parents not being part of processional

jules3964

Hi ladies! We're not having a bridal party and would like to keep our ceremony very simple. We are having a small outdoor wedding of no more than 50 guests. It seems like for most weddings I've been to, the parents are escorted in some fashion as part of the processional. Is it weird if we have our parents (except for my dad) just seat themselves at some point before the ceremony starts? Thus the only part of a processional would be me walking down the aisle with my dad. 

I'm a tad worried about offending FI's parents by doing this (like maybe they'd feel like they weren't included), but neither of us really know how they'll react or if it's important to them. FI doesn't care what they think, but I kinda do...  

I guess my overall question is, would it be a weird and/or generally offensive thing to not include them in the processional?

soontobemrshamilton

great question...I'd like to know as well. How does it all work any how? FI's parents together? Or just mom? What if it's a step parent?

Jen4948

The processional and recessional are things that you can pretty much adapt to your own particular circumstances.

Before you make a final decision, you might ask everyone about their preferences, and then, together with your FI, work out arrangements that will satisfy, if not everyone, as many of the people involved as possible.  Obviously you would want to keep people separated who don't get along, and you don't want to give the impression that parents who are not married to each other are, so they wouldn't walk together.  But, parents and stepparents who are married to each other could walk together.

AddieCake

We didn't do a processional for our families. If it was weird, we didn't care.

NYCMercedes

I'm traditional and think the last seated guest should be the MOB. 'Course, I was the MOB and will be again.

chibiyui

We didn't do a family processional. Our moms were seated before everything began.

MairePoppy

Ditto NYCMercedes

My feelings would have been hurt if my DD had omitted the traditional seating of the mothers before the processional. 

@soontobemrshamilton  before the processional: SMOG with her escort, SMOB with her escort, MOG with her escort, MOB with her escort. Escorts can be spouses, dates or ushers. Couples may walk with each other or the lady may be escorted by an usher with her husband or date following - in the same way a maitre d' would escort a couple to their table. Sometimes, Grandparents are formally seated before the parents. That is for a traditional Christian or secular wedding.

CMGragain

The only weddings I know where the parents process are Jewish weddings.  This is a Jewish tradition.

jules3964

Hmm, well maybe I just assumed it was considered part of the processional, but it's actually called something different? Like "the seating of the mothers/parents" or something?

Regardless, it just seems simpler for them to be seated like all other guests, on their own. But we will check whether or not it is important to them before making the final decision.

emmyg65

We didn't have a processional. The parents were out mingling as guests arrived. Then everyone took their seats. Then DH and I walked down the aisle. (My dad didn't walk me down.) It wasn't weird at all. I've even been to weddings where the bride and groom were also out mingling as guests arrived and then just made their way to the front of the crowd when they were ready to start the ceremony.

[Deleted User]

Do you have any nephews that are old enough (say 12 years old or older) that could do the part of being an usher just for the moms?

cupcait927

We're not having any processional outside of my dad walking me down the aisle to FI. No bridal party and moms will seat themselves. We did away with a lot of the traditional elements but having my dad walk me down the aisle is important to me. Everything else - not as much (tradition wise; I will be respecting etiquette rules to a T).