Girl Stuff and Questions

pinkshorts27

Hey everyone, 

I know you may not be able to help, but I have no clue who to ask. My mom is a farm girl and so isn't much help on this specific topic.

So I've never been much of a girly girl. Like wearing soccer shorts and a t-shirt was a daily occurrence in high school/college.  I'm a little bit heavier than I was in high school and have no clue what colors to wear for makeup or how to dress for my body.

Where should I start for that? I need to get clothes for my new job. I'm in engineering, so wearing formal skirts or suits daily is not expected, but I want like dark jeans and slacks as options as well and nice shirts. The guys at my new job wear jeans/kakies (sp?) and collared polo shirts. I have no clue what type of shirts to get or how to find any that look okay, since I'm not super thin (a little overweight right now).  I guess I should start wearing makeup daily too? It seems expected, but professional makeup? Is that a thing? When I wear makeup I just always wear some light brown eye shadow, mascara and nude lip gloss and I only wear that when I'm going out.  I've tried wearing eye liner and colors on lips and eye shadow but I just think it all looks funny.

Is there someway to learn all of this at 24? I need to "build my brand" at my new job and appear put together and professional. 

phira

For clothes, I'd recommend reading the blog Already Pretty. For make-up, I'd recommend going into Sephora and asking a consultant for help! They're really helpful, and can teach you how to do your make-up and which kinds of products are good for you.

I'm 27 and still learning a lot of this.

pinkshorts27

Great. Thanks for the help. It gives me somewhere to start.

blabla89

For clothes, call your local Macy's and see if they offer personal shopping. All the ones here do - it's free (although you can tip the shopper) and you aren't required to buy. It can help give you an idea of how to dress to flatter your body type and what works for your office. I also love The Limited and the employees there are super helpful if you go at a not-busy time. But, it's a little pricey for me so I only shop there when I have a coupon, which they send out frequently if you sign up for their mailing list.

For makeup, I highly recommend going to Sephora/Ulta/department store cosmetics counter to get a makeover. Ask for a simple look that you can do easily every morning. There may be a purchase requirement, but if you don't want to buy high-end products you can just take note of what they used and find a more affordable version of the same products. Also, there are some great makeup tutorials on youtube. Really though, you don't need to do a full face every day. Just doing your eyes and a little concealer goes a long way to looking more put together.

That's what I learned when I was going through the same thing several years ago. Hope it helps!

vk2204

For clothes, do you have a place that you are comfortable shopping at to start? For me, no jeans fit me right ever, unless they come from American Eagle. So if I need pants that is where I start unfortunately. For putting outfits together, I have gone into a Macy's or other department store with nothing, or something I already had and found someone to work with me on what matches best. I tend to stay with neutral colors that I know will work well together.

The only make up I wear is mascara and that is because I have boy eyelashes and need mascara to not look like a child. IF I am feeling adventurous I will put on some eyeshadow and a lite powder but honestly I am too lazy to do a full face of make up. Most of my make up is Clinique and I purchased it all after I had a consultation there. They tried different options on me and told me what would work best, what colors are good for my skin tone, etc. They can also teach you how to apply everything - which looks easy but I have not gotten the hang of it lol. Start small, like you said you use mascara, maybe a pink lip and add some blush, which I found out recently is amazing lol.

good luck!

doeydo

I don't think you have to wear make up on a daily basis if you don't want to.

As for clothes, it sounds like your co-worker dresses kind of casual but not too casual.  i think trying on different types of clothes and looking in the mirror can help you figure out what if flattering on your body type and what you like/fits into your style (not meant to be snarky, in case it comes off that way).  

Some pants and capris:
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/pants/my-jam-jeans

http://www.modcloth.com/shop/pants/skate-night-jeans-in-plus-size

http://www.sears.com/metaphor-women-s-sateen-capri-pants-belt/p-007VA70002612P?selectedFilters=Occasion|Career\&prdNo=6

http://www.sears.com/covington-women-s-curvy-fit-dress-slacks/p-007VA65898512P?selectedFilters=Style|Trousers^Occasion|Career\&prdNo=4

Tops:

http://www.modcloth.com/shop/blouses/giddy-city-top-in-polka-dots (I have this in leopard print and it is super flattering)

http://www.modcloth.com/shop/blouses/grey-matters-peplum-top

http://www.modcloth.com/shop/search?keyword=the+dream+of+the+crop

aprilster

I am, as of lately, kind of obsessed with a concept called '5 piece basic french wardrobe' - you can google it or just look on pinterest. I think it's a great idea to have those basics and then build on that with more playful/colorful stuff if you like. But that's a way of dressing that looks professional and is still kind of casual.

For me, Pinterest is a great source of inspiration, generally

buddysmom80

I was on the same boat as you at your age too so I understand what you're going through! I went to a MAC makeup counter and had someone there teach me how to apply makeup, it was such a great help and it started me on my love of cosmetics. For clothes, I would find a store that you're comfortable shopping in (at the time for me it was Lane Bryant) and someone will put together a wardrobe for you.

I don't know what type of engineering you do, but just be careful with wearing suits with jackets being around machinery (if you are). My dad was an engineer for years (still is) and never wore a jacket to work and retired as a senior VP. They weren't allowed since the fabric could get caught in machinery.

With shoes, kitten heels are great. They're not flat and they're not heels so they look really stylish!

AnAngelGoneInsane

I understand what you mean, I know a little about what looks good on me and sometimes I still feel overwhelmed and not sure what to buy and wear. 

I would recommend a couple of stores that sound like they would be helpful (if they are near you of course) I really like New York and company, they are good for basics and the items for the most part can be dressed up or down. You should go there just to get some staples. Another great option is Maurice's it is amazing! They have a lot of normal everyday stuff but they also have a lot of business casual and they are more youthful feeling than some other stores. ( I always feel when I go shopping the stores are either made for older women or girls trying to be professional but are too young to know how, this store is a happy medium) bonus they carry sizes 0 to 24.

As far as makeup I suggest just experimenting and seeing if there is anything you like, however I do not feel it is mandatory for work IMO. When I go to work usually it is just mascara and maybe some powder if my flavor is blotchy very rarely do I do the whole shebang.

JMalettas

 By the sounds of it, they are fairly business casual. If you're going to wear jeans, dark jeans are the way to go. They definitely come off a little "dressier" than a light jean, & are generally slimming too. I also have a really hard time finding jeans that look right/fit. The only place that I've found the perfect jeans in a long time, is Old Navy. (As crazy as that may sound). They have these skinny jeans that are the *bomb*. I believe they're called "Rockstar Skinny Jeans", and they come in dark blue, and black. (I'm not sure where the Rockstar part comes from, as they're just regular looking jeans). If you have one near you, I'd definitely check them out! As far as shirts go, if you're going to wear a t-shirt, make sure it's collared. That's usually a #1 rule with wearing t-shirts to work. Otherwise, check out some blouses, and maybe a few dress scarfs to dress it up a bit. Layers can be good too. I usually wear a tank top of some sort under a blouse. If you're not a "girly-girl", flats are a good option with jeans. I'd steer clear of running shoes. You can purchase cheap flats, and dress scarfs at a place like Ardenes. 

 As far as make-up goes, I think that's more of a personal choice. If you want to wear it, and it's just the fact that you're not too sure what looks good, then I'd say check out one of those places that do the make-up trials. (As the PPs mentioned). They can show you how to use certain products, and what will look nice, etc. I wear make-up off and on at work. Some days I will, and other days I'm lazy. I don't think it's a "must", although it's nice to have the option.

 Good luck, and congrats on the new job! 

 *J

 

ElcaB

Try J's Everyday Fashion --- it's a great clothing/fashion blog. Also, TLC's What Not To Wear can be super helpful for learning how to shop for pieces you can mix and match. 

Makeup is a personal preference. If you're comfortable with your minimal makeup routine now, why change it? I used to wear all the makeup to work, then I started going minimal (unless I had important meetings) with just foundation, a little bit of blush, neutral eye shadow, and mascara. I recently had eye surgery and cannot wear eye makeup, so I've been skipping makeup completely. No one has deemed me unprofessional and I'm still a good employee. 

emmyg65

I just want to add that you don't need to wear makeup everyday. I've never worked in an office where the majority of women do wear it everyday (at least not since I was a bank teller). The ones who do wear it generally go subtle, just mascara and maybe a little eyeliner or shadow. I don't currently wear makeup to work most days. (I go in phases.)

Ann Taylor LOFT has some cute business casual clothes, and you can often find nice basics at Old Navy or Gap.

Finally, I wouldn't stress out too much about this. Unless you work in an environment where people put a premium on personal appearance, which it doesn't sound like you do, people care more about the quality of the work you do than how you look. Yeah, looking nice is useful and all, but it's not the most important thing. Take it slow, stay in your comfort zone, and you'll be fine.

larrygaga

Michelle phan's youtube channel has some really awesome tips. Also her website is helpful. She has a lot of tutorials that look crazy and halloween-y, but there are a lot of good makeup tips hidden in there that can be used for everyday stuff. I also like her fashion section. 

http://michellephan.com/

https://www.youtube.com/user/MichellePhan

HaileyDancingbear

Makeup is pretty optional, although it can be a lot of fun to play with.  It's an accessory, like jewerery IMO- you don't look unprofessional or ugly without a necklace on, but sometimes the right necklace can really make the outfit.  That might be a weird comparison, but that's how I see it.  I would recommend Michelle Phan's youtube channel, she has a lot of really awesome tutorials, and while she has a lot of over the top looks, you can find some tutorials for nice subtle makeup looks. 

As for clothes, my rule of thumb for a flattering top is to locate the smallest part of your torso- for some that's just under the bust, for me its just above my belly button, and wear tops that fit closest to the body at that point.  If you are uncomfortable with your belly, wear tops that fit at the waist, but then are a bit more flowy around the stomach area.  A nice blazer can be really figure flattering, as long as you pick one with nice shape to it that isn't super boxy.  Just make sure the narrowest part of the top lines up with the narrowest part of you and you'll see that it creates a super flattering look.  Literally you can look 10 pounds heavier or 10 pounds lighter just by choosing clothes that flatter your shape.

As for pants, I find straight leg jeans tend to be pretty flattering and look professional, definitely go for a dark wash, I personally LOVE dark wash jeans.  Also I would recommend not buying at Old Navy.  Their jeans are just not as flattering as other brands.  And since jeans can be worn with pretty much anything, they're worth investing the extra money in to get a pair you love and makes you feel sexy rather than a pair that's just "meh."

I think you should try on a ton of different stuff.  Try on a bunch of different styles and colors and shapes.  You'll get to see what works and what doesn't work, and know what to look for to get clothing that you feel great in.  I definitely think it's worth it to invest the time and money into clothes that you enjoy wearing and make you feel pretty. 

JCbride2015

I love this stuff, seriously.  I'm not kidding, if you've got an outfit and you don't know if it works, PM me.

It sounds like you can do well at your job with dark jeans or slacks and a nice top.  Honestly I would err on the side of wearing slacks, not jeans, because you are young and female.  When I was a 21-year-old teacher I made sure to dress up so I didn't look like a kid.  Get some light sweaters, or nice knit tops, and some chinos.

Here's the kind of look I'm thinking you probably want:

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/188025353166817242/

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/64809682109878138/

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/140174607125706862/

(this last one is jeans, but the dark denim looks really polished)

Here are a few ideas:

--http://corporette.com/2013/01/31/business-casual-for-women-without-being-overdressed/

--Subscribe to InStyle magazine. They do a great job of breaking down style by body type, color matching, etc.  It's a very "How To" focused magazine.

--Go to stores like J. Crew, Loft, Banana Republic and look at the mannequins, or look through those catalogs.  All of those stores are great for business casual and you can get ideas from how they put the clothes together, even if you go elsewhere to buy something less expensive.

--I second the suggestion to watch the TLC show "What Not to Wear."  It's on Netflix and is GREAT for showing how to dress your shape.

As for makeup, that's trickier.  I don't think you should feel like you have to wear makeup if you don't want to.  If you want to up your makeup game, Sephora is a great place to start.  Ask a salesperson to match your foundation color and set you up with a few basics.  Personally, I feel that doing a little bit of makeup on your skin (like tinted moisturizer, blush, and powder), plus just mascara and lip balm looks plenty professional.  Maybe add some brown eyeliner if you want more definition.  I do like a bit of makeup on my skin though, because I am really freckly and I think it helps me look more mature if I'm a bit toned down.  Plus I feel (rationally or not) that my makeup is a nice little barrier for my skin in the stinky subway.  

jenna8984

I just wanted to throw out there that you don't have to spend a lot either. I personally won't step foot in Macy's or other department stores due to the price tags. TJ Maxx and Marshalls carry lines by Willie Smith that I love for work. The shirts are cotton and silky and flowy (good for not super skinny) and usually have embellishment around the neck. They also have such a mish mosh of dress pants from all different designers. I have gotten Calvin Klein, BCBG Max Azria, The Limited with original tags up to $150 and I paid $30 for them. Also love the on sale cardigans from Old Navy, can't go wrong with a cardigan over a flowy tank top.

I don't wear makeup. I think the key is to just look clean and put together. In college it was like makeup from last night and a messy bun- that won't work. But all you need is a clean face, brushed teeth, groomed eyebrows, and hair styled. I am too lazy to blow dry, so I wet my hair in the tub (on mornings I don't shower) and pull it into a tight low bun.

OliveOilsMom

I recently found some Levi's jeans that are made for curvey woman and they are awesome!  It has the word Curvey in the title.  I've found mine at Macy's. 

I buy lots of clothes at Macy's.  They have a very generous return policy.  I usually buy online and then return in store.  I've recently bought some t-shirt from Macy's by Karen Scott - they are comfy, dressey enough for our business casual office, and aren't too clingy to the body.  They also have some good deals on shirts & pants with their Everday Values.  If you have a Macy's card, or wouldn't mind having one, you can save a lot extra just by using the card and you get coupons frequently.

I also recently discovered eshakti.com, they can custom make clothes to your measurements.  They also have the standard sizes.  Right now they have buy 2, get 1 free.  Also new customer's can save $25 on their first order. They can be a little pricey, but they only make the clothes when you order them.  They can also customize sleeve size/type and shirt length.

As for makeup, I wear Covergirl's powder & foundation in one.  It comes in a dark blue hand sized compact.  Then I also wear mascara and that's it.

One thing to remember, your office is business casual, but would you ever have a need for a more formal work outfit?  I work in a legal office and while we are business casual everyday, if I have a need to be in court or at a deposition to assist - I need to wear something more formal.  Would your office ever have a need for client meetings or anything like that, and would those meetings be more formal dress?  Maybe something to ask a co-worker about once you get started, so that you won't be surprised about needing a last minute formal business outfit.

melbenso

On the makeup thing, wear it if you want to.  If you don't, don't.  I am an attorney and the only time I wear makeup to the office is when I have a jury trial (so like twice a year, most of our cases are tried to the judge).  It's a personal preference and I prefer to sleep in a little later and not put on makeup.  In my 8+ years at my job, no one has ever told me I look unprofessional for not wearing it (and would get an earful if they did).

photokitty

I work in a profession where most women wear makeup. I do not. I don't think you should start wearing makeup based on peer pressure. I am sure you are gorgeous without! I also believe not wearing it has kept my skin healthier and younger looking...no offense to anyone who wears it. I just don't think putting chemicals into my pores is worth pleasing others when I'm happy with how I look without it

Inkdancer

I just want to go shopping with you. I am the girliest girl and I love helping my friends find clothes and makeup that make them feel pretty.

JCbride2015

Inkdancer said:

I just want to go shopping with you. I am the girliest girl and I love helping my friends find clothes and makeup that make them feel pretty.

I'm the same way.  I live for this stuff!

wandajune6

I agree with the PPs on Sephora. They're fabulous!

Beyond that, I just wanted you to know you're not alone. My mom's not girlie in the slightest and I learned this stuff from coworkers in a long-ago job. 2 women- one who is now my boss- pulled me aside and told me that I needed to up my game. I spent the next day at Sephora, the clearance racks of Talbots and Ann Taylor, and covered Macy's. I gets a lot easier.

It sounds odd but watching "What Not To Wear" helped me figure out what works for my body. There were several episodes with women who looked like me (heavy, all chest and belly, no hips or ass) and they helped make the women look amazing. It might be worth checking out show archives online.

Finally, good for you! I grew up being told that you shouldn't be judged on your appearance. That just doesn't prove true in the workplace- it makes a huge difference. I've also found that this holds particularly true in traditionally male fields. I've gotten huge increases in confidence from dressing well and "looking the part" professionally. I'm in a super-casual environment now but I still make an effort most of the time.

jenna8984

@inkdancer @jcbride2015

 

Inkdancer

jenna8984 said:

@inkdancer @jcbride2015

 

Hell yeah!

JCbride2015

Inkdancer said:

jenna8984 said:

@inkdancer @jcbride2015

 

Hell yeah!

Simky906

The ladies have covered a lot already, but in regards to your clothing I want to emphasize the importance of fit. A simple outfit that fits your properly will make you look and feel so much better. You may have to try a lot of things on before finding something that works so don't be afraid to do that. And I second the motion of watching What Not To Wear. My mom and I are addicted to that show and it made a massive difference in my mom's style (she was a bit of a frump but got a million times better watching that show).

With makeup, that is of course not something that you have to do. However, I wear makeup to work everyday. I am a very young looking 26 and I've been in a management position for over three years now. I personally feel that my wearing of makeup makes me look more polished and mature, which is helpful when I'm managing people my parents age and older. I don't wear a ton though on a daily basis, just foundation, blush, mascara and lipstick or gloss. 

beethery

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DaXJmo9cro

buttercup1958

I'm so sad What Not To Wear ended, i was hoping they would do it forever and evers.

VulgarGirl

shrekspeare said:

You should marathon What Not To Wear. They give everyone basic style tips and how to dress for your body. Also, Clinton. 

YES!!!! And they make What Not to Wear books. Both for the US show and the UK orignial. Both awesome and they dress all body types. Great place to get some ideas of what would work or wouldn't work. 

I'm a visual/hands on person so I find just playing dress up helps me figure what does and doesn't work for me. Like by wearing the color yellow I found out yellow makes me look ill. So I don't wear yellow anymore. But everyone loves me red, so I wear red. I'd seriously go to a store and start picking up things that look interesting. If you put something on and hate it, stop and ask why you hate it. If you put something on and love it, ask why you love it. Then you'll get a good idea of what works and what doesn't work for you.

Also, a good tailor/seamstress. Find one. I am short and tiny but also have a decent butt, I have the hardest time find clothes off the rack that fit my body. A good tailor has helped me make my clothes really work on my body. And FI (who has a more professional job then me), swears by her seamstress. It's not always the cheapest, but damn you will look good. 

jenna8984

MagicInk said:

shrekspeare said:

You should marathon What Not To Wear. They give everyone basic style tips and how to dress for your body. Also, Clinton. 

YES!!!! And they make What Not to Wear books. Both for the US show and the UK orignial. Both awesome and they dress all body types. Great place to get some ideas of what would work or wouldn't work. 

I'm a visual/hands on person so I find just playing dress up helps me figure what does and doesn't work for me. Like by wearing the color yellow I found out yellow makes me look ill. So I don't wear yellow anymore. But everyone loves me red, so I wear red. I'd seriously go to a store and start picking up things that look interesting. If you put something on and hate it, stop and ask why you hate it. If you put something on and love it, ask why you love it. Then you'll get a good idea of what works and what doesn't work for you.

Also, a good tailor/seamstress. Find one. I am short and tiny but also have a decent butt, I have the hardest time find clothes off the rack that fit my body. A good tailor has helped me make my clothes really work on my body. And FI (who has a more professional job then me), swears by her seamstress. It's not always the cheapest, but damn you will look good. 

My mom and I used to joke that we were going to film each other wearing a bunch of disgusting sweatpants just to get on the show. We love Clinton and the original hair stylist- Nick Arrojo!

LadyMillil

Try lots of things on! I have some tops that I liked the colour or pattern, but they looked ugly on the hanger, and completely awesome once I put them on. I also find it useful to look at how the mannequins are dressed in the stores. If I like what is on a mannequin, I will try to find all the pieces and see how it looks on me. Don't get discouraged if you are having trouble finding clothes you like that look good on you. Sizing, cut, and style of women's clothing are ridiculously diverse and it can take a lot of tries to find things that work for you. I wanted to update my wardrobe last spring and I couldn't find one single top for me. This year I went top crazy