other options I have. Really, cash or gift cards would be great. How do you ask for money instead of physical gifts in a way that is polite and not "tacky".

Money is a gift. Everyone knows it's an appropriate wedding gift, especially when they realize there's no registry of boxed gifts to choose from. No need to ask for it.